This was probably one of those "Long Time Coming" things.
I can't understand it.
I just... can't. On the whole, I pride myself on taking on a worldly view and striving to see from all perspectives, whether the difference lies in culture, society, politics, race, orientation, or what-have-you. The uniqueness of humanity is dazzling to me, and I adore discovering of differing points of views just so I may research and learn. While I may not agree with what someone else does and says, I will support what they do and say on the basis of living their whole truth (so long as those truths do not surpass the basic restraints of morality: Life, Liberty, and Property).
However.
I tend to stalk many of my acquaintances from high school who were, at some point in time, good friends of mine. This habit is somewhat strange, sure, but again, this habit stems from that yearning to learn and understand the different routes of thought and life. I am fascinated by the human condition and the choices we make, the beliefs we carry, and the lives we lead. Something akin to reading fiction, I suppose. Losing oneself behind the eyes of another person.
Many of these people hosts regularly updated blogs that I frequent on a semi-weekly basis. Some blogs focus on their parenting stories and others share their handmade creations to the world. A few follow their professional lives and many tell the tales of their family lives. [... I am at that point in life when so many people I know are procreating at a disturbingly rapid pace. At times, I feel as if I am behind the pack, but then I realize that, considering what I have learned from some of these people, I am actually in front of everyone else. Strange, perhaps, but a comforting thought.]
One such blog is authored by a woman with whom I was best friends throughout middle school. We grew apart in high school, but through the glories of the internet, we have kept in somewhat tangible touch. She has two children and another child on the way. Her husband is a doctor, and she is a stay-at-home mother. She swears by cloth diapering and leading a healthy lifestyle, and she adores her children very much. She is quite beautiful and always has been. And I never really had a problem with her up until recently, as I started to really read her family blog.
You see, this person is a "born again Christian," and she and her husband are ENGULFED by it.
Once upon a time, which I now refer to as my "Jesus Phase" (...much like my Beatles phase when I was sixteen years old), I was quite the Catholic Bible-thumper. I even worked at a Christian bookstore. During my entire junior year and for most of my senior year, I was a self-proclaimed "Jesus freak," and adored the literature, music, worship, fellowship, and God-lust of succumbing to the extreme side of religiosity. So, I have been there, done that, so to speak.
But never, ever, have I been this gone:
If you know anything about us, you know that we are believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ; it is more to us than saying a quick prayer before meals, or a box to check when we are admitted to the hospital, more than just where we spend our Sunday mornings and evenings. It is our very life, our purpose, our direction, our strength, our salvation, and our testimony: that though we are filthy rags in the sight of an Almighty and Holy God, we have been bought and saved by the righteous blood of Christ who fully and perfectly obeyed the law that we never could have; and though we have nothing on our own with which to even pretend to have merit to approach the throne of Grace, that Jesus Christ Himself cleanses us and presents us as holy to His Father, that He has poured out the Holy Spirit into our lives to create and produce in us our edification and the fruits of the Spirit, and that we are now adopted sons and daughters of the Living God.
This did not spark my usual interest.
This... this made me unbelievably angry.
FILTHY RAGS in the sight of the Almighty and Holy God? BOUGHT and SAVED by the righteous blood of Christ?
Suddenly, when I read those words, I was blindly livid. And I just could not see from behind her eyes. How could anyone see themselves as a filthy rag? We are glorious and amazing creatures with this remarkable ability to think, reason, and make choices without consult, assistance, or guidance. We are not ANIMALS that have need to be BOUGHT and SAVED.
What sort of god looks at his/her people as UNCLEAN and FILTHY and only redeemed by someone's blood?
And you know what else is making me flush in anger and press against my eyes in frustration? That she and her husband are knowingly INDOCTRINATING their children's minds with such close-minded drivel. That her children will NEVER know the lessons of other worlds and cultures and beliefs; that her children will NEVER understand that they have the CHOICE. That part of life is walking your OWN path and discovering your OWN beliefs. That they are HUMAN and beautiful and individually unsurpassed in the universe WITH OR WITHOUT a god. That she agrees with this article.
And I get it. I get that this is their "choice" in life, but I can't help but be so bothered with the fact that, really, it isn't a choice. It's the digestion of someone else's ideals following the blissful erasure of real life. It's the complete disregard of the totality and uniqueness of humanity. It's the "my life has many problems, but I will lay them at the feet of the Lord and He will help me" rather than helping oneself along with whatever higher power is called upon.
It's in this quote that she quoted from another source: "He moved Heaven and earth to make Christmas real for us, wrote it in the stars, wrote us hundreds of prophecies so we'd know it, sent an angel to declare it, Mary gave up her reputation for it, [think about] how much He did to make this happen for us."
And all I want to scream at her is CHRISTMAS IS A FALLACY IN THE FIRST PLACE, A HOLIDAY STOLEN BY THE POWER-HUNGRY CHURCH WHEN (OFTEN UNBIDDINGLY)) CONVERTING THOSE OF AN EARTH-BASED RELIGION TO THE CHRISTIAN FAITH, THAT THE TREE YOU LOVE TO DECORATE IS A PAGAN REFERENCE, THE MANY WREATHS ON YOUR MANTLE AND IN YOUR HOUSE MEAN SOMETHING FAR BEYOND JESUS, AND THAT THE VERY DATE OF CHRISTMAS IS ACTUALLY BASED ON THE DAMNED WINTER SOLSTICE AND NOT ON SOMEONE'S FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY.
::breathes::
So, do you see? DO YOU SEE?
Because I just can't.
(I guarantee that I will be writing more about this later, elaborating on the fact that I actually am a spiritual person and so forth, but seeing as it is late at night, and I am teaching my sweet hellions in a few hours, I need my beauty rest. And I... think I might have a plan.)
I just... can't. On the whole, I pride myself on taking on a worldly view and striving to see from all perspectives, whether the difference lies in culture, society, politics, race, orientation, or what-have-you. The uniqueness of humanity is dazzling to me, and I adore discovering of differing points of views just so I may research and learn. While I may not agree with what someone else does and says, I will support what they do and say on the basis of living their whole truth (so long as those truths do not surpass the basic restraints of morality: Life, Liberty, and Property).
However.
I tend to stalk many of my acquaintances from high school who were, at some point in time, good friends of mine. This habit is somewhat strange, sure, but again, this habit stems from that yearning to learn and understand the different routes of thought and life. I am fascinated by the human condition and the choices we make, the beliefs we carry, and the lives we lead. Something akin to reading fiction, I suppose. Losing oneself behind the eyes of another person.
Many of these people hosts regularly updated blogs that I frequent on a semi-weekly basis. Some blogs focus on their parenting stories and others share their handmade creations to the world. A few follow their professional lives and many tell the tales of their family lives. [... I am at that point in life when so many people I know are procreating at a disturbingly rapid pace. At times, I feel as if I am behind the pack, but then I realize that, considering what I have learned from some of these people, I am actually in front of everyone else. Strange, perhaps, but a comforting thought.]
One such blog is authored by a woman with whom I was best friends throughout middle school. We grew apart in high school, but through the glories of the internet, we have kept in somewhat tangible touch. She has two children and another child on the way. Her husband is a doctor, and she is a stay-at-home mother. She swears by cloth diapering and leading a healthy lifestyle, and she adores her children very much. She is quite beautiful and always has been. And I never really had a problem with her up until recently, as I started to really read her family blog.
You see, this person is a "born again Christian," and she and her husband are ENGULFED by it.
Once upon a time, which I now refer to as my "Jesus Phase" (...much like my Beatles phase when I was sixteen years old), I was quite the Catholic Bible-thumper. I even worked at a Christian bookstore. During my entire junior year and for most of my senior year, I was a self-proclaimed "Jesus freak," and adored the literature, music, worship, fellowship, and God-lust of succumbing to the extreme side of religiosity. So, I have been there, done that, so to speak.
But never, ever, have I been this gone:
If you know anything about us, you know that we are believers in the gospel of Jesus Christ; it is more to us than saying a quick prayer before meals, or a box to check when we are admitted to the hospital, more than just where we spend our Sunday mornings and evenings. It is our very life, our purpose, our direction, our strength, our salvation, and our testimony: that though we are filthy rags in the sight of an Almighty and Holy God, we have been bought and saved by the righteous blood of Christ who fully and perfectly obeyed the law that we never could have; and though we have nothing on our own with which to even pretend to have merit to approach the throne of Grace, that Jesus Christ Himself cleanses us and presents us as holy to His Father, that He has poured out the Holy Spirit into our lives to create and produce in us our edification and the fruits of the Spirit, and that we are now adopted sons and daughters of the Living God.
This did not spark my usual interest.
This... this made me unbelievably angry.
FILTHY RAGS in the sight of the Almighty and Holy God? BOUGHT and SAVED by the righteous blood of Christ?
Suddenly, when I read those words, I was blindly livid. And I just could not see from behind her eyes. How could anyone see themselves as a filthy rag? We are glorious and amazing creatures with this remarkable ability to think, reason, and make choices without consult, assistance, or guidance. We are not ANIMALS that have need to be BOUGHT and SAVED.
What sort of god looks at his/her people as UNCLEAN and FILTHY and only redeemed by someone's blood?
And you know what else is making me flush in anger and press against my eyes in frustration? That she and her husband are knowingly INDOCTRINATING their children's minds with such close-minded drivel. That her children will NEVER know the lessons of other worlds and cultures and beliefs; that her children will NEVER understand that they have the CHOICE. That part of life is walking your OWN path and discovering your OWN beliefs. That they are HUMAN and beautiful and individually unsurpassed in the universe WITH OR WITHOUT a god. That she agrees with this article.
And I get it. I get that this is their "choice" in life, but I can't help but be so bothered with the fact that, really, it isn't a choice. It's the digestion of someone else's ideals following the blissful erasure of real life. It's the complete disregard of the totality and uniqueness of humanity. It's the "my life has many problems, but I will lay them at the feet of the Lord and He will help me" rather than helping oneself along with whatever higher power is called upon.
It's in this quote that she quoted from another source: "He moved Heaven and earth to make Christmas real for us, wrote it in the stars, wrote us hundreds of prophecies so we'd know it, sent an angel to declare it, Mary gave up her reputation for it, [think about] how much He did to make this happen for us."
And all I want to scream at her is CHRISTMAS IS A FALLACY IN THE FIRST PLACE, A HOLIDAY STOLEN BY THE POWER-HUNGRY CHURCH WHEN (OFTEN UNBIDDINGLY)) CONVERTING THOSE OF AN EARTH-BASED RELIGION TO THE CHRISTIAN FAITH, THAT THE TREE YOU LOVE TO DECORATE IS A PAGAN REFERENCE, THE MANY WREATHS ON YOUR MANTLE AND IN YOUR HOUSE MEAN SOMETHING FAR BEYOND JESUS, AND THAT THE VERY DATE OF CHRISTMAS IS ACTUALLY BASED ON THE DAMNED WINTER SOLSTICE AND NOT ON SOMEONE'S FREAKIN' BIRTHDAY.
::breathes::
So, do you see? DO YOU SEE?
Because I just can't.
(I guarantee that I will be writing more about this later, elaborating on the fact that I actually am a spiritual person and so forth, but seeing as it is late at night, and I am teaching my sweet hellions in a few hours, I need my beauty rest. And I... think I might have a plan.)