Dear God
I don't think I am emotionally ready for college. I don't know what else to say. Yesterday, I posted how I was feeling an one person totally took it up the ass an told everyone else. I don't feel that I have any real friends. I know people tell me that they are my friend, but their actions don't show it. Everytime I want to do something, I mention it an nobody wants to do it... then 30 minutes to an hour later someone else says what I JUST said an everyone is like YEAH, that would be fun. So, of course I go along, pushing my hurt aside because when I mentioed it nobody wanted to do it. God, I don't see a purpose here for me... not just in school, but in life. I just want to go back to before I was born, an NOT be. I hope the world becomes a better place before I have kids. I never want them to go through the crummy times I have been through. Everybody is always yelling at me, whether it be my parents or my friends, somebody always is. Nothing I do makes anyone happy an it makes me sad to know that even my own mom isn't proud of me, at least she never shows it. I can't even remember the last time she an I hung out without fighting an she never played with me when I was little. Maybe that is why I am so messed up in the head. Maybe not. I wish I knew what is wrong with me an why I am always feeling the way I am. What if I were born into a different family? How would I be? Would I be the same person? Come to the same college? Have the same morals? Would I be friends with me if I were someone else?