(no subject)
I think we're in a fight. Well not so much a fight but a definite "off" period. I thought it would go away after I finished all my tests..because I'm not as stressed right now. Just really tired. But I still feel stand-offish to him. I feel like I have something to say, but I don't know what it is.
Maybe it was Monday. Monday we got into an argument about bugs. I don't think he thought it was an argument, but if definitely was...and I definitely got my feelings hurt. over STUPID stuff too...but stuff thats still important to me. like bugs. he has bugs in his apartment...and a LOT of them. one of the ways to get rid of them is to clean...but i know that its hard to get it clean all the time. i understand that. but then there's also pest control who will come spray for FREE every thursday if they ask. i've brought this situation up before and i understand he doesn't have time to go talk to the office. i understand THAT. what hurts is that he doesn't care that i'm grossed out by the bugs. "it doesn't bother him" but it bothers me!! it really bothers me! and to think that he won't care about it because he doesn't see it as a priority and doesn't value it even though I do just bugs me! and it really upsets me! it just makes me feel lower than him, as if my priorities or values don't mean anything to him. maybe just a bunch of little things added up and i just exploded, but this really annoyed me. it makes me think "what else will be like this in the future?" little things don't get me that bad-like leaving his clothes and towels on the floor everywhere-i can deal with that for some time....but if i'm going to stay at his place, i want to stay somewhere clean...ESPECIALLY if its so simple to fix! its not that i dont want to be there...it just grosses me out when theres bugs EVERYWHERE! but thats not what i'm upset about. i'm upset that when i asked him to talk to the office, he said he just doesn't care and it doesn't bother him. meh.
ALSO a little thing that bothered me last night was when he decided that it was too cold and out of his way to come over. i'm sorry, but i do believe i come over at least twice a week in the cold and he is REALLY out of my way. i get the fact that i have a smaller bed, and its not that comfortable, and i understand that he gets to sleep early because he has a busy schedule, but what about me? i want to see him! i love sleeping with him! and i dont mind biking over there most of the time...but seriously! it makes me think that he isn't that into it. especially when the reason he doesnt come over is video games. YES i understand thats his outlet and i hate to keep that between us...but it is between us. i feel like its either video games or sex for him sometimes.
maybe i'm just upset about school and stressed out. i don't know. i love my boyfriend, i love him like crazy, but sometimes....*sigh*
Maybe it was Monday. Monday we got into an argument about bugs. I don't think he thought it was an argument, but if definitely was...and I definitely got my feelings hurt. over STUPID stuff too...but stuff thats still important to me. like bugs. he has bugs in his apartment...and a LOT of them. one of the ways to get rid of them is to clean...but i know that its hard to get it clean all the time. i understand that. but then there's also pest control who will come spray for FREE every thursday if they ask. i've brought this situation up before and i understand he doesn't have time to go talk to the office. i understand THAT. what hurts is that he doesn't care that i'm grossed out by the bugs. "it doesn't bother him" but it bothers me!! it really bothers me! and to think that he won't care about it because he doesn't see it as a priority and doesn't value it even though I do just bugs me! and it really upsets me! it just makes me feel lower than him, as if my priorities or values don't mean anything to him. maybe just a bunch of little things added up and i just exploded, but this really annoyed me. it makes me think "what else will be like this in the future?" little things don't get me that bad-like leaving his clothes and towels on the floor everywhere-i can deal with that for some time....but if i'm going to stay at his place, i want to stay somewhere clean...ESPECIALLY if its so simple to fix! its not that i dont want to be there...it just grosses me out when theres bugs EVERYWHERE! but thats not what i'm upset about. i'm upset that when i asked him to talk to the office, he said he just doesn't care and it doesn't bother him. meh.
ALSO a little thing that bothered me last night was when he decided that it was too cold and out of his way to come over. i'm sorry, but i do believe i come over at least twice a week in the cold and he is REALLY out of my way. i get the fact that i have a smaller bed, and its not that comfortable, and i understand that he gets to sleep early because he has a busy schedule, but what about me? i want to see him! i love sleeping with him! and i dont mind biking over there most of the time...but seriously! it makes me think that he isn't that into it. especially when the reason he doesnt come over is video games. YES i understand thats his outlet and i hate to keep that between us...but it is between us. i feel like its either video games or sex for him sometimes.
maybe i'm just upset about school and stressed out. i don't know. i love my boyfriend, i love him like crazy, but sometimes....*sigh*