(no subject)
Yeah so today was not so great, well I shouldn't say that but from 4rth block until the end of the practice was pretty horrible.
First of all, it started the practice out great that someone, for the 4rth time, had taken my sticks out of my stick bag and lost them, so I had to buy another pair because he "swore he put them back in my bag". grrr. This is getting pretty rediculous.
Then people in the drumline are becoming more and more obnoxious and bahhh. I know my part, I know what I'm supposed to play, but when Nate calls me out, I freeze. For example, Dusty, the un-accented thing today, yeah when we did a moving rep. of that, I knew it wasn't accented I just was completely clueless when he called me out, becuase all eyes are on me and I choke. It makes me so mad, I know what I'm doing, it's in my head and hands, but being singled out just does not work out. I feel like I've been failing at the one thing I could always be semi confident in, music. If I put all this time into something, shouldn't I be feeling better about it?
I'm really worried about you. Just seeing you Saturday night, brought tears to my eyes. You're changing so much, and I can barely bare it, so maybe you don't know that I love you, but I do so much, and it pains me to know the direction of your path is leading right now.
First of all, it started the practice out great that someone, for the 4rth time, had taken my sticks out of my stick bag and lost them, so I had to buy another pair because he "swore he put them back in my bag". grrr. This is getting pretty rediculous.
Then people in the drumline are becoming more and more obnoxious and bahhh. I know my part, I know what I'm supposed to play, but when Nate calls me out, I freeze. For example, Dusty, the un-accented thing today, yeah when we did a moving rep. of that, I knew it wasn't accented I just was completely clueless when he called me out, becuase all eyes are on me and I choke. It makes me so mad, I know what I'm doing, it's in my head and hands, but being singled out just does not work out. I feel like I've been failing at the one thing I could always be semi confident in, music. If I put all this time into something, shouldn't I be feeling better about it?
I'm really worried about you. Just seeing you Saturday night, brought tears to my eyes. You're changing so much, and I can barely bare it, so maybe you don't know that I love you, but I do so much, and it pains me to know the direction of your path is leading right now.