A Lesson A Day (could kill you)... Part 2
It was almost nine when Sandy pulled Jared into the Lithe Bar; the night was already in full swing, and they had to squeeze their way through the crowds. There was a band up on stage, but Jared wasn’t given the chance to stop and listen to them because Sandy was leading him toward the bar, flicking back her perfectly styled, long, dark hair. They were almost there when Sandy stopped dead.
“Is that him?” She pulled Jared down closer to her so he could hear her over the din. Jared looked to where she was pointing, and all the breath went from his lungs when he spied Jensen. He was behind the bar, dressed in a tight black t-shirt that complimented his toned body, his strong arms protruding from the sleeves making Jared recall how they felt up close. Jensen obviously worked out, but wasn’t overly muscular. His dark blue jeans hugged his hips perfectly, showing off his toned ass. Jensen was making someone a drink, tossing the bottles in the air and catching them effortlessly; there was a smile on his face when he handed the woman her drink and moved on to the next customer.
Sandy elbowed Jared in the ribs bringing him back to the real world.
“I take it that is him then,” Sandy smirked when all Jared could do was nod. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, he’s hotter than my mom’s chilli.”
Jared laughed openly, remembering how Sandy’s mom used to take great pleasure in burning the taste buds from their tongues when they were kids; luckily she hadn’t forced the chilli on them too often because they seriously could’ve caught fire from it.
“Come on, I so need a drink,” Sandy said, dragging Jared up to the bar. They found a space at the end with a couple of stools and seated themselves to wait.
There was a crowd around the bar cheering on Jensen and another bartender as they showed off their skills. Jared watched while listening to Sandy chat excitedly about how she couldn’t wait for Jared to learn all that.
Jensen turned and paused, and his eyes locked with Jared’s. Jared threw him a little wave and felt his cheeks flush when Jensen’s grin widened. Jensen looked slightly quizzical for a moment when his gaze fell on Sandy, but then he was grabbing a glass, throwing it high in the air, and catching it behind his back before putting it on the counter. The crowd cheered and clapped as Jensen spun a bottle in his hand, stopping it to pour some of its contents into a shaker. He then grabbed another bottle, tossing it in the air and catching it with the nozzle in the shaker, adding more liquid to the concoction. Next he was catching cubes of ice; fastening the lid and spinning, throwing, and shaking the ingredients together. Jensen retrieved the glass and put it down in front of Sandy who gushed at him as he poured the cocktail into it and dropped in a straw. Then he cracked open a bottle of beer and placed it before Jared.
“Glad you could make it,” Jensen said so softly Jared almost didn’t catch it; they stared at each other a moment, eyes locked together, and Jared’s heart started to beat louder than the music. Then Jensen was gone, serving another customer, and as Jared gulped half his drink, he realised hadn’t paid for or even ordered it, but he felt flattered that Jensen had remembered Jared saying that he didn’t like cocktails and preferred a nice beer instead. Sandy shivered as she sipped her drink and made a ‘God that’s good’ face before drinking more, greedily.
“Jay.” Sandy leaned over to speak in Jared’s ear, her eyes not leaving Jensen for a moment. “If you don’t want that hunk of a man, I’ll definitely take him off your hands.”
“The cocktail’s that good huh?” Jared laughed, and Sandy looked embarrassed that she’d forgotten herself for a moment.
“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t worry about it.” Jared let his gaze fall on Jensen again as he watched him work, when he felt a finger poke him in the ribs he offered Sandy a slightly sad smile.
“He seems nice,” Sandy said.
“Yeah, he is,” Jared nodded, turning his attention to his beer.
Sandy looked from Jared’s increasingly depressed face to Jensen and back again. She knew what Jared was thinking and hated that he lived in the past so much. Maybe it was time to move on. It had been a long time since Jared had shown any interest in another guy and maybe this would be a mistake, but maybe it wouldn’t. Sandy sighed.
“Listen, Jay. That was all a long time ago, and it doesn’t define who you are or the path your life is going to take. This…” she waved her hand around their surroundings, “is completely different, and you can’t let what happened stop you from being happy or at least trying to be.”
Jared looked at her for a moment; Sandy’s words always made sense to him, and he often wondered what he’d do without her.
“Does this mean I have your approval?” Jared raised his eyebrows, and Sandy rolled her eyes at him. He swept a long arm around Sandy’s shoulders, pulling her tight against him and kissing her on the head. Sandy hugged him back before squirming out of his grip. Jared grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes going back to her drink.
“You have got to learn to make these, they’re delicious,” Sandy told him draining her glass dry.
“Yeah, one day.” Jared took down the last of his beer and almost jumped out of his skin when Jensen appeared in front of him.
“Don’t worry; I’ll make sure it’s the first one you learn,” Jensen said winking at Sandy as he replaced their empties with another round of drinks.
“Yay!,” Sandy said, beaming. Then she cocked her head to the side and listened. “This song’s amazing.” Sandy jumped off her seat, took a quick sip of her new drink, and started pulling on Jared’s arm. “Dance with me.”
“What? No.” Jared looked embarrassed, seeing Jensen’s amused grin.
“Oh come on, you can’t leave me to dance by myself, what if I get accosted by some guy?” Sandy pouted, batting her dark eyelashes.
“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind; anyway, someone has to look after our drinks,” Jared insisted.
“No problem, go dance with your girl,” Jensen said with a small smile and Jared thought he saw a hint of hurt in his eyes. Jensen took their drinks and put them under the bar. Not feeling like he had a choice, Jared followed Sandy out onto the dance floor. She made a point to get as close to the band as possible.
Jared found he liked the music, kind of a new-style country, and the singers were undoubtedly amazing. Jared danced with Sandy for a few songs watching her being admired by a lot of guys. Eventually, the music changed to a slow song, and Jared went to leave the dance floor to return to his drink.
“Jay!” Jared turned immediately at Sandy’s sharp call to find her with a blonde-haired man putting his arms around her waist. Sandy struggled to free herself from the man’s grip, but he was obviously stronger than her, and Jared could hear him whispering come-ons to her.
“Come on sweet thing, you’ve been eyeing me all night,” the blonde guy drooled in her ear.
“Look I’m not interested, okay?” Sandy continued to struggle against his strong grip, which just seemed to piss the guy off. He grabbed her wrist and glared in her face.
“She said she wasn’t interested,” Jared said pulling himself to his full height as he took the guy’s hand off Sandy’s wrist and put himself between them. His heart pulsed in his ears, but he tried to ignore it.
“Who are you? Her boyfriend?” the guy asked ripping his hand out of Jared’s grip.
“And what if I am?” Jared made his eyes burn into the shorter man’s until he looked away intimidated.
“Fucking tease,” the man snarled before spitting at Sandy, and Jared heard her shriek at the assault, but she lunged past Jared to try and get to the guy before Jared could stop her. The guy lifted his arms in defence, and Sandy was sent flying backwards. Something in Jared snapped, and before he realised what was happening the guy was lying on the floor with a bloody nose.
“Hey, Jeff, get that guy outta here,” came a shout from the stage, and within seconds one of the bouncers was pushing his way onto the dance floor and grabbing Jared by the arm. “No, not him; the other guy.”
Jared looked up to the stage to see one of the singers pointing to the blonde guy on the ground. Jeff looked down, and when he saw who was there his slightly stubbled jaw clenched.
“Not you again, Murray, I’m getting sick of kicking your ass outta here,” Jeff growled, hauled Murray to his feet and escorted him off the premises. The singer looked down at Jared and smiled approvingly. Jared nodded to him thankfully before shakily turning to check on Sandy, who had picked herself up and was now on her feet and glaring at the blonde guy as Jeff shoved him out the front door.
“Are you okay?” Jared asked pulling her into his arms, more for his own comfort that any form of protection.
“What a creep,” Sandy said angrily, and then she looked up at him in concern. “Are you okay?” Sandy knew that Jared didn’t take too well to violence and hugged him tighter, pride blossoming in her chest that he’d stood up for her.
“Yeah, sure I am.” He forced a smile. “Do you wanna go?” Jared asked softly, still trying to hide the shake in his voice.
“What? Hell no, I want another one of those cocktails.” She flashed Jared a big smile, and Jared knew she was fine. His Sandy was a tough girl.
“I think that can be arranged.” As Jared slipped his arm over her shoulder and led her from the dance floor, he noticed Jensen watching them, and when they got back to the bar, Jensen already had their drinks back in place for them, and they practically downed them in one go.
“Well, that was a little more excitement than I expected on a Wednesday night,” Sandy said and smiled gratefully at Jensen when her newly emptied glass was immediately refilled.
“I dunno, I invite you to my work, and you’re getting into fights already.” Jensen’s voice sounded serious, but when Jared looked at him, he saw mischief sparkling in Jensen’s eyes.
“Yeah well, what can I say, I’m a trouble maker.” They all laughed. “I’m just grateful the singer stopped me from getting kicked out.”
“You’re welcome,” a voice said from behind Jared. Jensen reached between Jared and Sandy to pass two bottles of beer into the waiting hands of the two singers. “That guy was a jerk, and you were just standing up for your beautiful girlfriend.”
Sandy almost sprayed a mouthful of cocktail all over the singers, and they looked at her in alarm.
“I admit that Jay here is my night in shining armour, but, alas, I’m not his type,” Sandy spluttered, accepting the paper napkin Jensen handed her to wipe her mouth. Jared noticed that Jensen looked at her differently then, friendlier, with a little smile pulling at the sides of his mouth.
“Hey, thanks for that, man, it was very cool of you.” Jared held his hand out to the singer who had saved his butt. “I’m Jared, and this is my best friend, Sandy.”
“Chris,” the singer said as he shook Jared’s hand. “This is Steve.”
Steve put his hand out to shake Jared’s and then Sandy’s, nodding at them both.
“How long’s your break?” Jensen asked.
“Only a few minutes, um Jen, you’ve got a customer.” Steve pointed to the bar and Jensen went off to serve again.
“He hates it when we have a break ‘cause all the people on the dance floor decide now’s the best time for a drink,” Chris told them, and Jared turned to watch Jensen in action again. Jared could hear Sandy talking to Chris and Steve, but he couldn’t take his attention away from Jensen, and before he knew it, the band was back on stage playing again.
As the night went on, Jensen continued to keep their drinks filled up, they never paid for any nor did they have to wait to order. Jared watched Jensen, trying to figure out how he did each trick. He talked Sandy’s ear off about how he wished he could figure it out himself, pointing out all the moves he found really impressive.
“Hey, Jared, come here a minute,” Jensen called from behind the bar.
“What?” Jared looked at Sandy for confirmation that he’d heard right.
Jensen came over, took Jared’s hand firmly and pulled him closer over the bar. “Your turn,” he murmured in Jared’s ear before guiding him around to join him.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Jared said reluctantly, but Jensen kept tugging on him.
“Come on, it’s quiet now that the band’s back on, and you’ve been watching all night, it’s about time you tried it out for yourself,” Jensen insisted.
“But I’ve been drinking! I smash glasses on a good day; you really don’t want me near one when I’m inebriated,” Jared argued.
“Best time to do it You’re concentrating less, you don’t care as much about making a fool of yourself, and I’m here to help you, all the way, okay?” Jensen handed Jared a bottle and cocked his head to one side waiting for Jared to take it. “Come on, you can make Sandy her next drink.”
“Ooh, yes please.” Sandy perked up at the sound of that.
“You know, I’ll probably get you fired or something.” Jared really wasn’t sure about this.
“You won’t get me fired. I promise.” Jensen took a step toward Jared and placed the bottle in his hand. “I’m right here. I’ll guide you through it, step by step, okay?”
Jared swallowed as he nodded, but his eyes were on Jensen’s hand where it was still touching his, and then maybe it wasn’t his inebriated state that he feared would make him mess up.
Jensen moved behind Jared, just like he had earlier that day in class, held out his hand, and changed Jared’s grip on the bottle, all the time speaking into his ear, giving him instructions.
“You have to relax, Jay, I’ve got you.” Jensen pressed closer to Jared’s back and slid his hand down Jared’s arm away from the bottle. Jared shivered slightly.
“I’m not sure relaxing is something I’m capable of right now.” Jared tried to concentrate on the bottle in his hand and not the hardening in his pants.
Jensen continued to talk to him, and when he said ‘go,’ Jared tried to do as he’d been instructed. Jared flicked the bottle, and for a split second it spun on his hand before dropping off the end of his fingers as he watched in horror as it fell to the floor. Then Jensen’s hand was there, catching the falling bottle and saving Jared from a heart attack.
“See, I’m just gonna to end up breaking everything.” Jared went to walk away, but Jensen pulled him back against him, his hands firmly on Jared’s biceps.
“I told you I had you; trust me; I’m not going to let you break anything.” Jensen forced the bottle back into Jared’s hand and moved around to look him in the eye. “Don’t think about the damage you could do; don’t think about how you might drop it. Just know, if you drop it, I’ll catch it, okay?”
Jared gazed into Jensen’s eyes; they glimmered under the lights of the bar, and Jared had to bite his lip to stop himself from leaning towards those eyes. “Okay,” he managed.
Jensen’s lips stretched into a smile, and he moved back behind Jared. “Now come on, our lady is getting thirsty.”
Jared looked to where Sandy was sitting transfixed, watching them with eyes wide and a small smile on her lips. When she saw Jared looking, she raised her glass pointing to the fact that it was empty.
Jared tried to do as Jensen directed, but the closeness of Jensen’s body against his was very distracting. They fell into fits of laughter as Jensen caught the bottle for him and put it in the right place over the shaker so Jared could load it full of alcohol. He tried to be discrete about it, which just made Jared laugh all the harder. Jensen threw him the ice cubes, and when Jared actually managed to catch them in the shaker Sandy chimed in with cheers and applause. Jared took a deep bow before stumbling forward and knocking a glass off the counter. It smashed on the floor and he jumped away from the offence glancing guiltily at Jensen. He started to throw apologies Jensen’s way before he saw that Jensen was in hysterics.
“Don’t worry about it man, I think we got off pretty lightly don’t you?” Jensen asked as he wrapped an arm over Jared’s shoulders and messed his hair playfully. This caused Jared to swing Jensen into a headlock and mess up his hair even worse until they were having a full on wrestling match there behind the bar.
“Hey macho men, getting thirsty over here,” Sandy reminded them.
Jared took the shaker full of her cocktail and poured it into a glass while Jensen still had an arm slung over his shoulder watching closely and mumbling reminders not to spill it into Jared’s ear. Jared jabbed an elbow into Jensen’s ribs, and Jensen danced out of reach and let Jared wait for Sandy’s approval of her drink. Sandy tentatively took a sip and immediately started gasping.
“My God that’s strong.” Sandy waved a hand over her mouth as if she’d been eating her mom’s chilli.
“Crap, I’m sorry, I’ll get Jensen to make you one,” Jared said reaching for the glass.
“Don’t you dare!” Sandy exclaimed as she snatched the glass away from him and huddled over it protectively. “I said it was strong, not horrible. And I want the first cocktail Jared Padalecki makes, so there.” She stuck out her tongue at Jared, and he laughed heartily at her childishness.
By the end of the night, Jeff was clearing out the stragglers and Chris and Steve came to join them at the bar after clearing away their equipment. Chris moved to sit next to Sandy, much to her delight, and Steve joined Jared. Jensen provided them all with drinks and leaned over the bar in front of Jared. Their hands were so close Jared thought that if the tiny hairs on their skin were to stand up they would have actual contact.
“So, you have a good night?” Steve asked Jared, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, I only broke one glass, thanks to Jensen, and I almost killed Sandy with a cocktail so strong it could’ve raised the roof off the building. Oh and not forgetting I got to hit a guy, too,” Jared said nodding enthusiastically; he knew he was drunk but he didn’t care, and Sandy didn’t seem in any hurry to move away from Chris, either.
“Yeah, I saw you behind the bar; Jensen showing you a thing or two, was he?” Steve flicked his eyebrows up at them.
“Well at least he listens to me, which is more than I can say for some of the others,” Jensen said and gave Jared an apologetic look.
“I think I did slightly better than I did in class today,” Jared said, and he actually thought it was true.
“Ah, so you’re in Jen’s class?” Steve said knowingly. “Taking advantage of you students again, huh, Jenny?” There may have been humour in Steve’s voice when he said it, but Jared’s fears took hold, and the damage was done.
Jared froze, had he heard Steve right? Again? Jensen did this often? Was Jared not the first to receive this treatment? Of course he wasn’t, how could he have been so stupid? This was the perfect way to flirt with a guy, and with Jensen’s looks he could have any guy or girl he wanted. He probably used this to get in a guy’s pants all the time. Jensen was smacking Steve in the arm and saying something about not listening to him, but Jared’s ears couldn’t take any of it in.
“Sand?” Jared said loudly. “You about ready to go? Don’t you have class in the morning?”
“Nah, I don’t have class till the afternoon.” Sandy met Jared’s eyes, and as soon as she saw the panic in his, fear flicked through hers. “But I have got tons of studying to do, not to mention a hangover to nurse.” She got up from her seat and Jared sighed a little with relief; she really was the best friend ever.
“You really have to go?” Chris asked Sandy sadly, while Jared quickly said ‘thanks’ and ‘goodnight.’ Jared idly wondered if he was coming off as rude, but he couldn’t care; he couldn’t breathe, and he needed to get outside quickly. Not waiting for Sandy, Jared made for the exit.
“Hey, wait, Sandy. Can I get your number?” Chris pleaded, and Jared heard Sandy saying ‘yes,’ so he went outside to wait for her.
He slammed his back against the wall and struggled to keep his breathing under control, his face flushed hot and his stomach clenched with anxiety.
“Jared?”
Jared looked up from where he was gasping for air to see Jensen looking at him, concerned.
“Are you okay?” Jensen repeated the first words he had ever said to Jared.
“Yeah, I just… I drank too much is all.” It was the first thing Jared could think to say.
“You sick?” Jensen’s concern was obvious.
“No… I mean… I just need to go home.” Jared tried not to look at Jensen; Steve’s words were ringing in his head. Taking advantage of your students again!
“I was worried maybe I did something wrong.” Jensen placed a hand on Jared’s back and rubbed in gentle circles.
“I’m sorry; I guess I thought…” Now Jared did look at Jensen and was a little shocked when Jensen reached out to stroke his face. Then Jared realised that Jensen was wiping away a tear Jared hadn’t even known was there.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen stepped closer to him, his arm still working on Jared’s back.
Jared traced the lines of Jensen’s face with his eyes and found he was still breathtaking: his strong jaw, the freckles dusted over his nose and cheeks, those captivating eyes that were full of feeling, and those full lips moving closer to him.
“Nothing,” Jared whispered as he leaned toward those lips, wanting to taste them.
“Jay?”
Jared pulled away as soon as he heard Sandy’s voice.
“Here,” he called to her, stepping away from Jensen and turning from his questioning eyes.
“You okay, sweetie?” Sandy stepped past Jensen and focused completely on Jared, making him look at her.
“You ready to go?” Jared asked.
Sandy looked concerned when Jared met her gaze, and she nodded her head. “It was very nice to meet you, Jensen. I had a great time; thank you for everything,” Sandy said politely.
“Yeah, sure, no problem,” Jensen replied, obviously confused. “I hope to see you again, both of you.” Jensen’s voice was hopeful as he looked past Sandy to Jared.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” Sandy smiled sincerely before starting to lead Jared away; and Jared was sure she could feel him starting to shake under her touch.
“Jared?” Jensen called after them.
“I’ll see you in class,” Jared mumbled over his shoulder in reply and walked away quickly, leaving Jensen to watch him go.
~~~
“What was all that about?” Chris frowned when Jensen came back in with a troubled look on his face.
“Steve, you idiot. Why’d you have to go say something like that?” Jensen smacked Steve on the back of the head as he went past on his way behind the bar where helped himself to a shot of tequila.
“Like what? What did I say?” Steve asked looking innocent.
“That crack you made about my students; God knows what Jared’s probably thinking now.” Jensen downed the shot and poured himself another.
“Oh come on, it was a joke,” Steve defended. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Well that was obviously what freaked him out. Damn it, he must think I’m some slut that fucks all the guys in my class.” Jensen ran a hand down his face and stared at the door as if he was expecting Jared to come back in.
“Come off it, Jen, you haven’t fucked a guy since high school,” Steve said. “I was thinking you’d sworn them off ‘till I saw you flirting with tall, dark, and handsome tonight.”
“Yeah well he doesn’t know that, does he?” Jensen argued.
“I don’t think that’s all it was, guys,” Chris piped in. When Jensen and Steve looked questioningly at him Chris explained. “Didn’t you see the look they shared? The way Sandy was acting when he walked out, she was scared for him, man.”
“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, confused and concerned.
“I dunno, but there’s definitely something more behind it. Just be careful dude, don't get yourself caught up in something you don't want to be apart of,” Chris warned.
“Hey, hey, hey, don't go getting that look in your eye,” Steve said snapping his fingers in front of Jensen's face.
“What look?” Jensen asked.
“The mother hen look; you can’t take the world on your shoulders, you know.”
“Hey, I just want to know he's okay, that's all.” Jensen didn't know why he felt he had to defend himself to his friends, but the look in Jared's eye as that tear fell down his cheek was haunted; Chris was right, there was something more to it, and Jensen couldn't help but need to know more. He couldn't stand the fact that something must have hurt Jared badly enough to cause such a reaction.
“Hey what's going on with the Hell Beast anyway?” Chris said changing the subject to one even less welcome.
“Don't call her that,” Jensen snapped reflexively.
“Oh please tell me she's history this time?” Steve rolled his eyes, and he and Chris exchanged weary looks.
“I haven't seen her in two weeks. I'd say it's definitely over this time,” Jensen grumbled, desperately wanting to avoid the subject.
“Never say never, my friend.” Chris downed the rest of his beer and started pulling on his jacket.
“Ah, but now he's got a new obsession,” Steve teased, and Jensen couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.
“For what it’s worth, Jen, I like him,” Chris told him handing Steve his jacket.
“That’s just cause you got the hots for his girl,” Steve said as he took his jacket and waggled his eyebrows at Chris.
“Get out of here, the both of you.” Jensen grinned at his friends and gave them a shove towards the door.
“Alright, we’re going. Have fun, Jen.” Steve smacked Jensen on the back while Chris waved goodbye, and they left Jensen to clean up the rest of the bar, his thoughts lingering on the scent of Jared’s hair and feel of the tight muscles on his arms. Jensen sighed and couldn’t help but smile at the memory.
***
After climbing three flights of stairs, Jared felt pretty damn sober by the time he and Sandy entered his apartment, and he half wished he was as drunk as he had been while still at the Lithe, at least that way the numbing depression he felt creeping over him now wouldn’t affect him so much.
“So,” Sandy said quietly, automatically going past the counter that separated that kitchen from the living room to the fridge and retrieving two beers. “What’s with the sudden withdrawal?” Jared took the offered beer but avoided Sandy’s gaze with a shrug. “Don’t give me that Jared, what did he do?” Sandy’s voice was firm, but she slid into the seat next to him and gently placed her hand on his knee.
“He didn’t do anything,” Jared said, slightly defensive of Jensen. When Sandy frowned in confusion he elaborated. “It was Steve, or rather something he said.” Now that he thought about it, Jared felt stupid and worried that he might have overreacted.
“What did he say?” Sandy asked softly, never pushing more than necessary.
Jared took a deep breath. “He said that Jensen took advantage of his students,” Jared told her, his voice toned as if he were saying something ridiculous, but when he raised his eyes to meet Sandy’s, they were full of fear and sadness, begging her to tell him it wasn’t true. Sandy bit her lip but kept her face impassive. “He actually said that? As in, just came out with it?” she probed for a clearer image, Jared could tell she was kicking herself for not paying attention, for letting herself get wrapped up in Chris, and he felt guilty for always being the one with a crisis.
“Well, it sounded like he said it as a joke, when he found out I was in Jensen’s class.” Jared squinted a little, waiting to be told he was a fool.
“So, he could’ve just been pulling your leg?” she asked.
Jared rested his head on Sandy’s shoulder and sighed deeply. “I dunno, Sand.”
“You really like him, don’t you?” Sandy linked her fingers with Jared’s and squeezed lovingly.
“Do you?” Jared asked, suddenly looking up at her, eyes filled with hope. Jared wanted her to tell him what to do, what to feel, but knew she couldn’t and wouldn’t do that.
“I don’t really know him, Jay,” she said carefully. “From what I’ve seen, he seems like a real nice guy; and you two appeared to be having plenty of fun together. It looked like he honestly likes you,” she smiled at the memory of the two of them wrestling behind the bar.
“Yeah, that’s how it starts,” Jared said bitterly.
Quickly, Sandy took Jared’s face in her hands and made him meet her intense gaze.
“Listen, Jared. I can’t promise you that Jensen’s not that guy, that he’ll treat you right and never break your heart. But I do know that you can’t keep living in the past and assuming that’s the way it’s always gonna be.” She was half telling, half pleading with Jared.
“So you’re saying I should trust him?” Jared tried to look away, but Sandy kept her firm grip on his face.
“I’m saying that you shouldn’t jump to conclusions because of one thing Steve said. I get that you want to be cautious, and I think you’re right to be.” Jared looked lost again. “Get to know him, Jay. Be his friend.”
“I’m scared, Sand. I don’t trust…” Jared trailed off weakly.
“Jensen?”
“Me. I don’t trust myself around him. After what Steve said, and I got outside, I couldn’t breathe, you know? But then Jensen was there, and it’s like all my fears went away, and it was just him and me; that nothing else mattered. I just wanted to touch him, to kiss him, and for him to kiss me.” Jared took a deep, shaky breath. “He made me feel safe.”
“Oh, Jay.”
“I know; it’s stupid isn’t it? I mean, I’ve only known him a day.” Jared’s stomach fluttered when he remembered Jensen’s lips descending on his and absently licked his lips, just wishing he knew what their lips touching would feel like. “But the way he makes me feel, Sand. I’ve never… Not since…”
“The best advice I can give you is take it slow, and never do anything you don’t feel ready for, okay?” she told him kindly but with an authority to her voice that Jared always listened to.
Jared nodded and looked down at his unopened beer.
“You staying the night?” Jared changed the subject, feeling worn out.
“You want me too?” Sandy smiled and took Jared’s beer from him.
“Yeah, that would be good,” Jared said with slight relief that he wouldn’t be on his own tonight. He watched Sandy put the untouched beers back in the fridge and stood up to make his way to the bedroom. Inside the bedroom, Jared pulled open one of his drawers and took out a large t-shirt and left it on the end of the bed. Then he stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers.
The lights from the other room clicked off and Sandy came into the bedroom. Without saying a word she undressed to her underwear before pulling the t-shirt Jared supplied over her head. Jared pulled back the covers for her and Sandy snuggled up to Jared’s warmth.
“Thank you,” Jared whispered into her hair and wrapped his arms around her.
“Anytime,” Sandy murmured. “Now go to sleep.”
Smiling Jared held her tighter and let his eyes close, the image of Jensen’s lips fixed on the back of his eyelids.
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“Is that him?” She pulled Jared down closer to her so he could hear her over the din. Jared looked to where she was pointing, and all the breath went from his lungs when he spied Jensen. He was behind the bar, dressed in a tight black t-shirt that complimented his toned body, his strong arms protruding from the sleeves making Jared recall how they felt up close. Jensen obviously worked out, but wasn’t overly muscular. His dark blue jeans hugged his hips perfectly, showing off his toned ass. Jensen was making someone a drink, tossing the bottles in the air and catching them effortlessly; there was a smile on his face when he handed the woman her drink and moved on to the next customer.
Sandy elbowed Jared in the ribs bringing him back to the real world.
“I take it that is him then,” Sandy smirked when all Jared could do was nod. “Wow, you weren’t kidding, he’s hotter than my mom’s chilli.”
Jared laughed openly, remembering how Sandy’s mom used to take great pleasure in burning the taste buds from their tongues when they were kids; luckily she hadn’t forced the chilli on them too often because they seriously could’ve caught fire from it.
“Come on, I so need a drink,” Sandy said, dragging Jared up to the bar. They found a space at the end with a couple of stools and seated themselves to wait.
There was a crowd around the bar cheering on Jensen and another bartender as they showed off their skills. Jared watched while listening to Sandy chat excitedly about how she couldn’t wait for Jared to learn all that.
Jensen turned and paused, and his eyes locked with Jared’s. Jared threw him a little wave and felt his cheeks flush when Jensen’s grin widened. Jensen looked slightly quizzical for a moment when his gaze fell on Sandy, but then he was grabbing a glass, throwing it high in the air, and catching it behind his back before putting it on the counter. The crowd cheered and clapped as Jensen spun a bottle in his hand, stopping it to pour some of its contents into a shaker. He then grabbed another bottle, tossing it in the air and catching it with the nozzle in the shaker, adding more liquid to the concoction. Next he was catching cubes of ice; fastening the lid and spinning, throwing, and shaking the ingredients together. Jensen retrieved the glass and put it down in front of Sandy who gushed at him as he poured the cocktail into it and dropped in a straw. Then he cracked open a bottle of beer and placed it before Jared.
“Glad you could make it,” Jensen said so softly Jared almost didn’t catch it; they stared at each other a moment, eyes locked together, and Jared’s heart started to beat louder than the music. Then Jensen was gone, serving another customer, and as Jared gulped half his drink, he realised hadn’t paid for or even ordered it, but he felt flattered that Jensen had remembered Jared saying that he didn’t like cocktails and preferred a nice beer instead. Sandy shivered as she sipped her drink and made a ‘God that’s good’ face before drinking more, greedily.
“Jay.” Sandy leaned over to speak in Jared’s ear, her eyes not leaving Jensen for a moment. “If you don’t want that hunk of a man, I’ll definitely take him off your hands.”
“The cocktail’s that good huh?” Jared laughed, and Sandy looked embarrassed that she’d forgotten herself for a moment.
“Sorry,” she said sheepishly.
“Don’t worry about it.” Jared let his gaze fall on Jensen again as he watched him work, when he felt a finger poke him in the ribs he offered Sandy a slightly sad smile.
“He seems nice,” Sandy said.
“Yeah, he is,” Jared nodded, turning his attention to his beer.
Sandy looked from Jared’s increasingly depressed face to Jensen and back again. She knew what Jared was thinking and hated that he lived in the past so much. Maybe it was time to move on. It had been a long time since Jared had shown any interest in another guy and maybe this would be a mistake, but maybe it wouldn’t. Sandy sighed.
“Listen, Jay. That was all a long time ago, and it doesn’t define who you are or the path your life is going to take. This…” she waved her hand around their surroundings, “is completely different, and you can’t let what happened stop you from being happy or at least trying to be.”
Jared looked at her for a moment; Sandy’s words always made sense to him, and he often wondered what he’d do without her.
“Does this mean I have your approval?” Jared raised his eyebrows, and Sandy rolled her eyes at him. He swept a long arm around Sandy’s shoulders, pulling her tight against him and kissing her on the head. Sandy hugged him back before squirming out of his grip. Jared grinned at her, and she rolled her eyes going back to her drink.
“You have got to learn to make these, they’re delicious,” Sandy told him draining her glass dry.
“Yeah, one day.” Jared took down the last of his beer and almost jumped out of his skin when Jensen appeared in front of him.
“Don’t worry; I’ll make sure it’s the first one you learn,” Jensen said winking at Sandy as he replaced their empties with another round of drinks.
“Yay!,” Sandy said, beaming. Then she cocked her head to the side and listened. “This song’s amazing.” Sandy jumped off her seat, took a quick sip of her new drink, and started pulling on Jared’s arm. “Dance with me.”
“What? No.” Jared looked embarrassed, seeing Jensen’s amused grin.
“Oh come on, you can’t leave me to dance by myself, what if I get accosted by some guy?” Sandy pouted, batting her dark eyelashes.
“I’m sure you wouldn’t mind; anyway, someone has to look after our drinks,” Jared insisted.
“No problem, go dance with your girl,” Jensen said with a small smile and Jared thought he saw a hint of hurt in his eyes. Jensen took their drinks and put them under the bar. Not feeling like he had a choice, Jared followed Sandy out onto the dance floor. She made a point to get as close to the band as possible.
Jared found he liked the music, kind of a new-style country, and the singers were undoubtedly amazing. Jared danced with Sandy for a few songs watching her being admired by a lot of guys. Eventually, the music changed to a slow song, and Jared went to leave the dance floor to return to his drink.
“Jay!” Jared turned immediately at Sandy’s sharp call to find her with a blonde-haired man putting his arms around her waist. Sandy struggled to free herself from the man’s grip, but he was obviously stronger than her, and Jared could hear him whispering come-ons to her.
“Come on sweet thing, you’ve been eyeing me all night,” the blonde guy drooled in her ear.
“Look I’m not interested, okay?” Sandy continued to struggle against his strong grip, which just seemed to piss the guy off. He grabbed her wrist and glared in her face.
“She said she wasn’t interested,” Jared said pulling himself to his full height as he took the guy’s hand off Sandy’s wrist and put himself between them. His heart pulsed in his ears, but he tried to ignore it.
“Who are you? Her boyfriend?” the guy asked ripping his hand out of Jared’s grip.
“And what if I am?” Jared made his eyes burn into the shorter man’s until he looked away intimidated.
“Fucking tease,” the man snarled before spitting at Sandy, and Jared heard her shriek at the assault, but she lunged past Jared to try and get to the guy before Jared could stop her. The guy lifted his arms in defence, and Sandy was sent flying backwards. Something in Jared snapped, and before he realised what was happening the guy was lying on the floor with a bloody nose.
“Hey, Jeff, get that guy outta here,” came a shout from the stage, and within seconds one of the bouncers was pushing his way onto the dance floor and grabbing Jared by the arm. “No, not him; the other guy.”
Jared looked up to the stage to see one of the singers pointing to the blonde guy on the ground. Jeff looked down, and when he saw who was there his slightly stubbled jaw clenched.
“Not you again, Murray, I’m getting sick of kicking your ass outta here,” Jeff growled, hauled Murray to his feet and escorted him off the premises. The singer looked down at Jared and smiled approvingly. Jared nodded to him thankfully before shakily turning to check on Sandy, who had picked herself up and was now on her feet and glaring at the blonde guy as Jeff shoved him out the front door.
“Are you okay?” Jared asked pulling her into his arms, more for his own comfort that any form of protection.
“What a creep,” Sandy said angrily, and then she looked up at him in concern. “Are you okay?” Sandy knew that Jared didn’t take too well to violence and hugged him tighter, pride blossoming in her chest that he’d stood up for her.
“Yeah, sure I am.” He forced a smile. “Do you wanna go?” Jared asked softly, still trying to hide the shake in his voice.
“What? Hell no, I want another one of those cocktails.” She flashed Jared a big smile, and Jared knew she was fine. His Sandy was a tough girl.
“I think that can be arranged.” As Jared slipped his arm over her shoulder and led her from the dance floor, he noticed Jensen watching them, and when they got back to the bar, Jensen already had their drinks back in place for them, and they practically downed them in one go.
“Well, that was a little more excitement than I expected on a Wednesday night,” Sandy said and smiled gratefully at Jensen when her newly emptied glass was immediately refilled.
“I dunno, I invite you to my work, and you’re getting into fights already.” Jensen’s voice sounded serious, but when Jared looked at him, he saw mischief sparkling in Jensen’s eyes.
“Yeah well, what can I say, I’m a trouble maker.” They all laughed. “I’m just grateful the singer stopped me from getting kicked out.”
“You’re welcome,” a voice said from behind Jared. Jensen reached between Jared and Sandy to pass two bottles of beer into the waiting hands of the two singers. “That guy was a jerk, and you were just standing up for your beautiful girlfriend.”
Sandy almost sprayed a mouthful of cocktail all over the singers, and they looked at her in alarm.
“I admit that Jay here is my night in shining armour, but, alas, I’m not his type,” Sandy spluttered, accepting the paper napkin Jensen handed her to wipe her mouth. Jared noticed that Jensen looked at her differently then, friendlier, with a little smile pulling at the sides of his mouth.
“Hey, thanks for that, man, it was very cool of you.” Jared held his hand out to the singer who had saved his butt. “I’m Jared, and this is my best friend, Sandy.”
“Chris,” the singer said as he shook Jared’s hand. “This is Steve.”
Steve put his hand out to shake Jared’s and then Sandy’s, nodding at them both.
“How long’s your break?” Jensen asked.
“Only a few minutes, um Jen, you’ve got a customer.” Steve pointed to the bar and Jensen went off to serve again.
“He hates it when we have a break ‘cause all the people on the dance floor decide now’s the best time for a drink,” Chris told them, and Jared turned to watch Jensen in action again. Jared could hear Sandy talking to Chris and Steve, but he couldn’t take his attention away from Jensen, and before he knew it, the band was back on stage playing again.
As the night went on, Jensen continued to keep their drinks filled up, they never paid for any nor did they have to wait to order. Jared watched Jensen, trying to figure out how he did each trick. He talked Sandy’s ear off about how he wished he could figure it out himself, pointing out all the moves he found really impressive.
“Hey, Jared, come here a minute,” Jensen called from behind the bar.
“What?” Jared looked at Sandy for confirmation that he’d heard right.
Jensen came over, took Jared’s hand firmly and pulled him closer over the bar. “Your turn,” he murmured in Jared’s ear before guiding him around to join him.
“Oh, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Jared said reluctantly, but Jensen kept tugging on him.
“Come on, it’s quiet now that the band’s back on, and you’ve been watching all night, it’s about time you tried it out for yourself,” Jensen insisted.
“But I’ve been drinking! I smash glasses on a good day; you really don’t want me near one when I’m inebriated,” Jared argued.
“Best time to do it You’re concentrating less, you don’t care as much about making a fool of yourself, and I’m here to help you, all the way, okay?” Jensen handed Jared a bottle and cocked his head to one side waiting for Jared to take it. “Come on, you can make Sandy her next drink.”
“Ooh, yes please.” Sandy perked up at the sound of that.
“You know, I’ll probably get you fired or something.” Jared really wasn’t sure about this.
“You won’t get me fired. I promise.” Jensen took a step toward Jared and placed the bottle in his hand. “I’m right here. I’ll guide you through it, step by step, okay?”
Jared swallowed as he nodded, but his eyes were on Jensen’s hand where it was still touching his, and then maybe it wasn’t his inebriated state that he feared would make him mess up.
Jensen moved behind Jared, just like he had earlier that day in class, held out his hand, and changed Jared’s grip on the bottle, all the time speaking into his ear, giving him instructions.
“You have to relax, Jay, I’ve got you.” Jensen pressed closer to Jared’s back and slid his hand down Jared’s arm away from the bottle. Jared shivered slightly.
“I’m not sure relaxing is something I’m capable of right now.” Jared tried to concentrate on the bottle in his hand and not the hardening in his pants.
Jensen continued to talk to him, and when he said ‘go,’ Jared tried to do as he’d been instructed. Jared flicked the bottle, and for a split second it spun on his hand before dropping off the end of his fingers as he watched in horror as it fell to the floor. Then Jensen’s hand was there, catching the falling bottle and saving Jared from a heart attack.
“See, I’m just gonna to end up breaking everything.” Jared went to walk away, but Jensen pulled him back against him, his hands firmly on Jared’s biceps.
“I told you I had you; trust me; I’m not going to let you break anything.” Jensen forced the bottle back into Jared’s hand and moved around to look him in the eye. “Don’t think about the damage you could do; don’t think about how you might drop it. Just know, if you drop it, I’ll catch it, okay?”
Jared gazed into Jensen’s eyes; they glimmered under the lights of the bar, and Jared had to bite his lip to stop himself from leaning towards those eyes. “Okay,” he managed.
Jensen’s lips stretched into a smile, and he moved back behind Jared. “Now come on, our lady is getting thirsty.”
Jared looked to where Sandy was sitting transfixed, watching them with eyes wide and a small smile on her lips. When she saw Jared looking, she raised her glass pointing to the fact that it was empty.
Jared tried to do as Jensen directed, but the closeness of Jensen’s body against his was very distracting. They fell into fits of laughter as Jensen caught the bottle for him and put it in the right place over the shaker so Jared could load it full of alcohol. He tried to be discrete about it, which just made Jared laugh all the harder. Jensen threw him the ice cubes, and when Jared actually managed to catch them in the shaker Sandy chimed in with cheers and applause. Jared took a deep bow before stumbling forward and knocking a glass off the counter. It smashed on the floor and he jumped away from the offence glancing guiltily at Jensen. He started to throw apologies Jensen’s way before he saw that Jensen was in hysterics.
“Don’t worry about it man, I think we got off pretty lightly don’t you?” Jensen asked as he wrapped an arm over Jared’s shoulders and messed his hair playfully. This caused Jared to swing Jensen into a headlock and mess up his hair even worse until they were having a full on wrestling match there behind the bar.
“Hey macho men, getting thirsty over here,” Sandy reminded them.
Jared took the shaker full of her cocktail and poured it into a glass while Jensen still had an arm slung over his shoulder watching closely and mumbling reminders not to spill it into Jared’s ear. Jared jabbed an elbow into Jensen’s ribs, and Jensen danced out of reach and let Jared wait for Sandy’s approval of her drink. Sandy tentatively took a sip and immediately started gasping.
“My God that’s strong.” Sandy waved a hand over her mouth as if she’d been eating her mom’s chilli.
“Crap, I’m sorry, I’ll get Jensen to make you one,” Jared said reaching for the glass.
“Don’t you dare!” Sandy exclaimed as she snatched the glass away from him and huddled over it protectively. “I said it was strong, not horrible. And I want the first cocktail Jared Padalecki makes, so there.” She stuck out her tongue at Jared, and he laughed heartily at her childishness.
By the end of the night, Jeff was clearing out the stragglers and Chris and Steve came to join them at the bar after clearing away their equipment. Chris moved to sit next to Sandy, much to her delight, and Steve joined Jared. Jensen provided them all with drinks and leaned over the bar in front of Jared. Their hands were so close Jared thought that if the tiny hairs on their skin were to stand up they would have actual contact.
“So, you have a good night?” Steve asked Jared, taking a sip of his beer.
“Yeah, I only broke one glass, thanks to Jensen, and I almost killed Sandy with a cocktail so strong it could’ve raised the roof off the building. Oh and not forgetting I got to hit a guy, too,” Jared said nodding enthusiastically; he knew he was drunk but he didn’t care, and Sandy didn’t seem in any hurry to move away from Chris, either.
“Yeah, I saw you behind the bar; Jensen showing you a thing or two, was he?” Steve flicked his eyebrows up at them.
“Well at least he listens to me, which is more than I can say for some of the others,” Jensen said and gave Jared an apologetic look.
“I think I did slightly better than I did in class today,” Jared said, and he actually thought it was true.
“Ah, so you’re in Jen’s class?” Steve said knowingly. “Taking advantage of you students again, huh, Jenny?” There may have been humour in Steve’s voice when he said it, but Jared’s fears took hold, and the damage was done.
Jared froze, had he heard Steve right? Again? Jensen did this often? Was Jared not the first to receive this treatment? Of course he wasn’t, how could he have been so stupid? This was the perfect way to flirt with a guy, and with Jensen’s looks he could have any guy or girl he wanted. He probably used this to get in a guy’s pants all the time. Jensen was smacking Steve in the arm and saying something about not listening to him, but Jared’s ears couldn’t take any of it in.
“Sand?” Jared said loudly. “You about ready to go? Don’t you have class in the morning?”
“Nah, I don’t have class till the afternoon.” Sandy met Jared’s eyes, and as soon as she saw the panic in his, fear flicked through hers. “But I have got tons of studying to do, not to mention a hangover to nurse.” She got up from her seat and Jared sighed a little with relief; she really was the best friend ever.
“You really have to go?” Chris asked Sandy sadly, while Jared quickly said ‘thanks’ and ‘goodnight.’ Jared idly wondered if he was coming off as rude, but he couldn’t care; he couldn’t breathe, and he needed to get outside quickly. Not waiting for Sandy, Jared made for the exit.
“Hey, wait, Sandy. Can I get your number?” Chris pleaded, and Jared heard Sandy saying ‘yes,’ so he went outside to wait for her.
He slammed his back against the wall and struggled to keep his breathing under control, his face flushed hot and his stomach clenched with anxiety.
“Jared?”
Jared looked up from where he was gasping for air to see Jensen looking at him, concerned.
“Are you okay?” Jensen repeated the first words he had ever said to Jared.
“Yeah, I just… I drank too much is all.” It was the first thing Jared could think to say.
“You sick?” Jensen’s concern was obvious.
“No… I mean… I just need to go home.” Jared tried not to look at Jensen; Steve’s words were ringing in his head. Taking advantage of your students again!
“I was worried maybe I did something wrong.” Jensen placed a hand on Jared’s back and rubbed in gentle circles.
“I’m sorry; I guess I thought…” Now Jared did look at Jensen and was a little shocked when Jensen reached out to stroke his face. Then Jared realised that Jensen was wiping away a tear Jared hadn’t even known was there.
“What’s wrong?” Jensen stepped closer to him, his arm still working on Jared’s back.
Jared traced the lines of Jensen’s face with his eyes and found he was still breathtaking: his strong jaw, the freckles dusted over his nose and cheeks, those captivating eyes that were full of feeling, and those full lips moving closer to him.
“Nothing,” Jared whispered as he leaned toward those lips, wanting to taste them.
“Jay?”
Jared pulled away as soon as he heard Sandy’s voice.
“Here,” he called to her, stepping away from Jensen and turning from his questioning eyes.
“You okay, sweetie?” Sandy stepped past Jensen and focused completely on Jared, making him look at her.
“You ready to go?” Jared asked.
Sandy looked concerned when Jared met her gaze, and she nodded her head. “It was very nice to meet you, Jensen. I had a great time; thank you for everything,” Sandy said politely.
“Yeah, sure, no problem,” Jensen replied, obviously confused. “I hope to see you again, both of you.” Jensen’s voice was hopeful as he looked past Sandy to Jared.
“Yeah, that’d be nice.” Sandy smiled sincerely before starting to lead Jared away; and Jared was sure she could feel him starting to shake under her touch.
“Jared?” Jensen called after them.
“I’ll see you in class,” Jared mumbled over his shoulder in reply and walked away quickly, leaving Jensen to watch him go.
~~~
“What was all that about?” Chris frowned when Jensen came back in with a troubled look on his face.
“Steve, you idiot. Why’d you have to go say something like that?” Jensen smacked Steve on the back of the head as he went past on his way behind the bar where helped himself to a shot of tequila.
“Like what? What did I say?” Steve asked looking innocent.
“That crack you made about my students; God knows what Jared’s probably thinking now.” Jensen downed the shot and poured himself another.
“Oh come on, it was a joke,” Steve defended. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Well that was obviously what freaked him out. Damn it, he must think I’m some slut that fucks all the guys in my class.” Jensen ran a hand down his face and stared at the door as if he was expecting Jared to come back in.
“Come off it, Jen, you haven’t fucked a guy since high school,” Steve said. “I was thinking you’d sworn them off ‘till I saw you flirting with tall, dark, and handsome tonight.”
“Yeah well he doesn’t know that, does he?” Jensen argued.
“I don’t think that’s all it was, guys,” Chris piped in. When Jensen and Steve looked questioningly at him Chris explained. “Didn’t you see the look they shared? The way Sandy was acting when he walked out, she was scared for him, man.”
“What do you mean?” Jensen asked, confused and concerned.
“I dunno, but there’s definitely something more behind it. Just be careful dude, don't get yourself caught up in something you don't want to be apart of,” Chris warned.
“Hey, hey, hey, don't go getting that look in your eye,” Steve said snapping his fingers in front of Jensen's face.
“What look?” Jensen asked.
“The mother hen look; you can’t take the world on your shoulders, you know.”
“Hey, I just want to know he's okay, that's all.” Jensen didn't know why he felt he had to defend himself to his friends, but the look in Jared's eye as that tear fell down his cheek was haunted; Chris was right, there was something more to it, and Jensen couldn't help but need to know more. He couldn't stand the fact that something must have hurt Jared badly enough to cause such a reaction.
“Hey what's going on with the Hell Beast anyway?” Chris said changing the subject to one even less welcome.
“Don't call her that,” Jensen snapped reflexively.
“Oh please tell me she's history this time?” Steve rolled his eyes, and he and Chris exchanged weary looks.
“I haven't seen her in two weeks. I'd say it's definitely over this time,” Jensen grumbled, desperately wanting to avoid the subject.
“Never say never, my friend.” Chris downed the rest of his beer and started pulling on his jacket.
“Ah, but now he's got a new obsession,” Steve teased, and Jensen couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face.
“For what it’s worth, Jen, I like him,” Chris told him handing Steve his jacket.
“That’s just cause you got the hots for his girl,” Steve said as he took his jacket and waggled his eyebrows at Chris.
“Get out of here, the both of you.” Jensen grinned at his friends and gave them a shove towards the door.
“Alright, we’re going. Have fun, Jen.” Steve smacked Jensen on the back while Chris waved goodbye, and they left Jensen to clean up the rest of the bar, his thoughts lingering on the scent of Jared’s hair and feel of the tight muscles on his arms. Jensen sighed and couldn’t help but smile at the memory.
***
After climbing three flights of stairs, Jared felt pretty damn sober by the time he and Sandy entered his apartment, and he half wished he was as drunk as he had been while still at the Lithe, at least that way the numbing depression he felt creeping over him now wouldn’t affect him so much.
“So,” Sandy said quietly, automatically going past the counter that separated that kitchen from the living room to the fridge and retrieving two beers. “What’s with the sudden withdrawal?” Jared took the offered beer but avoided Sandy’s gaze with a shrug. “Don’t give me that Jared, what did he do?” Sandy’s voice was firm, but she slid into the seat next to him and gently placed her hand on his knee.
“He didn’t do anything,” Jared said, slightly defensive of Jensen. When Sandy frowned in confusion he elaborated. “It was Steve, or rather something he said.” Now that he thought about it, Jared felt stupid and worried that he might have overreacted.
“What did he say?” Sandy asked softly, never pushing more than necessary.
Jared took a deep breath. “He said that Jensen took advantage of his students,” Jared told her, his voice toned as if he were saying something ridiculous, but when he raised his eyes to meet Sandy’s, they were full of fear and sadness, begging her to tell him it wasn’t true. Sandy bit her lip but kept her face impassive. “He actually said that? As in, just came out with it?” she probed for a clearer image, Jared could tell she was kicking herself for not paying attention, for letting herself get wrapped up in Chris, and he felt guilty for always being the one with a crisis.
“Well, it sounded like he said it as a joke, when he found out I was in Jensen’s class.” Jared squinted a little, waiting to be told he was a fool.
“So, he could’ve just been pulling your leg?” she asked.
Jared rested his head on Sandy’s shoulder and sighed deeply. “I dunno, Sand.”
“You really like him, don’t you?” Sandy linked her fingers with Jared’s and squeezed lovingly.
“Do you?” Jared asked, suddenly looking up at her, eyes filled with hope. Jared wanted her to tell him what to do, what to feel, but knew she couldn’t and wouldn’t do that.
“I don’t really know him, Jay,” she said carefully. “From what I’ve seen, he seems like a real nice guy; and you two appeared to be having plenty of fun together. It looked like he honestly likes you,” she smiled at the memory of the two of them wrestling behind the bar.
“Yeah, that’s how it starts,” Jared said bitterly.
Quickly, Sandy took Jared’s face in her hands and made him meet her intense gaze.
“Listen, Jared. I can’t promise you that Jensen’s not that guy, that he’ll treat you right and never break your heart. But I do know that you can’t keep living in the past and assuming that’s the way it’s always gonna be.” She was half telling, half pleading with Jared.
“So you’re saying I should trust him?” Jared tried to look away, but Sandy kept her firm grip on his face.
“I’m saying that you shouldn’t jump to conclusions because of one thing Steve said. I get that you want to be cautious, and I think you’re right to be.” Jared looked lost again. “Get to know him, Jay. Be his friend.”
“I’m scared, Sand. I don’t trust…” Jared trailed off weakly.
“Jensen?”
“Me. I don’t trust myself around him. After what Steve said, and I got outside, I couldn’t breathe, you know? But then Jensen was there, and it’s like all my fears went away, and it was just him and me; that nothing else mattered. I just wanted to touch him, to kiss him, and for him to kiss me.” Jared took a deep, shaky breath. “He made me feel safe.”
“Oh, Jay.”
“I know; it’s stupid isn’t it? I mean, I’ve only known him a day.” Jared’s stomach fluttered when he remembered Jensen’s lips descending on his and absently licked his lips, just wishing he knew what their lips touching would feel like. “But the way he makes me feel, Sand. I’ve never… Not since…”
“The best advice I can give you is take it slow, and never do anything you don’t feel ready for, okay?” she told him kindly but with an authority to her voice that Jared always listened to.
Jared nodded and looked down at his unopened beer.
“You staying the night?” Jared changed the subject, feeling worn out.
“You want me too?” Sandy smiled and took Jared’s beer from him.
“Yeah, that would be good,” Jared said with slight relief that he wouldn’t be on his own tonight. He watched Sandy put the untouched beers back in the fridge and stood up to make his way to the bedroom. Inside the bedroom, Jared pulled open one of his drawers and took out a large t-shirt and left it on the end of the bed. Then he stripped down to his boxers and slipped under the covers.
The lights from the other room clicked off and Sandy came into the bedroom. Without saying a word she undressed to her underwear before pulling the t-shirt Jared supplied over her head. Jared pulled back the covers for her and Sandy snuggled up to Jared’s warmth.
“Thank you,” Jared whispered into her hair and wrapped his arms around her.
“Anytime,” Sandy murmured. “Now go to sleep.”
Smiling Jared held her tighter and let his eyes close, the image of Jensen’s lips fixed on the back of his eyelids.
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