Spreading the Dane Cook Love
Ok, we all know great comedy comes in awesome packages, and Dane Cook is by far the best package! He actually stands by his fans and updates his Myspace with superlicious goodness.
From the brain of Dane Cook, may these brighten up your day:
"There is no better feeling in the whole wide world than when the cop that is following behind your car takes a left. Especially when you DO have a body in your trunk. "
"I hate the ocean. It's ugly and smells like a salty puddle. It is too damn loud with it's churning and splashing. The people that say they love the ocean are also not pretty to look at. They steal, lie and are not fair or right about most everything. The ocean is a pool filled with awful unattractive creatures that have no business on this planet. We should build a skyscraper-sized toaster, plug it in and drop it in the ocean electrocuting all the varmints in there. After that drain it and build some ballsy skateboard parks!"
"Nobody can tell you that you won't make it in this world. Yet, if we can rally everyone in the world to tell you that you won't make it than it's true. You really have no shot because all of us don't care for your work and we are the world. Odds are you will be fine but have a back up plan in case all of us come calling with some bad news."
"I can only eat egg whites if they are colored with a yellow food dye appearing like they are regular eggs. When I say "these are delicious regular eggs 'you respond with "yes they look like tasty regular eggs and NOT egg whites.' "
"If I went to college I would major in Apology. "