ugh
its been a while but much needed i forgot about this website but it will soon be all i can think about. My words cannot be a beautifully placed as yours or others but simply run on sentences that make no sense to anyone, not even me. Times have changed o man have they. The other day he told me, that he told his friend that he feels sorry for me because i have no one else. I cried of the thought. Its true though i think i have even lost myself. I have no friends and sometimes i feel no family. You were all I had and i still to this day believe it was not my fault. No apologies no conversations nothing but a SIMPLE (mis) UNDERSTANDING of forgiveness. I di not forgive you but want to so bad. I am making a horrible decision right now but have no one to talk to about it. One annoys me, one doesnt understand me, and one is too busy thinking everything is just fine. I am in pain now everyday I dont even want to wake up My hair s falling out literally the tub gets clogged almost once a week, its just a stupid reminder. I am just fet up with life, and the NO fun i have. Its always work and school no more fun is this life is this the rest of my life cuz shit no wonder people complain.I needed to get this off my chest i do feel better but this doesnt fix things...it sucks having no one to talk to when you used to have so many to talk to. All of his friends are coming down and everyday new thing to do but i lost all mine and cannot go back......not only because how i got screwed over but you wont let me and dont understand my emptiness. I feed off of attention and havent got any in months besides yours which isnt too satisfying at time. I dont want to drink beer or party just hang out and do things without alchohol or drugs.........my pain seems to be never ending lately. My highlight of the day is when i eat, which leads to my other problem.