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Your health issues always reminded me of the book of Job, and this was even before you mentioned that you were Christian. For me, the book of Job is the perfect summation of why the diety worshipped in the Abrahamic religions is, frankly, evil.
I've always been mystified and a bit creeped out by how many beings (and I say beings, because it's not a strictly human characteristic), who allow themselves to be abused. From the battered wife to the loyal dog of an abusive master to employees of exploitive companies, the world is full of beings who could walk away, and don't.
I was startled when, during the midst of some particularly heinous health and relationship problems, you announced a return to religion. You're intelligent - you must be aware that your diety is one that is on record as repeatedly using disease to torment humanity. Not always to punish, sometimes just for the hell of it.
I would be interested in understanding how you reconcile your faith with your suffering. This is not the "why does God allow suffering" question, not exactly. It's more, why do you respect a God who inflicts suffering? Do you feel as though you deserve to be punished by God? Or, that God isn't relevant to your health problems? Or, that your suffering isn't relevant to God?
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