Words! Words! Words! pt Two
Please refer to Words! Words! Words! pt One to review the "rules" (such as they are) of this meme. These words were given to me by gillian16:
*****
Spiritual
Hrm. I've just recently posted about my faith journey, and the difference (or rather, the lack thereof) between being spiritual and being religious. I don't think the two words describe things that are different, although perhaps they describe different aspects of the same thing.
Spirituality is, to me, the essence of humanity. It stems from our ability to ask big questions, and to seek big answers. It is what drew me to philosophy in the first place, metaphysics in particular. Existentialism, ontology, the is-ness of Being itself. Spirituality is the recognition that there is noumena beyond the phenomena, even if we cannot actually know the noumena...
To be spiritual is to be accepting that there are things which I cannot explain but are worth knowing. To understand that ritual is important, as is prayer. To breathe liquid, eat flame, drink earth and touch light - that our essential being, our soul, needs sustenance and shelter as much as our bodies, and that we cannot separate these two aspects of ourselves without doing damage, possibly irreparable, to both parts.
*****
Daughter
There is a mystery surrounding the relationship between mothers and daughters, one which I privately regret I cannot experience in reflection as I have only sons. (Standard disclaimer - I would not trade any of my sons for a daughter. ...but I'd really hoped my fourth child would be a girl...)
The relationship between myself and my mother is sometimes difficult. I don't know that we're particularly "close;" I think my sister is closer to Mum overall. But she has always, always done her best by me, and is always there when I need her. She minds my kids for me, even though I know it must be something of an imposition in her life; she respects and agrees with my opinion that the boys are better off being cared for by family than by even the best meaning outsiders, even my friends.
Right now I struggle with being "dutiful" as she suffers through her illness and treatment. It hurts me to hear her weak, so I don't call as often as I should. I know that. It does not mean I love her less; it is a push at my own weaknesses that I must explore as gently as she has always pushed me.
*****
Crafty
Hmm. I expect this is a pointer to my love of making things, but the word itself denotes 'cunning' in my internal lexicon. It is a Trickster word - crafty, cunning, sly. Oddly, a trait to which I aspire, although I expect that in reality I'm far more transparent that I think.
In terms of traditional meaning, I don't think I really am all that crafty. I have a very specific set of interests (knitting, pretty much just that), whereas to be "crafty" on those terms means, to me, to have a wide variety of interests and abilities. More like my youngest son, really, who has his creative fingers in many glue pots.
*****
Welcoming
It is important to me that people feel comfortable in my presence. I am not always an ideal hostess (I forget basic things like offering drinks, and such - thank goodness Vilmos is a detail person), but I believe I offer a warm presence and openness that allows visitors to feel at home.
People matter to me; people's feelings matter to me. Immensely. I am sometimes awkward about these things, but generally speaking, I throw a damned good party. You're all invited ">
*****
Compassionate
Ah, now this is an interesting one...
I think it was while reading one of Madeline l'Engle's Crosswicks books that the difference between passion and compassion became apparent to me.
A passionate response to someone's story means co-opting their experience and reflecting back your own baggage and emotion. If I tell you of a difficulty I'm having with my partner, and the feedback you give me is laden with the anger/grief you carry regarding your relationship with your partner, that is a passionate response. It is burdensome, and really unhelpful, and leaves both sides feeling dissatisfied - the giver of advice because their advice is rejected; the receiver because they feel unheard.
A compassionate response to someone's story means hearing what is being said, both the text and the subtext, and reflecting back what you hear in them that they might not realize. It requires separating your own emotions from the other, and responding from a lovingly neutral place. If I tell you of a difficulty I'm having with my partner, and the feedback you give is a reflection of where you hear me within the context of what you know about me, that is a compassionate response. It is freeing.
To be gentle with someone else's strong emotions is important. To be compassionate - it takes time. I do not always succeed. I am humbly joyful to be seen this way.
*****
Spiritual
Hrm. I've just recently posted about my faith journey, and the difference (or rather, the lack thereof) between being spiritual and being religious. I don't think the two words describe things that are different, although perhaps they describe different aspects of the same thing.
Spirituality is, to me, the essence of humanity. It stems from our ability to ask big questions, and to seek big answers. It is what drew me to philosophy in the first place, metaphysics in particular. Existentialism, ontology, the is-ness of Being itself. Spirituality is the recognition that there is noumena beyond the phenomena, even if we cannot actually know the noumena...
To be spiritual is to be accepting that there are things which I cannot explain but are worth knowing. To understand that ritual is important, as is prayer. To breathe liquid, eat flame, drink earth and touch light - that our essential being, our soul, needs sustenance and shelter as much as our bodies, and that we cannot separate these two aspects of ourselves without doing damage, possibly irreparable, to both parts.
*****
Daughter
There is a mystery surrounding the relationship between mothers and daughters, one which I privately regret I cannot experience in reflection as I have only sons. (Standard disclaimer - I would not trade any of my sons for a daughter. ...but I'd really hoped my fourth child would be a girl...)
The relationship between myself and my mother is sometimes difficult. I don't know that we're particularly "close;" I think my sister is closer to Mum overall. But she has always, always done her best by me, and is always there when I need her. She minds my kids for me, even though I know it must be something of an imposition in her life; she respects and agrees with my opinion that the boys are better off being cared for by family than by even the best meaning outsiders, even my friends.
Right now I struggle with being "dutiful" as she suffers through her illness and treatment. It hurts me to hear her weak, so I don't call as often as I should. I know that. It does not mean I love her less; it is a push at my own weaknesses that I must explore as gently as she has always pushed me.
*****
Crafty
Hmm. I expect this is a pointer to my love of making things, but the word itself denotes 'cunning' in my internal lexicon. It is a Trickster word - crafty, cunning, sly. Oddly, a trait to which I aspire, although I expect that in reality I'm far more transparent that I think.
In terms of traditional meaning, I don't think I really am all that crafty. I have a very specific set of interests (knitting, pretty much just that), whereas to be "crafty" on those terms means, to me, to have a wide variety of interests and abilities. More like my youngest son, really, who has his creative fingers in many glue pots.
*****
Welcoming
It is important to me that people feel comfortable in my presence. I am not always an ideal hostess (I forget basic things like offering drinks, and such - thank goodness Vilmos is a detail person), but I believe I offer a warm presence and openness that allows visitors to feel at home.
People matter to me; people's feelings matter to me. Immensely. I am sometimes awkward about these things, but generally speaking, I throw a damned good party. You're all invited ">
*****
Compassionate
Ah, now this is an interesting one...
I think it was while reading one of Madeline l'Engle's Crosswicks books that the difference between passion and compassion became apparent to me.
A passionate response to someone's story means co-opting their experience and reflecting back your own baggage and emotion. If I tell you of a difficulty I'm having with my partner, and the feedback you give me is laden with the anger/grief you carry regarding your relationship with your partner, that is a passionate response. It is burdensome, and really unhelpful, and leaves both sides feeling dissatisfied - the giver of advice because their advice is rejected; the receiver because they feel unheard.
A compassionate response to someone's story means hearing what is being said, both the text and the subtext, and reflecting back what you hear in them that they might not realize. It requires separating your own emotions from the other, and responding from a lovingly neutral place. If I tell you of a difficulty I'm having with my partner, and the feedback you give is a reflection of where you hear me within the context of what you know about me, that is a compassionate response. It is freeing.
To be gentle with someone else's strong emotions is important. To be compassionate - it takes time. I do not always succeed. I am humbly joyful to be seen this way.