wow..its been so long
OMG- I havent been on here in forever,but its not like anyone but me reads these. Its still nice to be able to sit back and read about things that have happened to me and how I fealt about them and how I feel about then now. Last time I worte it was about starting work. Could that Have been only 4 months ago.It seems so much longer.Life is alot better.I found that if I cut out the un-needed drama in my life things would be better off.I Gusse I was right.Shit Im Passing all my classies.Im getting a more than nice pay check.Me and mom are even getting along.Things are now for the most part what i always wanted,normal.I mean sure i'm still having some issues with some things but that will never change.i havent gone out and partyed in a while but im young and have time for that.im thinking about going to icc and taking some classies.im kinda lonely though.im still going out with phillip, but its like going out with my big bro.i love him and i know he loves me but its not right.we've been going out for 6 months and all we've done is kiss. ok i dont know if thats a good thing or not.I mean its not like i just jump into bed with any guy who calls me his girlfriend, but shit i've never waited that long. wow that sounded slutty.Oh well what can you do.it didnt help that i "feel in love" with someone. I wasnt really in love but i let myself think i was.Her name was Morgan. i still think shes a hottie but she riped my heart out and cut it into little bite size crums.That and im her ex-girlfriends best friend and all three of us where messing around with the same guy (not phillip).I JUST WANT TO BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE I CAN HAVE SEX WITH AND NOT FEEL LIKE IM BRACKING LAWS BY DOING SO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need to be with a man not a over grown kid. Someone who can fill me with Knowledge. Someone whos lived more of there life,and been through life triles.Someone who sweats art.Someone who is everything i want to be. But for now im happy. living a life of contentment. Happy to be alive and knowing that in its self is a blessing from god.