I typed timorous not entirely sure if I was using it correctly
I think if I were ever a domestic goddess with a(n) magazine/home decor line/empire, à la Martha Stewart, I would promote my latest handy idea in the post-holiday section of my magazine where I share tidbits on what to do with the gifts you're not wild about. I received a kitten calendar, and it's not exactly to my taste. Not because I don't like kittens - everyone knows they're like organic, furry Prozac - and not because I don't like keeping track of time - although I don't, because it's an inconvenient reminder of my own mortality. It's just that I think a kitten calendar can never equal the real squawking, timorous glory of an iddy biddy widdle kittykins. And there's something Umbridgesque about it, too. But I wasn't about to regift it like a cheap bastard, or toss it on the garbage heap.* No, to make the calendar uniquely my own**, I drew clever little thought bubbles above the kittens' heads, and therein wrote communistic slogans, like, "You are but a screw in the revolutionary machine."*** In short, don't dream it's over.**** Everything has its own calling suited to your minuscule, not-quite-but-almost-original niche in the universe.
*Recycle, you son of a bitch
**that is not a redundant phrase
***I'm pretty sure that's the only communist slogan I know; I actually have to think of 11 more...
****My requisite Crowded House reference du jour, but you should know they have a lot of other good songs besides that, their biggest hit. Also check out the Finn brothers' previous band, Split Enz.
*Recycle, you son of a bitch
**that is not a redundant phrase
***I'm pretty sure that's the only communist slogan I know; I actually have to think of 11 more...
****My requisite Crowded House reference du jour, but you should know they have a lot of other good songs besides that, their biggest hit. Also check out the Finn brothers' previous band, Split Enz.