(no subject)
I must say I'm in a rather chipper mood today. I suspect it's the new herbal supplements I'm on. I certainly hope so cause if it is that means they are working! I feel like going out for a run, or skipping through the office, doing cartwheels etc. I can't stand sitting at my desk. I've checked my journals and my email and everything probably 50 times today. I'm going nuts but in a good way. :)
This means that if I keep this up I'll actually want to go out and do stuff this weekend. I'm thinking if it dries up enough I will probably do a bit of archery, some hiking, a few long walks and clean the house. Then at night I'll either veg with some movies, or do more exercise if I'm this jittery. I'm sure this isn't going to help my insomnia but it sure beats having to eat 1200 or less calories a day to maintain my current weight. I presume or am hoping it will stablize after a week or so anyways. The other good side effect is I'm not freezing cold anymore. I'm so tired of being cold all day long!
I've also got a lot of work to do before mid-march when my does are due. I'll be taking a week off of work then. I haven't taken time off in over a year and have a month of vacation time accrued.
My dreams the last few nights have been very lucid. I normally have very lucid dreams to begin with, but these were so clear, so detailed that when I woke it took me a few moments to pull back into reality and my surroundings. The one dream was especially interesting because right before I woke up I pulled the loose change out of my pockets, then when I woke up I pulled the loose change out of the pair of pants I had been wearing before I went to bed and had the exact same loose change. It just seemed kind of odd. I've been having these excellent dreams of past friends or people I admire or am attracted to and how we meet up again and we run off and live happily ever after. The realness of the dreams is incredible, makes me want to go back to sleep for more. It's also probably part of the reason I've been dreading work so much too. Work drags me away from the dreams. Sleep is bliss when it comes to me.
On another good note. I got my first raise of the year too, and it was setup to be effective Jan 1 so I'm very excited. I'd gotten a raise the last quarter of the year too and didn't expect one for about 6 months, this one was a lot more than I had expected as well. Now if only I didn't have all these side interests eating into the money I'd be very well off, but bored so..... I'm hoping to actually take a vacation some time this year too, probably either summer or early fall is what I'm going to schedule and plan for.
I'm going to rent a few movies tonight and was given this huge gift card for a local video place so will be looking for suggestions for movies to rent. Usually I just roam around the video store until I find something watchable, but half the time I never do and leave grumpily. :(
I'm thinking about starting to write again. I use to do it frequently in my teenage days, and have a few times on and off when inpiration hits but since I lost all of my writings in the fire I haven't bothered to do anything since them, it's silly and for the most part I could get copies of them from people who have been sent them over the years, but it's just not the same thing I guess. I'd already gone through them and weeded out the garbage, the childish, less than complete writings. It's funny but I actually miss my late teenage days. I was so free back then, so sure of myself, so sure of what I wanted to do. I was charasmatic, charming, beautiful and sophisticated. I didn't see in then, but in looking back, men turned their heads to look at me, I had loads of friends, loads of good times, memorable times, and now it seems I'm just there, of course this is my fault, my choice. I choose to not go to and to not do things I use to and to instead stay home and raise my daughter, and to have a good dedicated profession. Days go by without many memories, or happy moments, no shining stars, or at least very few. When I'm old and completely alone what memories will I rely on to pass my days with, what thoughts and moments will bring me happiness? I'd love to when I get older and don't have a child at home to perhaps go back to school, travel, and do some of the things I miss if I still miss them then. Of course I don't think I'll ever have the friend base I use to. I just don't make friends very well, never have, except those couple of short years right out of high school, but I burned those bridges years ago. Ah if I could go back to being 17 again with what I know now, fresh out of highschool and into college.
Oh well enough rambling. These darn customers keep calling and messing up my train of thought and I feel the energy draining and a low coming on. I usually can't bear to post when the depression hits. I think about it but never do. I even think of doing private postings, but what's the point if I'm the only one who can see them?
This means that if I keep this up I'll actually want to go out and do stuff this weekend. I'm thinking if it dries up enough I will probably do a bit of archery, some hiking, a few long walks and clean the house. Then at night I'll either veg with some movies, or do more exercise if I'm this jittery. I'm sure this isn't going to help my insomnia but it sure beats having to eat 1200 or less calories a day to maintain my current weight. I presume or am hoping it will stablize after a week or so anyways. The other good side effect is I'm not freezing cold anymore. I'm so tired of being cold all day long!
I've also got a lot of work to do before mid-march when my does are due. I'll be taking a week off of work then. I haven't taken time off in over a year and have a month of vacation time accrued.
My dreams the last few nights have been very lucid. I normally have very lucid dreams to begin with, but these were so clear, so detailed that when I woke it took me a few moments to pull back into reality and my surroundings. The one dream was especially interesting because right before I woke up I pulled the loose change out of my pockets, then when I woke up I pulled the loose change out of the pair of pants I had been wearing before I went to bed and had the exact same loose change. It just seemed kind of odd. I've been having these excellent dreams of past friends or people I admire or am attracted to and how we meet up again and we run off and live happily ever after. The realness of the dreams is incredible, makes me want to go back to sleep for more. It's also probably part of the reason I've been dreading work so much too. Work drags me away from the dreams. Sleep is bliss when it comes to me.
On another good note. I got my first raise of the year too, and it was setup to be effective Jan 1 so I'm very excited. I'd gotten a raise the last quarter of the year too and didn't expect one for about 6 months, this one was a lot more than I had expected as well. Now if only I didn't have all these side interests eating into the money I'd be very well off, but bored so..... I'm hoping to actually take a vacation some time this year too, probably either summer or early fall is what I'm going to schedule and plan for.
I'm going to rent a few movies tonight and was given this huge gift card for a local video place so will be looking for suggestions for movies to rent. Usually I just roam around the video store until I find something watchable, but half the time I never do and leave grumpily. :(
I'm thinking about starting to write again. I use to do it frequently in my teenage days, and have a few times on and off when inpiration hits but since I lost all of my writings in the fire I haven't bothered to do anything since them, it's silly and for the most part I could get copies of them from people who have been sent them over the years, but it's just not the same thing I guess. I'd already gone through them and weeded out the garbage, the childish, less than complete writings. It's funny but I actually miss my late teenage days. I was so free back then, so sure of myself, so sure of what I wanted to do. I was charasmatic, charming, beautiful and sophisticated. I didn't see in then, but in looking back, men turned their heads to look at me, I had loads of friends, loads of good times, memorable times, and now it seems I'm just there, of course this is my fault, my choice. I choose to not go to and to not do things I use to and to instead stay home and raise my daughter, and to have a good dedicated profession. Days go by without many memories, or happy moments, no shining stars, or at least very few. When I'm old and completely alone what memories will I rely on to pass my days with, what thoughts and moments will bring me happiness? I'd love to when I get older and don't have a child at home to perhaps go back to school, travel, and do some of the things I miss if I still miss them then. Of course I don't think I'll ever have the friend base I use to. I just don't make friends very well, never have, except those couple of short years right out of high school, but I burned those bridges years ago. Ah if I could go back to being 17 again with what I know now, fresh out of highschool and into college.
Oh well enough rambling. These darn customers keep calling and messing up my train of thought and I feel the energy draining and a low coming on. I usually can't bear to post when the depression hits. I think about it but never do. I even think of doing private postings, but what's the point if I'm the only one who can see them?