....this is not happening

[lyndsey_61636]

Next Wednesday is not happening. I refuse to have a birthday. I will not turn 15 until 14 is done over... or wiped away from my memory for all eternity. Everything fell apart. It was like after the calm, the storm finally broke. and when it hit... it hit harder than I would have ever thought and or dreamed. I was knocked halfway across the country for soemthing that wasnt even my fault.
I'm trembling. again, for something that isnt even my fault.... Next year will be better. Thats what I always wish for, a good school year, a better school year. and happiness. These tears shouldnt fall right now. They're real enough ....but I dont want this... I dont want any of this. I dont want next wednesday. I dont want 15...
I dont want cake, I dont want a lame ass family party, I dont want gifts ...I dont want any of this. I want to skip everything....
I think I'll just sleep all day. I wont do anything... I'll enjoy getting a year older and I will stay in my room all day, doors locked, curled in bed with really loud Mozart blaring with a good book (required summer reading)
Damn you Miss Robinson! (sings the simon and garfunkle song)
NO! IIE! NUNKA! NYET!
I WILL NOT TAKE THIS LYING DOWN!
I will take it with all the strength of water. I'll bend and ...that will be that.
I hope.