im caught in the everglow...
am i just so happy with my life right now. i had a really awesome conversation with my mom about...just...everything. about life, and people changing, and for the first time i explained to her about my life last year and how depressed i was, and why i gave up on god, and why even now i still cant pray...and it just felt so good to get it all out there, but she pretty much had no idea, and i think maybe, just maybe we understand each other a little better now. i almost started crying even, and she did start crying. but it was more of a purging than a saddness. and i dunno,..it just seemed right. i miss being able to have these moments with her, bc lately, theres been alot of stress. just everything with college, and maude, and i think she was near a major breakdown, but last night was the cure, and i think now she knows we're in it together, not alone. we're never truely alone. and its strange to think a year ago i was saying we will always be alone. i think im thankful to have gone throuugh so much shit in my life to have arrived at the mindset i have now. ive grown so so much, and i never acknowledged it openly until last night. i think im on my way. things will be ok in the end. life is what you make of it.
and on a side note...though im sure there are maybe like 4 people that read this...can you guys maybe say a prayer...or if u dont pray...just keep my dog, maude, in your thuoghts? shes pretty sick. she cant really walk right now...theory is theres something impeading on a nerve in her neck, thus the reason why her whole left side is limp. i dont know whats going to happen. her heart is still there. so im not terribly worried yet. but if u could maybe just think of her, it might help some. my moms friend tina, the healer, has been saying novenas for her every night this week and maudes been happier, but no improvement with the movement. sigh. i just dont know.
and on one more random note...i couldnt be happier things are going slowly between myself and someone. the fact is it happened...despite all my doubts. and its just so...stolen. we're takin it slow, and i kinda like it. its fun. and not suffocating. so lets see where things go...im liking the not knowing part. its an advneture. [:
and on a side note...though im sure there are maybe like 4 people that read this...can you guys maybe say a prayer...or if u dont pray...just keep my dog, maude, in your thuoghts? shes pretty sick. she cant really walk right now...theory is theres something impeading on a nerve in her neck, thus the reason why her whole left side is limp. i dont know whats going to happen. her heart is still there. so im not terribly worried yet. but if u could maybe just think of her, it might help some. my moms friend tina, the healer, has been saying novenas for her every night this week and maudes been happier, but no improvement with the movement. sigh. i just dont know.
and on one more random note...i couldnt be happier things are going slowly between myself and someone. the fact is it happened...despite all my doubts. and its just so...stolen. we're takin it slow, and i kinda like it. its fun. and not suffocating. so lets see where things go...im liking the not knowing part. its an advneture. [: