Deadline on Love - Chapter Twelve part one
Title: Deadline on Love 12a/13
Paring: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17 overall
Artist: superfire who also jumped in at the last minute and came up with the amazing banner that I adore, thank you.
Warnings: Underage sex. Some violence. Some physical abuse. Angst. Schmoop (I think, it’s all new to me, lol)
Summary: When Jared goes on his usual summer vacation with his family to their beach house, he thinks it’s going to be the best summer ever. In some ways he’s right, in others he’s wrong. When he meets troubled youth, Jensen, his world is turned upside-down. I’ve messed with their ages. Jared is just turned 16 and Jensen is nearly 17.
Master Post
A/N: Hey. I’m so sorry for the wait for this chapter, it got really long, over 10,000 words, so I’ve posted it in two parts. Also, this chapter is un-beta’d as my beta has been unwell, so you’ll have to put up with my attempts to pick out all the mistakes. Everyone send avon_09 some loving and get well soon sweetie.
Chapter Twelve part one
He felt like he should have a cigarette as he leant against the tree and watched Jensen stare at the violent ocean. The best he could have was breathing in deeply every time Jensen took a drag of his own butt, taking it right down to the filter before stabbing it into the sand.
He wanted to go to him, to sneak between his legs and lean back against his muscled chest, but… Jared was scared. He was terrified of Jensen rejecting him; of pushing him off and saying he didn't want him there. If he did that Jared didn't know what he’d do.
And so, he watched.
By the time Jensen’s third smoke was extinguished, Jared had sunk to the ground, propped up against the harsh tree bark. He blinked his tired eyes back into focus, not wanting to lose any image of Jensen he could have, as this may be the last time he got to see him before he was taken home.
“I won't bite.”
Jared’s head shot up at Jensen’s words and his cheeks flamed. Busted. Jensen must have known he’d been there from the moment he’d arrived and was just waiting for Jared to approach, or say something, anything.
Clumsily, Jared scrambled to his feet, not willing to let the opportunity to speak to Jensen pass. He trudged across the sand and tried to figure out what he was going to say, having forgotten everything he had rehearsed on his way there.
“Hey.” Okay, so that was lame but at least it was a starting point, right?
“Hey,” Jensen replied, easy as anything and Jared hated him just a little bit for that, for his casual reply, like this wasn’t hard for him at all.
Sitting next to him but keeping a respectable distance between them, Jared glared at Jensen slightly. Come on brain, think!
“How's Megan?” Jensen asked, his eyes trained on the waves crashing near their feet.
Jared nodded, glad that Jensen had started the conversation, but wishing he would just look at him so he could get a read on what was going on in his head.
“She's okay. She had a concussion but the doctors are releasing her tonight,” Jared informed him. Urgency bubbled in his blood and he blurted, “We're going home tomorrow.”
Jensen just nodded, like he’d already known. “Probably for the best, get her home where she's comfortable.”
“For fuck's sake, Jensen, will you just look at me?” Jared begged, desperate for some kind of response, but Jensen sighed, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and lifting his lighter to spark another one up. That action in itself told Jared that Jensen was stressing a little.
In a quick move, Jared whipped his hand out and snatched the stick from Jensen’s hand, almost scorching himself on the flame.
“Hey,” Jensen protested and finally their eyes met.
“Did you hear what I said?” Jared pushed. “I'm going home tomorrow, and Mom and Dad are talking about never coming back here, about selling the house.”
Jensen’s eyes were hard and it sent a jolt of pain through Jared’s heart.
“Like I said, for the best,” Jensen said calmly before he looked away again.
It took everything Jared had not to get up and stalk away right then, to get away from the pain that was being with Jensen but not being with him. He clenched his hands into fists and sucked in a lung full of salt laden air, calming himself before he spoke again.
“Did you press charges against your mom and Eric?” he asked, having been desperate to know, praying that Jensen had done just that, and that those waste-of-space people were going to pay for what they had done.
Jensen laughed, harsh and bitter. “Not gonna happen, Jay, so don't push, okay?”
“Why not?”
“I said don't push it,” Jensen snapped, stubbornly retrieving another cigarette and turning away from Jared to light it.
“Do you want me to go?” Jared asked, dreading that he would get an affirmative for an answer. “Didn't you miss me at all?”
Jensen’s shoulders slumped, like he’d lost the energy to hold them up. “Yes, Jay, I missed you, of course I did,” Jensen said softly, defeated. “But you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be anywhere near me.”
“Why? ‘Cause you think I’m going to get hurt? News flash, Jen, being away from you hurts more than anything!”
“What do you want from me?” Jensen cried, flinging his barely touched cigarette into the ocean and watching it immediately fizzle out.
Jared’s heart clenched, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to stay with Jensen forever, to have nothing come between them ever again, but with him going home the next day he knew that wasn't going to happen.
“I want us to spend what time we have left together and fuck the world if they don’t like it,” Jared said truthfully, putting as much heart as he could behind the words. “I want us to say goodbye on our own terms and not leave everything hanging like this, just cut off like it never meant anything to begin with.”
Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, as though he could block out Jared’s words, one hand rubbing his temples and Jared had had enough. He launched himself forward, knocking Jensen onto his back so he could lean over him.
Jensen stared up at him with shocked eyes, his body frozen beneath Jared, like he was ready for an attack. Jared frowned as he took in Jensen’s face now he could see it properly. It was dusted with fresh bruises, marking up his pale features with a tale of abuse and deprivation. Jensen tried to turn his head away to avoid Jared’s knowing look, his cheeks stained red and his jaw clenched stubbornly.
“You went back there, didn't you?” Jared demanded although he already knew the answer. “Why would you do that?”
“She caught me taking food from the kitchen,” Jensen snapped. He tried to push Jared off him, but Jared just pushed all his weight onto him, holding him still. “What did you want me to do, Jay, starve?”
“No, of course not, I just don’t want you getting hurt anymore. Haven’t you been through enough?” Jared gentled his voice but Jensen’s eyes stayed hard and cold. He shoved again and this time succeeded in throwing Jared onto his back, pinning him down so he could glare into his eyes.
“It’s not like I walked in there and announced their punch bag had come home, I’m not a complete sadist,” Jensen snarled and Jared gulped, torn between his fear for Jensen and the pain of losing him and the arousal of having Jensen dominating over him, holding him down so easily and knowing he could do whatever he wanted.
“So why don’t you get away? Why don’t you report them? I’ll back you up.” Jared raised a hand to run trembling fingers over Jensen’s bruised face. “Then you won’t have to live like this anymore.”
“Yeah, so they can put me in the system and I’ll probably end up as some fat, sweaty pig’s fuck toy instead, no thanks.”
“You don’t know it’ll be like that. It could make your life so much better.”
“Look, just stop already. I know life here isn’t exactly perfect but at least I know what to expect. I have a small semblance of freedom, I can pretty much come and go as I please if I’m quiet and if things get bad I just stay away for a couple of days until everything cools down again.”
“Jen,” Jared sobbed his name. “I love you. I can’t stand knowing that you’re going to be going through this while there’s no one here for you. I wish I could stay with you.”
Jensen’s eyes softened. He leant on one arm as he brought the other up to brush back Jared’s hair, his eyes tracing over his face. “I’m sorry, Jay, but you have to go home and live your life, be with your family.”
“So you’re just going to stay stuck here while the rest of the world goes on without you?” Jared asked, desperate for the wisdom to say the right thing. “Why do you feel like you have to punish yourself like this?”
“I don’t," Jensen protested, pushing away and sitting up again. Jared followed him up, knowing he’d hit a nerve but refusing to leave it there.
“It wasn’t your fault, Jen,” he said softly, watching Jensen bristle next to him. “Stop denying yourself a life. Kenzie wouldn’t want that for you. You can’t just stop because she’s gone.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jensen scrambled to his feet and started walking away but Jared raced right after him, following him into the trees, not letting him run away.
“Then talk to me, make me understand. Tell me you don’t think yourself to blame?”
“What else am I supposed to think? You tell me, Jay? If it wasn’t for me none of this would have happened. If it wasn’t for me, Kylie wouldn’t have killed herself and Mike wouldn’t have hated me enough to go after Kenzie, then Megan wouldn’t have gotten hurt and you wouldn’t have been shot-”
“That’s not all down to you. How can you possibly take all of that on your shoulders? You didn’t even know Kylie liked you.”
“I should have known.”
“How? Did she ever actually walk up to you and say, “Hey Jensen, I like you,”?”
Jensen shook his head vehemently. “That's not the point.”
“Yes, it’s completely the point. Kylie was depressed long before you came along. She’d lost her dad, pretty much her mom, too, so she turned her focus on someone she couldn’t have. Kylie killed herself because life screwed her over and she couldn’t handle it. No one saw the signs in time to help her. Not even Mike.”
Jared watched as Jensen stopped, considering what he was saying.
“Mike blamed you so he didn’t have to blame himself. It was pointless blaming his mom ‘cause he couldn’t hurt her anymore than she already was, so he fixated on you. When he found out you were gay it just gave him the ammo he needed to lash out.”
“But…”
“Don’t you see, Jensen? You’re not at fault, you’re a victim just as much as anyone involved in this.”
“No, you’re wrong. I have to have done something.” Jensen’s face crumpled, even though his tone was harsh.
“Why?” Jared pleaded, not understanding.
“Because things like this don’t just happen to people, there has to be a reason. I was being punished, I deserved… I was bad and I… I had to have done something ‘cause it hurt too much to all be for nothing.”
“Oh, Jen. I’m so sorry.”
Jared enveloped Jensen in his arms. As Jensen’s tears fell, the heavens opened and cried along with him. It was like a cleansing water washing everything away, all the hurt, all the pain, all the anger and helplessness. It washed over them as they held onto each other, a united front against the world.
***
As they made a dash for the screen door, Chad was already there, holding it open for them as though he had been waiting for them to come in from the rain. They were completely drenched and exhausted.
Jensen had cried for what seemed like hours, letting out everything that he’d been holding inside for the last two years and Jared had let him, listening to the half sentences he mumbled into his skin. He’d stayed clear when Jensen had screamed his anger into the trees and beat up a few trunks with fallen branches, and then been there with open arms again to catch him before he fell to the sodden ground.
Eventually, Jared had taken Jensen by the hand and led him through the trees towards the beach house. Jensen hadn’t argued apart from to hurry them up when he noticed Jared shivering as he brushed back his rain-slicked hair.
“You found him then?” Chad asked, stating the obvious. Jared sent him a small smile, transmitting his thanks for making him go after Jensen in the first place. Chad nodded, signalling the message was received. “Well, I’m glad you’re back and out of the rain, I was about to go out searching and would probably have gotten lost in all that.” He pointed to the dense thicket.
“Then we would have been out searching for you,” Jared chuckled.
“Well, now you’re here and there will be no search party of any kind and I don’t have to tell your mom that you’re out in this weather somewhere, I can go.” Chad started fishing his keys out of his pocket and Jared blanched. Chad was leaving?
“Go?” he asked with wide eyes.
“Jay-man, chill. I’m not leaving, leaving,” Chad said with a chuckle, reading Jared’s face perfectly. “Your mom called and asked me to take some things to the hospital for Megan. They left her bag behind and she doesn’t want to come home in scrubs.”
After Chad’s explanation Jared visibly relaxed a little, but there was still tension thrumming through him in terrifying anticipation of his inevitable departure.
Jared jumped when he felt Jensen’s hands on his hips. A tentative touch, like Jensen wasn’t sure if it would be well received. Jared sighed and leaned into him, closing his eyes when Jensen’s hands slid round his belly, pulling him close to his body.
Chad smirked, eyeing the pair. “So, I’m gonna go and you two can… well I’ll let you figure that out, you know that mechanics better than I do.”
“Chad!” Jared exclaimed, gawking at his friend who laughed manically and darted out the door, a wave to see him go.
Even when they heard Chad’s car pulling away, Jared and Jensen stayed still, breathing each other in and just enjoying being close. Jared knew it was bound to end, but that didn’t mean it had to happen now.
Unfortunately, that’s when his body decided to remind him that he was still drenched and cold, shivering violently to get his attention.
“Come on,” Jensen murmured softly, pulling his hands back but keeping them on Jared’s hips. “Let’s get you dry and warmed up.”
Jared let Jensen guide him forwards into the bathroom where he snagged a towel and ran it through his long, dripping hair. In the mirror he could see Jensen doing the same but couldn’t force himself to turn and face him.
He tore his eyes away, blocking out the sight of the thing he wanted most in the world and couldn’t have. He glared at the sink as though it was all the porcelain bowl’s fault and he promised it pain for being so cruel.
“You were right, you know?” Jensen said softly, his voice near to Jared’s ear. Jared shuddered, feeling the closeness of Jensen at his back, there, but not touching.
“About what?” Jared asked, eye fixed on the stylish taps as his breathing picked up.
“About us making the most of the time we have left,” Jensen explained, shifting closer.
Jared’s eyes fell closed so he could concentrate solely on the feel of Jensen’s lips brushing over the skin of his neck. His breath stuttered, he tipped his head to the side and kept his eyes squeezed shut as his hands gripped painfully at the sink.
“I’m sorry, Jay,” Jensen whispered against his skin, pressing up close behind him, fusing their bodies together. “I freaked out and I’m sorry.”
“I should have come found you sooner,” Jared confessed. “I shouldn’t have left you out there on your own.”
“I would have sent you away,” Jensen told him, shaking his head against Jared’s shoulder. “I wasn’t ready to see you, I didn’t want to face everything and I knew if I saw you I would have to.”
“I love you,” Jared said, holding his breath as he waited for Jensen’s reply, needing to hear it, needing to know it was still true.
“I love you, too,” Jensen promised and Jared let out a shaky breath. “I never stopped. Jay, when I heard that gun go off I thought he’d killed you, I thought you were gone and…” Jensen’s hands slipped under Jared’s waterlogged hoodie, one hand finding the healing scab from the bullet wound. Jensen pressed his face into Jared’s neck, breathing heavily. “I would have killed him, if you were… I would have…”
“Shh.” Jared turned his head, pressing his forehead into Jensen’s temple.
“He took everything from me,” Jensen sobbed, hands holding harder onto Jared, running over his wet flesh under his hoodie. “He ruined my life.”
“I know,” Jared agreed. He wanted to say that Jensen still had him, that he wasn’t alone, but after today that would be exactly the case and Jared couldn’t stand thinking about it, it hurt too much. “Jen.”
Jensen nudged Jared’s chin with is head, turning it to expose his neck and Jensen didn’t waste anytime sucking onto the skin. Jared moaned, turning his head more and pressing back into Jensen.
Jensen’s hands ran over Jared’s body, making Jared flinched as they flicked across his erect and sensitive nipples. Mouth open, breath coming in gasps, Jared dropped his head back against Jensen’s shoulder and lifted a hand to slip his fingers through Jensen’s hair, gripping tightly.
Jensen forced Jared forward, pushing him into the sink and grinding his erection into his ass. Jared had to drop his hand to catch himself, rubbing back against Jensen wantonly; unashamed at how much he was a slave to Jensen.
Jensen’s mouth - that was still working on Jared’s neck - was suddenly pulled away and hands were roughly forcing Jared’s hoodie up.
“Get this off,” Jensen growled, trying to get the heavy, wet fabric to cooperate.
Jared helped, taking over as Jensen spun him round, bringing their groins together, and sparking a fire like two flints struck against one another.
Jensen caught Jared’s arm before they could be free of his sleeves, trapping them behind his back, bound by the wet hoodie. All movement stopped as they stared at each other, panting with their insistent need.
With a slow roll of his hips, Jensen had Jared groaning, but he didn’t close his eyes, choosing to focus completely on Jensen, who slowly leaned forward, breathing over Jared’s lips. At the same time he held Jared back by pulling on his restrained arms and all Jared could do was wait, which he did without argument.
A spark lit Jensen’s eyes at Jared’s submission and a smile tipped the corners of his mouth up, but finally he relented and kissed Jared.
Their lips met and Jared sighed happily, letting Jensen move against him, closed-mouthed kisses showered upon his lips. Jensen’s hips continued to tease him, stimulating him with maddening precision. Jared tried to move his head forward but Jensen pulled harder on his arms, halting the move.
A whine left Jared’s lips, he wanted more. He wanted Jensen to lick his mouth open, to kiss him so deeply he got lost, but Jensen’s lips were pulling away, kissing lightly over his skin, down his neck and over his bared collarbone.
“Jen,” Jared complained, tugging a little on his arms. He wanted to touch Jensen, to get that jacket off him and expose some of that delicious skin. Jensen made a noise to indicate he was listening as he pulled Jared’s arm, making him lean back over the sink slightly, knocking him off balance. “Kiss me?” Jared begged.
Jensen looked up, his eyes glowing with mischief. “Okay,” he agreed, but that smirk told Jared that Jensen was playing his own game.
Jensen dropped to his knees, leaving one hand on Jared’s arms and using the other to undo Jared’s jeans, getting them open quickly and yanking them down. Jared gasped as his cock was exposed to the air suddenly, but only for a second before it was engulfed in the scorching heat of Jensen’s mouth.
“Fuck,” Jared cried, bucking his hips, forcing his cock further into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen took it, swallowing around him and humming happily. His eyes trailed up Jared’s body and glistened wickedly. “You’re evil,” Jared stated through a breath.
Jensen pulled off with a pop and Jared whined in protest. “You didn’t say where I had to kiss you,” Jensen informed him, licking a long swipe up Jared’s cock to kiss lightly on the head, and giving Jared a smug smile. “Did you want me to stop?”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Jared screeched, wishing he had his hands free so he could push Jensen’s head back to where he wanted it most.
“Didn’t think so,” Jensen muttered and went back to work.
He sucked Jared hard, taking him impossibly deep, so deep Jared swore he should be gagging. Then all thoughts flew from his mind as he felt Jensen’s finger slip between the cheeks of his ass and finding his quivering hole as though it had been sending out a homing signal.
Instinctively, Jared spread his legs further, as far as his jeans would let him before they snagged on his thighs. Jensen hummed in thanks, sending shockwaves through Jared’s dick, and pushed a single finger inside Jared’s body. It was already lubed and Jared marvelled, yet again, at Jensen ability to do that, to have everything prepared without Jared having a clue it was happening.
Jared fought to keep his eyes open, he wanted to watch Jensen’s lips stretch over him; he wanted it borne into his mind so he would never forget it.
Suddenly, Jensen was pulling off and staggering to his feet. He pulled his finger free of Jared’s body with surprising care as his mouth attacked Jared’s, sharing the taste of pre-cum from tongue to tongue.
As soon as Jensen released his hold on Jared’s arms, Jared fought to get them free from his hoodie. Jensen helped, yanking the materiel away and lobbing it out he bathroom door.
Jared wasted no time in getting his hands on Jensen, forcing his jacket off his shoulders and hearing it thud to the tiled floor. Then he started on his jeans, practically ripping the button open, but taking care with the zipper so it didn’t catch.
“Want you, Jay,” Jensen growled into his mouth, barely taking the time to stop kissing him to speak. “Fucking need you.”
“Yeah,” Jared agreed as he drove his hand into Jensen pants, wrapping his fingers around his cock.
Jensen yelped and caught Jared’s hand, carefully pulling it from his jeans. Jared recoiled, blinking at Jensen nervously, wondering what the hell he’d done wrong.
“Your fingers are fucking freezing,” Jensen told him with a shiver.
Despite how cold he was, Jared felt heat bloom over his face and he lowered his head, completely embarrassed. He resisted when he felt a gentle finger try to push his head up, but when he heard Jensen softly call his name he lifted his eyes slowly.
Jensen smiled at him, cocking his head to the side in that way that always made Jared melt. “Let’s get you warmed up, huh?” Jensen suggested and Jared felt a touch of disappointment and hated himself for ruining the moment.
Jensen leant away slightly. Jared frowned, but then realised what he was doing. Jensen grinned at him as pushed open the glass door so he could turned the hot water on in the shower.
“Get undressed,” Jensen told him and Jared jumped to comply, pulling himself free of everything as fast as he could. Jensen fiddled with the taps for a moment and as soon as he was satisfied, he pulled his tee over his head and pushed his jeans off his hips.
Jared openly gazed at him; licking his lips and feeling his heart speed up at the prospect of touching that body and couldn’t stop his hands from running over Jensen’s chest, up over his shoulders.
Shivering, Jensen laughed, but he didn’t remove Jared’s hands. “Jesus, do you like, repel heat?” he asked, taking Jared by the waist and guiding him round so Jensen was backing him into the shower.
“I don’t think so, I mean you’re pretty damn hot and I don’t repel you,” Jared said smartly and Jensen’s jaw dropped open. Jared chuckled as he stepped under the hot water, relishing the way it warmed him immediately.
“That mouth,” Jensen muttered, shaking his head with a grin and advancing on Jared, backing him up against the wall of the shower. Jared beamed, waiting until Jensen had closed the shower door, enclosing them together as steam began to wrap around their naked bodies.
Jensen’s smiled lazily as he crowded up against Jared, pressing them skin to skin. Jared basked in the sensation of their slick bodies sliding against one another as Jensen closed in for a kiss.
Jared opened up willingly, letting Jensen’s tongue into his mouth and meeting it with his own, the two strong, wet muscles caressing in a sloppy dance. Jared’s eyes closed, concentrating on Jensen’s hands roaming over him.
When Jensen gripped the back of Jared’s thigh and tugged gently, Jared got the message and lifted it from the shower floor, letting Jensen fit it over his hip, snug to his body. This way Jensen could move in near, their bodies fitting together perfectly, as close as could be.
It should have been hard, balancing on one leg, but with Jensen pressing into him and his back flush against the warming tiles, Jared didn’t have a problem and was free to tip his head back and enjoy Jensen kissing his way down his neck, nipping at the skin with his teeth.
Already severely turned on, Jared was panting by now, rolling his hips against Jensen in an attempt to get more friction where their erections were rubbing against one another. Jared ran his hands through the water cascading down Jensen’s body, feeling the way his fingers broke the flow, denying the water it’s free rein over Jensen’s skin.
The hand on Jared’s thigh began to slip back and Jared found himself tensing in anticipation. Jensen didn’t waste any time slipping between his ass cheeks and diving right into Jared’s body, two slicked fingers going right for the sweet spot and hitting it with eerie precision.
“Ah,” Jared cried out, bucking as though trying to get away only to push back for more a second later. He clung to Jensen to keep upright on his one leg and Jensen easily kept him steady.
“I wanted to take my time,” Jensen panted into Jared’s neck, licking the water off his skin, all the way up to take Jared’s earlobe between his teeth. “But I don’t know how much longer I can hold back. God, the sounds you make, Jay, do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”
“Don’t wait. Fuck, Jen, please don’t wait,” Jared begged unashamedly. He turned his head and nudge Jensen’s until he could find his lips.
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Jensen murmured between kisses, sucking the water from Jared’s lips, over his face and back to his mouth, like he couldn’t get enough and wanted to taste everywhere at once.
“I like it,” Jared protested, whining as Jensen pressed another finger quickly into his body. “I love feeling you.”
Jensen groaned, giving his fingers a couple of quick pushes, flexing them and twisted, getting Jared as ready as possible in the few seconds he could hold out before he was pulling out and letting Jared’s leg drop down.
Stepping back slightly, Jensen gave Jared a wonderful view of his body, his shining wet skin obscured by the steam filling the air between them, making it feel like they were further apart than they were. Although the view was nice, Jared didn’t like it, he hated when there was space between them, if he could he would be constantly touching Jensen.
It only took a second for Jensen to return, holding a square foil wrapper up between them and cocking his head to the side, smirking at Jared.
“Go on,” he said quietly but Jared heard him, even over the pounding of the shower. He thought he would be able to pick out Jensen’s voice in the rowdiest of crowds.
Jared smiled, feeling the water slip past his lips and wander through the gaps in his teeth. He took the condom and used his teeth to get it open. Then he let his eyes travel down Jensen’s body, taking in the tight nipples, the fading bruises, and the thin trail of hair that led to his prize.
With one quick glance up into Jensen’s eyes, Jared dropped to his knees and licked up Jensen’s cock, quickly taking it into his mouth and sucking, wanting to get a taste before Jensen pulled him off.
“Oh fuck, Jay,” Jensen cursed, his hands coming to grip Jared’s hair, but he didn’t force him away like Jared thought he was going to, instead he ran his thumbs over Jared’s cheeks and thrust his hips a little.
Jared moaned at the though of Jensen using his mouth, of just thrusting away and making Jared take it. He held himself still and looked up at Jensen, blinking the water from his eye so that he could make his thoughts perfectly clear.
When Jensen met his eyes, Jared could see him gulp and lick his lips, his breath picking up a little by the way his chest rose faster than before. Then Jensen’s hands gripped firmer on his head, holding him in position. Jensen paused for a second, seemingly uncertain, but when Jared whined passed his mouthful, Jensen pushed, sliding his dick into Jared’s mouth just a little way before pulling back again.
Jared hummed happily, keeping his eyes locked with Jensen’s hooded ones. He tried to get his tongue to work too, curling it around Jensen’s cock while trying to keep his teeth from hurting him and sucking too. It wasn’t easy and Jared knew he needed more practice but he was perfectly happy to put Jensen’s cock in his mouth any time to gain more experience.
The thought made Jared falter for a second, his eyes falling away from Jensen’s; he wouldn’t get to have this again, not after today. It made him angry and he pushed it away, returning to his task and sucking harder, pulling a loud moan from his boyfriend. If their time was running out then he’d do exactly what they’d planned and make the most of every single fucking second.
Jensen kept his trusts shallow, not forcing himself into Jared’s throat and Jared could feel him shaking with the effort of holding back. He wished he could let Jensen go wild, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it and loved Jensen for taking care of him, even now.
Jensen’s grip in his hair tightened and then Jensen was pulling him back. Jared didn’t protest, wanting more, now, needing Jensen inside him. Without a word, Jared took the condom out of the open wrapper and slipped it over Jensen’s cock. When it was rolled all the way down he closed his mouth around him again, just for a moment, before giving a parting suck and climbing to his feet.
He didn’t have time to think on anything for as soon as he was up, Jensen was on him, licking the taste of himself from Jared’s mouth and pushing him back against the shower wall. The kiss was frantic, with an air of urgency that was mirrored on both sides.
“When we first met,” Jensen shocked Jared by speaking as he gently, but quickly, turned him to face the tiles and guided his legs apart, “I asked you how long I had you for.” Jared listened, leaning his temple against the wall and seeing that day in his mind; Jensen leaning over him, their lips so close. Jared had so wanted Jensen to kiss him that day but hadn’t had the courage to make the move himself.
“I thought that a whole summer would be enough,” Jensen continued to speak as his body moved in behind Jared, chest to back, and his dick nudged at Jared’s opening. “But it’s not.” Jensen touched his forehead to Jared’s temple and whispered to him. “It’s not nearly enough, Jay.”
Then he pushed, moving passed the tight ring of Jared’s ass and right in until he was fully sheathed. Jared cried out at the suddenness of it, not expecting Jensen to enter him in one go like that. His hands scrambled for some kind of purchase on the wall, finding none, he was completely at Jensen’s mercy, and he fucking loved it.
He squeezed his eyes shut and panted through the pain, willing his body to relax and adjust to being so full. He was grateful that Jensen was still, his hand rubbing gently over his hips and sides.
“Okay?” Jensen murmured, laying soft kisses on Jared’s face, a hint of worry in his voice.
“Fuck yeah,” Jared confirmed, already pushing back against Jensen, impatient to feel him move inside him, wanting to feel the ache, wanting to be able to take it with him.
Jensen complied, starting slow but moving firmly as he pushed into Jared again, as deep as he could go.
“It’s never going to be enough, Jay,” Jensen told him, gripping his hips firmly to keep him in place and thrusting harder, pressing Jared into the wall with every one. “The thought of you going home, forgetting me, finding someone else…”
“Jen, no,” Jared started, but what could he really say? That he would never be with someone else? Okay so right now he couldn’t see it, made him sick to even think about it, and he couldn’t bare the thought of Jensen being with another guy. He gritted his teeth and pushed his ass back into Jensen, making him go even deeper.
“I can’t stand it,” Jensen told him. One hand came around, sliding over Jared’s body to grasp possessively around his chest, holding him so close, like Jensen never wanted to let go and Jared prayed he never would, would never have to. “The idea that one day you’ll be doing this with someone else, someone who’s not me.” Jensen’s thrust harder, faster, forcing moan after moan from Jared.
“You can’t, Jay, you’re mine. I don’t want to let you go, I don’t know if I can.” Jared could feel tears in his eyes and was grateful for the water there to disguise them. “I want to keep you, I should be able to keep you, you’re mine, you’re fucking mine.”
“I’m yours,” Jared agreed, his voice coming out as more of a sob. “I’m your, Jen. Always be yours.”
“Damn fucking right you are,” Jensen growled possessively, right before he bit down on Jared’s neck, marking him, staking his claim.
The bite was vicious and so fucking perfect, Jared almost came from it. He tipped his head to the side, allowing Jensen to suck and bite at him, leaving what he knew as going to be a dark bruise on his skin and Jared couldn’t wait to see it, to run his fingers over it, to feel the ache and know that Jensen had been there, know who he belonged to.
Jensen’s hand sneaked down, running a flat palm over Jared’s thighs, light fingers trailing up the inside of his leg to cup his balls, rolling them gently in his hand.
“I love you,” Jensen whispered as his hand curled around Jared’s cock, moving in time with his steady thrusts. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
The chant continued, just above a breath, right in Jared’s ear. The rhythm of the words matching the movement of their bodies as Jensen hit that sweet spot inside and his hand worked him higher still.
Jared’s head was swimming, sensations clouding his mind so it was all feelings and the mantra of Jensen’s voice, like a whispered prayer just for Jared. This was their moment, no one would ever know if it, how intimate it was, how much passion and love went between them, and how they belonged to each other in a way that caged their hearts to everyone else in the world.
“I love you,” Jared joined in the prayer, swearing himself to Jensen forever and wishing it could all be true. “I love you.”
He wouldn’t allow his heart to break, not yet. As long as he still had Jensen there with him his heart would be whole, but he knew that as soon as they were separated that it would shatter and he wasn’t sure anyone other than Jensen would ever be able to fix it.
Jensen worked harder, moving faster until Jared couldn’t hold back anymore and exploded over his hand, spraying the tiles with his release.
“Ah,” Jensen grunted behind him, thrust his hips again and again, until finally he stilled, shaking hard against Jared’s back and holding them together, joined, united.
Jared panted against the wall, the room suddenly so silent apart from the water still pounding their sensitive skin. Suddenly, Jensen was moving, removing himself from inside Jared, and causing him to whimper. Jared’s legs gave out and he expected Jensen to catch him like he always did, but Jensen didn’t catch him, instead they crumple to the floor together, Jensen holding Jared against him as they curled up under the warm spray.
Neither spoke, they just slowly ran their hands over wet skin, memorising every inch they could reach without having to separate. All too soon the water started turning cold and Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes. They both knew they had to move, that the water would soon be freezing, but neither wanted to make that first move to break away.
Slowly, Jensen took Jared’s hand and squeezed, making sure they were still joined in some way as he gradually helped Jared to his feet. Jared’s muscles protested at the move, stretching out as his bones clicked.
There were no smiles as Jensen led Jared out of the shower, turning the water off as they went. He took a towel and used it on Jared’s hair, gently rubbing the droplets of water away before he started on Jared’s body. He was meticulous in his work, eyes following the trail of the towel as it ran over his boyfriend’s skin.
Jared watched, never taking his eyes off Jensen and when he was mostly dry, he took the towel from Jensen’s hands and proceeded to give him the same treatment, taking his time to caress every part of Jensen’s skin, wiping away the water.
When they were done, Jensen took Jared’s hand again and led him into the bedroom. Jared idly wondered if his parents were back yet, but a glance at the clock told him they would be out for another few hours.
Not releasing Jensen’s hand, Jared opened his draw and pulled out a couple of pairs of board shorts. Jensen didn’t argue or pull a face; he simply took the black pair and slipped them on. Their hands were separated for only a couple of seconds and then they were together again, Jensen taking Jared over to the bed.
They lay down, eyes gazing into each others and Jared thought he was going to cry. Jensen’s ability to give him exactly what he needed when he needed it would always marvel him, that Jensen could be tender and careful or rough and possessive, and Jared never had to tell him, he just always knew.
Jared felt his eyes closing as Jensen’s fingers brushed over his face, guiding wet bangs off his forehead. The last thing Jared felt was Jensen’s lips, pressing a tender kiss to his lips and then he was asleep, curled up with his boyfriend, his lover, the person he belonged to.
Chapter Twelve part two
Paring: Jensen/Jared
Rating: NC-17 overall
Artist: superfire who also jumped in at the last minute and came up with the amazing banner that I adore, thank you.
Warnings: Underage sex. Some violence. Some physical abuse. Angst. Schmoop (I think, it’s all new to me, lol)
Summary: When Jared goes on his usual summer vacation with his family to their beach house, he thinks it’s going to be the best summer ever. In some ways he’s right, in others he’s wrong. When he meets troubled youth, Jensen, his world is turned upside-down. I’ve messed with their ages. Jared is just turned 16 and Jensen is nearly 17.
Master Post
A/N: Hey. I’m so sorry for the wait for this chapter, it got really long, over 10,000 words, so I’ve posted it in two parts. Also, this chapter is un-beta’d as my beta has been unwell, so you’ll have to put up with my attempts to pick out all the mistakes. Everyone send avon_09 some loving and get well soon sweetie.
Chapter Twelve part one
He felt like he should have a cigarette as he leant against the tree and watched Jensen stare at the violent ocean. The best he could have was breathing in deeply every time Jensen took a drag of his own butt, taking it right down to the filter before stabbing it into the sand.
He wanted to go to him, to sneak between his legs and lean back against his muscled chest, but… Jared was scared. He was terrified of Jensen rejecting him; of pushing him off and saying he didn't want him there. If he did that Jared didn't know what he’d do.
And so, he watched.
By the time Jensen’s third smoke was extinguished, Jared had sunk to the ground, propped up against the harsh tree bark. He blinked his tired eyes back into focus, not wanting to lose any image of Jensen he could have, as this may be the last time he got to see him before he was taken home.
“I won't bite.”
Jared’s head shot up at Jensen’s words and his cheeks flamed. Busted. Jensen must have known he’d been there from the moment he’d arrived and was just waiting for Jared to approach, or say something, anything.
Clumsily, Jared scrambled to his feet, not willing to let the opportunity to speak to Jensen pass. He trudged across the sand and tried to figure out what he was going to say, having forgotten everything he had rehearsed on his way there.
“Hey.” Okay, so that was lame but at least it was a starting point, right?
“Hey,” Jensen replied, easy as anything and Jared hated him just a little bit for that, for his casual reply, like this wasn’t hard for him at all.
Sitting next to him but keeping a respectable distance between them, Jared glared at Jensen slightly. Come on brain, think!
“How's Megan?” Jensen asked, his eyes trained on the waves crashing near their feet.
Jared nodded, glad that Jensen had started the conversation, but wishing he would just look at him so he could get a read on what was going on in his head.
“She's okay. She had a concussion but the doctors are releasing her tonight,” Jared informed him. Urgency bubbled in his blood and he blurted, “We're going home tomorrow.”
Jensen just nodded, like he’d already known. “Probably for the best, get her home where she's comfortable.”
“For fuck's sake, Jensen, will you just look at me?” Jared begged, desperate for some kind of response, but Jensen sighed, pulling his cigarettes from his pocket and lifting his lighter to spark another one up. That action in itself told Jared that Jensen was stressing a little.
In a quick move, Jared whipped his hand out and snatched the stick from Jensen’s hand, almost scorching himself on the flame.
“Hey,” Jensen protested and finally their eyes met.
“Did you hear what I said?” Jared pushed. “I'm going home tomorrow, and Mom and Dad are talking about never coming back here, about selling the house.”
Jensen’s eyes were hard and it sent a jolt of pain through Jared’s heart.
“Like I said, for the best,” Jensen said calmly before he looked away again.
It took everything Jared had not to get up and stalk away right then, to get away from the pain that was being with Jensen but not being with him. He clenched his hands into fists and sucked in a lung full of salt laden air, calming himself before he spoke again.
“Did you press charges against your mom and Eric?” he asked, having been desperate to know, praying that Jensen had done just that, and that those waste-of-space people were going to pay for what they had done.
Jensen laughed, harsh and bitter. “Not gonna happen, Jay, so don't push, okay?”
“Why not?”
“I said don't push it,” Jensen snapped, stubbornly retrieving another cigarette and turning away from Jared to light it.
“Do you want me to go?” Jared asked, dreading that he would get an affirmative for an answer. “Didn't you miss me at all?”
Jensen’s shoulders slumped, like he’d lost the energy to hold them up. “Yes, Jay, I missed you, of course I did,” Jensen said softly, defeated. “But you shouldn’t be here, you shouldn’t be anywhere near me.”
“Why? ‘Cause you think I’m going to get hurt? News flash, Jen, being away from you hurts more than anything!”
“What do you want from me?” Jensen cried, flinging his barely touched cigarette into the ocean and watching it immediately fizzle out.
Jared’s heart clenched, he knew what he wanted. He wanted to stay with Jensen forever, to have nothing come between them ever again, but with him going home the next day he knew that wasn't going to happen.
“I want us to spend what time we have left together and fuck the world if they don’t like it,” Jared said truthfully, putting as much heart as he could behind the words. “I want us to say goodbye on our own terms and not leave everything hanging like this, just cut off like it never meant anything to begin with.”
Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, as though he could block out Jared’s words, one hand rubbing his temples and Jared had had enough. He launched himself forward, knocking Jensen onto his back so he could lean over him.
Jensen stared up at him with shocked eyes, his body frozen beneath Jared, like he was ready for an attack. Jared frowned as he took in Jensen’s face now he could see it properly. It was dusted with fresh bruises, marking up his pale features with a tale of abuse and deprivation. Jensen tried to turn his head away to avoid Jared’s knowing look, his cheeks stained red and his jaw clenched stubbornly.
“You went back there, didn't you?” Jared demanded although he already knew the answer. “Why would you do that?”
“She caught me taking food from the kitchen,” Jensen snapped. He tried to push Jared off him, but Jared just pushed all his weight onto him, holding him still. “What did you want me to do, Jay, starve?”
“No, of course not, I just don’t want you getting hurt anymore. Haven’t you been through enough?” Jared gentled his voice but Jensen’s eyes stayed hard and cold. He shoved again and this time succeeded in throwing Jared onto his back, pinning him down so he could glare into his eyes.
“It’s not like I walked in there and announced their punch bag had come home, I’m not a complete sadist,” Jensen snarled and Jared gulped, torn between his fear for Jensen and the pain of losing him and the arousal of having Jensen dominating over him, holding him down so easily and knowing he could do whatever he wanted.
“So why don’t you get away? Why don’t you report them? I’ll back you up.” Jared raised a hand to run trembling fingers over Jensen’s bruised face. “Then you won’t have to live like this anymore.”
“Yeah, so they can put me in the system and I’ll probably end up as some fat, sweaty pig’s fuck toy instead, no thanks.”
“You don’t know it’ll be like that. It could make your life so much better.”
“Look, just stop already. I know life here isn’t exactly perfect but at least I know what to expect. I have a small semblance of freedom, I can pretty much come and go as I please if I’m quiet and if things get bad I just stay away for a couple of days until everything cools down again.”
“Jen,” Jared sobbed his name. “I love you. I can’t stand knowing that you’re going to be going through this while there’s no one here for you. I wish I could stay with you.”
Jensen’s eyes softened. He leant on one arm as he brought the other up to brush back Jared’s hair, his eyes tracing over his face. “I’m sorry, Jay, but you have to go home and live your life, be with your family.”
“So you’re just going to stay stuck here while the rest of the world goes on without you?” Jared asked, desperate for the wisdom to say the right thing. “Why do you feel like you have to punish yourself like this?”
“I don’t," Jensen protested, pushing away and sitting up again. Jared followed him up, knowing he’d hit a nerve but refusing to leave it there.
“It wasn’t your fault, Jen,” he said softly, watching Jensen bristle next to him. “Stop denying yourself a life. Kenzie wouldn’t want that for you. You can’t just stop because she’s gone.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jensen scrambled to his feet and started walking away but Jared raced right after him, following him into the trees, not letting him run away.
“Then talk to me, make me understand. Tell me you don’t think yourself to blame?”
“What else am I supposed to think? You tell me, Jay? If it wasn’t for me none of this would have happened. If it wasn’t for me, Kylie wouldn’t have killed herself and Mike wouldn’t have hated me enough to go after Kenzie, then Megan wouldn’t have gotten hurt and you wouldn’t have been shot-”
“That’s not all down to you. How can you possibly take all of that on your shoulders? You didn’t even know Kylie liked you.”
“I should have known.”
“How? Did she ever actually walk up to you and say, “Hey Jensen, I like you,”?”
Jensen shook his head vehemently. “That's not the point.”
“Yes, it’s completely the point. Kylie was depressed long before you came along. She’d lost her dad, pretty much her mom, too, so she turned her focus on someone she couldn’t have. Kylie killed herself because life screwed her over and she couldn’t handle it. No one saw the signs in time to help her. Not even Mike.”
Jared watched as Jensen stopped, considering what he was saying.
“Mike blamed you so he didn’t have to blame himself. It was pointless blaming his mom ‘cause he couldn’t hurt her anymore than she already was, so he fixated on you. When he found out you were gay it just gave him the ammo he needed to lash out.”
“But…”
“Don’t you see, Jensen? You’re not at fault, you’re a victim just as much as anyone involved in this.”
“No, you’re wrong. I have to have done something.” Jensen’s face crumpled, even though his tone was harsh.
“Why?” Jared pleaded, not understanding.
“Because things like this don’t just happen to people, there has to be a reason. I was being punished, I deserved… I was bad and I… I had to have done something ‘cause it hurt too much to all be for nothing.”
“Oh, Jen. I’m so sorry.”
Jared enveloped Jensen in his arms. As Jensen’s tears fell, the heavens opened and cried along with him. It was like a cleansing water washing everything away, all the hurt, all the pain, all the anger and helplessness. It washed over them as they held onto each other, a united front against the world.
***
As they made a dash for the screen door, Chad was already there, holding it open for them as though he had been waiting for them to come in from the rain. They were completely drenched and exhausted.
Jensen had cried for what seemed like hours, letting out everything that he’d been holding inside for the last two years and Jared had let him, listening to the half sentences he mumbled into his skin. He’d stayed clear when Jensen had screamed his anger into the trees and beat up a few trunks with fallen branches, and then been there with open arms again to catch him before he fell to the sodden ground.
Eventually, Jared had taken Jensen by the hand and led him through the trees towards the beach house. Jensen hadn’t argued apart from to hurry them up when he noticed Jared shivering as he brushed back his rain-slicked hair.
“You found him then?” Chad asked, stating the obvious. Jared sent him a small smile, transmitting his thanks for making him go after Jensen in the first place. Chad nodded, signalling the message was received. “Well, I’m glad you’re back and out of the rain, I was about to go out searching and would probably have gotten lost in all that.” He pointed to the dense thicket.
“Then we would have been out searching for you,” Jared chuckled.
“Well, now you’re here and there will be no search party of any kind and I don’t have to tell your mom that you’re out in this weather somewhere, I can go.” Chad started fishing his keys out of his pocket and Jared blanched. Chad was leaving?
“Go?” he asked with wide eyes.
“Jay-man, chill. I’m not leaving, leaving,” Chad said with a chuckle, reading Jared’s face perfectly. “Your mom called and asked me to take some things to the hospital for Megan. They left her bag behind and she doesn’t want to come home in scrubs.”
After Chad’s explanation Jared visibly relaxed a little, but there was still tension thrumming through him in terrifying anticipation of his inevitable departure.
Jared jumped when he felt Jensen’s hands on his hips. A tentative touch, like Jensen wasn’t sure if it would be well received. Jared sighed and leaned into him, closing his eyes when Jensen’s hands slid round his belly, pulling him close to his body.
Chad smirked, eyeing the pair. “So, I’m gonna go and you two can… well I’ll let you figure that out, you know that mechanics better than I do.”
“Chad!” Jared exclaimed, gawking at his friend who laughed manically and darted out the door, a wave to see him go.
Even when they heard Chad’s car pulling away, Jared and Jensen stayed still, breathing each other in and just enjoying being close. Jared knew it was bound to end, but that didn’t mean it had to happen now.
Unfortunately, that’s when his body decided to remind him that he was still drenched and cold, shivering violently to get his attention.
“Come on,” Jensen murmured softly, pulling his hands back but keeping them on Jared’s hips. “Let’s get you dry and warmed up.”
Jared let Jensen guide him forwards into the bathroom where he snagged a towel and ran it through his long, dripping hair. In the mirror he could see Jensen doing the same but couldn’t force himself to turn and face him.
He tore his eyes away, blocking out the sight of the thing he wanted most in the world and couldn’t have. He glared at the sink as though it was all the porcelain bowl’s fault and he promised it pain for being so cruel.
“You were right, you know?” Jensen said softly, his voice near to Jared’s ear. Jared shuddered, feeling the closeness of Jensen at his back, there, but not touching.
“About what?” Jared asked, eye fixed on the stylish taps as his breathing picked up.
“About us making the most of the time we have left,” Jensen explained, shifting closer.
Jared’s eyes fell closed so he could concentrate solely on the feel of Jensen’s lips brushing over the skin of his neck. His breath stuttered, he tipped his head to the side and kept his eyes squeezed shut as his hands gripped painfully at the sink.
“I’m sorry, Jay,” Jensen whispered against his skin, pressing up close behind him, fusing their bodies together. “I freaked out and I’m sorry.”
“I should have come found you sooner,” Jared confessed. “I shouldn’t have left you out there on your own.”
“I would have sent you away,” Jensen told him, shaking his head against Jared’s shoulder. “I wasn’t ready to see you, I didn’t want to face everything and I knew if I saw you I would have to.”
“I love you,” Jared said, holding his breath as he waited for Jensen’s reply, needing to hear it, needing to know it was still true.
“I love you, too,” Jensen promised and Jared let out a shaky breath. “I never stopped. Jay, when I heard that gun go off I thought he’d killed you, I thought you were gone and…” Jensen’s hands slipped under Jared’s waterlogged hoodie, one hand finding the healing scab from the bullet wound. Jensen pressed his face into Jared’s neck, breathing heavily. “I would have killed him, if you were… I would have…”
“Shh.” Jared turned his head, pressing his forehead into Jensen’s temple.
“He took everything from me,” Jensen sobbed, hands holding harder onto Jared, running over his wet flesh under his hoodie. “He ruined my life.”
“I know,” Jared agreed. He wanted to say that Jensen still had him, that he wasn’t alone, but after today that would be exactly the case and Jared couldn’t stand thinking about it, it hurt too much. “Jen.”
Jensen nudged Jared’s chin with is head, turning it to expose his neck and Jensen didn’t waste anytime sucking onto the skin. Jared moaned, turning his head more and pressing back into Jensen.
Jensen’s hands ran over Jared’s body, making Jared flinched as they flicked across his erect and sensitive nipples. Mouth open, breath coming in gasps, Jared dropped his head back against Jensen’s shoulder and lifted a hand to slip his fingers through Jensen’s hair, gripping tightly.
Jensen forced Jared forward, pushing him into the sink and grinding his erection into his ass. Jared had to drop his hand to catch himself, rubbing back against Jensen wantonly; unashamed at how much he was a slave to Jensen.
Jensen’s mouth - that was still working on Jared’s neck - was suddenly pulled away and hands were roughly forcing Jared’s hoodie up.
“Get this off,” Jensen growled, trying to get the heavy, wet fabric to cooperate.
Jared helped, taking over as Jensen spun him round, bringing their groins together, and sparking a fire like two flints struck against one another.
Jensen caught Jared’s arm before they could be free of his sleeves, trapping them behind his back, bound by the wet hoodie. All movement stopped as they stared at each other, panting with their insistent need.
With a slow roll of his hips, Jensen had Jared groaning, but he didn’t close his eyes, choosing to focus completely on Jensen, who slowly leaned forward, breathing over Jared’s lips. At the same time he held Jared back by pulling on his restrained arms and all Jared could do was wait, which he did without argument.
A spark lit Jensen’s eyes at Jared’s submission and a smile tipped the corners of his mouth up, but finally he relented and kissed Jared.
Their lips met and Jared sighed happily, letting Jensen move against him, closed-mouthed kisses showered upon his lips. Jensen’s hips continued to tease him, stimulating him with maddening precision. Jared tried to move his head forward but Jensen pulled harder on his arms, halting the move.
A whine left Jared’s lips, he wanted more. He wanted Jensen to lick his mouth open, to kiss him so deeply he got lost, but Jensen’s lips were pulling away, kissing lightly over his skin, down his neck and over his bared collarbone.
“Jen,” Jared complained, tugging a little on his arms. He wanted to touch Jensen, to get that jacket off him and expose some of that delicious skin. Jensen made a noise to indicate he was listening as he pulled Jared’s arm, making him lean back over the sink slightly, knocking him off balance. “Kiss me?” Jared begged.
Jensen looked up, his eyes glowing with mischief. “Okay,” he agreed, but that smirk told Jared that Jensen was playing his own game.
Jensen dropped to his knees, leaving one hand on Jared’s arms and using the other to undo Jared’s jeans, getting them open quickly and yanking them down. Jared gasped as his cock was exposed to the air suddenly, but only for a second before it was engulfed in the scorching heat of Jensen’s mouth.
“Fuck,” Jared cried, bucking his hips, forcing his cock further into Jensen’s mouth. Jensen took it, swallowing around him and humming happily. His eyes trailed up Jared’s body and glistened wickedly. “You’re evil,” Jared stated through a breath.
Jensen pulled off with a pop and Jared whined in protest. “You didn’t say where I had to kiss you,” Jensen informed him, licking a long swipe up Jared’s cock to kiss lightly on the head, and giving Jared a smug smile. “Did you want me to stop?”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Jared screeched, wishing he had his hands free so he could push Jensen’s head back to where he wanted it most.
“Didn’t think so,” Jensen muttered and went back to work.
He sucked Jared hard, taking him impossibly deep, so deep Jared swore he should be gagging. Then all thoughts flew from his mind as he felt Jensen’s finger slip between the cheeks of his ass and finding his quivering hole as though it had been sending out a homing signal.
Instinctively, Jared spread his legs further, as far as his jeans would let him before they snagged on his thighs. Jensen hummed in thanks, sending shockwaves through Jared’s dick, and pushed a single finger inside Jared’s body. It was already lubed and Jared marvelled, yet again, at Jensen ability to do that, to have everything prepared without Jared having a clue it was happening.
Jared fought to keep his eyes open, he wanted to watch Jensen’s lips stretch over him; he wanted it borne into his mind so he would never forget it.
Suddenly, Jensen was pulling off and staggering to his feet. He pulled his finger free of Jared’s body with surprising care as his mouth attacked Jared’s, sharing the taste of pre-cum from tongue to tongue.
As soon as Jensen released his hold on Jared’s arms, Jared fought to get them free from his hoodie. Jensen helped, yanking the materiel away and lobbing it out he bathroom door.
Jared wasted no time in getting his hands on Jensen, forcing his jacket off his shoulders and hearing it thud to the tiled floor. Then he started on his jeans, practically ripping the button open, but taking care with the zipper so it didn’t catch.
“Want you, Jay,” Jensen growled into his mouth, barely taking the time to stop kissing him to speak. “Fucking need you.”
“Yeah,” Jared agreed as he drove his hand into Jensen pants, wrapping his fingers around his cock.
Jensen yelped and caught Jared’s hand, carefully pulling it from his jeans. Jared recoiled, blinking at Jensen nervously, wondering what the hell he’d done wrong.
“Your fingers are fucking freezing,” Jensen told him with a shiver.
Despite how cold he was, Jared felt heat bloom over his face and he lowered his head, completely embarrassed. He resisted when he felt a gentle finger try to push his head up, but when he heard Jensen softly call his name he lifted his eyes slowly.
Jensen smiled at him, cocking his head to the side in that way that always made Jared melt. “Let’s get you warmed up, huh?” Jensen suggested and Jared felt a touch of disappointment and hated himself for ruining the moment.
Jensen leant away slightly. Jared frowned, but then realised what he was doing. Jensen grinned at him as pushed open the glass door so he could turned the hot water on in the shower.
“Get undressed,” Jensen told him and Jared jumped to comply, pulling himself free of everything as fast as he could. Jensen fiddled with the taps for a moment and as soon as he was satisfied, he pulled his tee over his head and pushed his jeans off his hips.
Jared openly gazed at him; licking his lips and feeling his heart speed up at the prospect of touching that body and couldn’t stop his hands from running over Jensen’s chest, up over his shoulders.
Shivering, Jensen laughed, but he didn’t remove Jared’s hands. “Jesus, do you like, repel heat?” he asked, taking Jared by the waist and guiding him round so Jensen was backing him into the shower.
“I don’t think so, I mean you’re pretty damn hot and I don’t repel you,” Jared said smartly and Jensen’s jaw dropped open. Jared chuckled as he stepped under the hot water, relishing the way it warmed him immediately.
“That mouth,” Jensen muttered, shaking his head with a grin and advancing on Jared, backing him up against the wall of the shower. Jared beamed, waiting until Jensen had closed the shower door, enclosing them together as steam began to wrap around their naked bodies.
Jensen’s smiled lazily as he crowded up against Jared, pressing them skin to skin. Jared basked in the sensation of their slick bodies sliding against one another as Jensen closed in for a kiss.
Jared opened up willingly, letting Jensen’s tongue into his mouth and meeting it with his own, the two strong, wet muscles caressing in a sloppy dance. Jared’s eyes closed, concentrating on Jensen’s hands roaming over him.
When Jensen gripped the back of Jared’s thigh and tugged gently, Jared got the message and lifted it from the shower floor, letting Jensen fit it over his hip, snug to his body. This way Jensen could move in near, their bodies fitting together perfectly, as close as could be.
It should have been hard, balancing on one leg, but with Jensen pressing into him and his back flush against the warming tiles, Jared didn’t have a problem and was free to tip his head back and enjoy Jensen kissing his way down his neck, nipping at the skin with his teeth.
Already severely turned on, Jared was panting by now, rolling his hips against Jensen in an attempt to get more friction where their erections were rubbing against one another. Jared ran his hands through the water cascading down Jensen’s body, feeling the way his fingers broke the flow, denying the water it’s free rein over Jensen’s skin.
The hand on Jared’s thigh began to slip back and Jared found himself tensing in anticipation. Jensen didn’t waste any time slipping between his ass cheeks and diving right into Jared’s body, two slicked fingers going right for the sweet spot and hitting it with eerie precision.
“Ah,” Jared cried out, bucking as though trying to get away only to push back for more a second later. He clung to Jensen to keep upright on his one leg and Jensen easily kept him steady.
“I wanted to take my time,” Jensen panted into Jared’s neck, licking the water off his skin, all the way up to take Jared’s earlobe between his teeth. “But I don’t know how much longer I can hold back. God, the sounds you make, Jay, do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are?”
“Don’t wait. Fuck, Jen, please don’t wait,” Jared begged unashamedly. He turned his head and nudge Jensen’s until he could find his lips.
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” Jensen murmured between kisses, sucking the water from Jared’s lips, over his face and back to his mouth, like he couldn’t get enough and wanted to taste everywhere at once.
“I like it,” Jared protested, whining as Jensen pressed another finger quickly into his body. “I love feeling you.”
Jensen groaned, giving his fingers a couple of quick pushes, flexing them and twisted, getting Jared as ready as possible in the few seconds he could hold out before he was pulling out and letting Jared’s leg drop down.
Stepping back slightly, Jensen gave Jared a wonderful view of his body, his shining wet skin obscured by the steam filling the air between them, making it feel like they were further apart than they were. Although the view was nice, Jared didn’t like it, he hated when there was space between them, if he could he would be constantly touching Jensen.
It only took a second for Jensen to return, holding a square foil wrapper up between them and cocking his head to the side, smirking at Jared.
“Go on,” he said quietly but Jared heard him, even over the pounding of the shower. He thought he would be able to pick out Jensen’s voice in the rowdiest of crowds.
Jared smiled, feeling the water slip past his lips and wander through the gaps in his teeth. He took the condom and used his teeth to get it open. Then he let his eyes travel down Jensen’s body, taking in the tight nipples, the fading bruises, and the thin trail of hair that led to his prize.
With one quick glance up into Jensen’s eyes, Jared dropped to his knees and licked up Jensen’s cock, quickly taking it into his mouth and sucking, wanting to get a taste before Jensen pulled him off.
“Oh fuck, Jay,” Jensen cursed, his hands coming to grip Jared’s hair, but he didn’t force him away like Jared thought he was going to, instead he ran his thumbs over Jared’s cheeks and thrust his hips a little.
Jared moaned at the though of Jensen using his mouth, of just thrusting away and making Jared take it. He held himself still and looked up at Jensen, blinking the water from his eye so that he could make his thoughts perfectly clear.
When Jensen met his eyes, Jared could see him gulp and lick his lips, his breath picking up a little by the way his chest rose faster than before. Then Jensen’s hands gripped firmer on his head, holding him in position. Jensen paused for a second, seemingly uncertain, but when Jared whined passed his mouthful, Jensen pushed, sliding his dick into Jared’s mouth just a little way before pulling back again.
Jared hummed happily, keeping his eyes locked with Jensen’s hooded ones. He tried to get his tongue to work too, curling it around Jensen’s cock while trying to keep his teeth from hurting him and sucking too. It wasn’t easy and Jared knew he needed more practice but he was perfectly happy to put Jensen’s cock in his mouth any time to gain more experience.
The thought made Jared falter for a second, his eyes falling away from Jensen’s; he wouldn’t get to have this again, not after today. It made him angry and he pushed it away, returning to his task and sucking harder, pulling a loud moan from his boyfriend. If their time was running out then he’d do exactly what they’d planned and make the most of every single fucking second.
Jensen kept his trusts shallow, not forcing himself into Jared’s throat and Jared could feel him shaking with the effort of holding back. He wished he could let Jensen go wild, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to take it and loved Jensen for taking care of him, even now.
Jensen’s grip in his hair tightened and then Jensen was pulling him back. Jared didn’t protest, wanting more, now, needing Jensen inside him. Without a word, Jared took the condom out of the open wrapper and slipped it over Jensen’s cock. When it was rolled all the way down he closed his mouth around him again, just for a moment, before giving a parting suck and climbing to his feet.
He didn’t have time to think on anything for as soon as he was up, Jensen was on him, licking the taste of himself from Jared’s mouth and pushing him back against the shower wall. The kiss was frantic, with an air of urgency that was mirrored on both sides.
“When we first met,” Jensen shocked Jared by speaking as he gently, but quickly, turned him to face the tiles and guided his legs apart, “I asked you how long I had you for.” Jared listened, leaning his temple against the wall and seeing that day in his mind; Jensen leaning over him, their lips so close. Jared had so wanted Jensen to kiss him that day but hadn’t had the courage to make the move himself.
“I thought that a whole summer would be enough,” Jensen continued to speak as his body moved in behind Jared, chest to back, and his dick nudged at Jared’s opening. “But it’s not.” Jensen touched his forehead to Jared’s temple and whispered to him. “It’s not nearly enough, Jay.”
Then he pushed, moving passed the tight ring of Jared’s ass and right in until he was fully sheathed. Jared cried out at the suddenness of it, not expecting Jensen to enter him in one go like that. His hands scrambled for some kind of purchase on the wall, finding none, he was completely at Jensen’s mercy, and he fucking loved it.
He squeezed his eyes shut and panted through the pain, willing his body to relax and adjust to being so full. He was grateful that Jensen was still, his hand rubbing gently over his hips and sides.
“Okay?” Jensen murmured, laying soft kisses on Jared’s face, a hint of worry in his voice.
“Fuck yeah,” Jared confirmed, already pushing back against Jensen, impatient to feel him move inside him, wanting to feel the ache, wanting to be able to take it with him.
Jensen complied, starting slow but moving firmly as he pushed into Jared again, as deep as he could go.
“It’s never going to be enough, Jay,” Jensen told him, gripping his hips firmly to keep him in place and thrusting harder, pressing Jared into the wall with every one. “The thought of you going home, forgetting me, finding someone else…”
“Jen, no,” Jared started, but what could he really say? That he would never be with someone else? Okay so right now he couldn’t see it, made him sick to even think about it, and he couldn’t bare the thought of Jensen being with another guy. He gritted his teeth and pushed his ass back into Jensen, making him go even deeper.
“I can’t stand it,” Jensen told him. One hand came around, sliding over Jared’s body to grasp possessively around his chest, holding him so close, like Jensen never wanted to let go and Jared prayed he never would, would never have to. “The idea that one day you’ll be doing this with someone else, someone who’s not me.” Jensen’s thrust harder, faster, forcing moan after moan from Jared.
“You can’t, Jay, you’re mine. I don’t want to let you go, I don’t know if I can.” Jared could feel tears in his eyes and was grateful for the water there to disguise them. “I want to keep you, I should be able to keep you, you’re mine, you’re fucking mine.”
“I’m yours,” Jared agreed, his voice coming out as more of a sob. “I’m your, Jen. Always be yours.”
“Damn fucking right you are,” Jensen growled possessively, right before he bit down on Jared’s neck, marking him, staking his claim.
The bite was vicious and so fucking perfect, Jared almost came from it. He tipped his head to the side, allowing Jensen to suck and bite at him, leaving what he knew as going to be a dark bruise on his skin and Jared couldn’t wait to see it, to run his fingers over it, to feel the ache and know that Jensen had been there, know who he belonged to.
Jensen’s hand sneaked down, running a flat palm over Jared’s thighs, light fingers trailing up the inside of his leg to cup his balls, rolling them gently in his hand.
“I love you,” Jensen whispered as his hand curled around Jared’s cock, moving in time with his steady thrusts. “I love you, I love you, I love you.”
The chant continued, just above a breath, right in Jared’s ear. The rhythm of the words matching the movement of their bodies as Jensen hit that sweet spot inside and his hand worked him higher still.
Jared’s head was swimming, sensations clouding his mind so it was all feelings and the mantra of Jensen’s voice, like a whispered prayer just for Jared. This was their moment, no one would ever know if it, how intimate it was, how much passion and love went between them, and how they belonged to each other in a way that caged their hearts to everyone else in the world.
“I love you,” Jared joined in the prayer, swearing himself to Jensen forever and wishing it could all be true. “I love you.”
He wouldn’t allow his heart to break, not yet. As long as he still had Jensen there with him his heart would be whole, but he knew that as soon as they were separated that it would shatter and he wasn’t sure anyone other than Jensen would ever be able to fix it.
Jensen worked harder, moving faster until Jared couldn’t hold back anymore and exploded over his hand, spraying the tiles with his release.
“Ah,” Jensen grunted behind him, thrust his hips again and again, until finally he stilled, shaking hard against Jared’s back and holding them together, joined, united.
Jared panted against the wall, the room suddenly so silent apart from the water still pounding their sensitive skin. Suddenly, Jensen was moving, removing himself from inside Jared, and causing him to whimper. Jared’s legs gave out and he expected Jensen to catch him like he always did, but Jensen didn’t catch him, instead they crumple to the floor together, Jensen holding Jared against him as they curled up under the warm spray.
Neither spoke, they just slowly ran their hands over wet skin, memorising every inch they could reach without having to separate. All too soon the water started turning cold and Jensen looked into Jared’s eyes. They both knew they had to move, that the water would soon be freezing, but neither wanted to make that first move to break away.
Slowly, Jensen took Jared’s hand and squeezed, making sure they were still joined in some way as he gradually helped Jared to his feet. Jared’s muscles protested at the move, stretching out as his bones clicked.
There were no smiles as Jensen led Jared out of the shower, turning the water off as they went. He took a towel and used it on Jared’s hair, gently rubbing the droplets of water away before he started on Jared’s body. He was meticulous in his work, eyes following the trail of the towel as it ran over his boyfriend’s skin.
Jared watched, never taking his eyes off Jensen and when he was mostly dry, he took the towel from Jensen’s hands and proceeded to give him the same treatment, taking his time to caress every part of Jensen’s skin, wiping away the water.
When they were done, Jensen took Jared’s hand again and led him into the bedroom. Jared idly wondered if his parents were back yet, but a glance at the clock told him they would be out for another few hours.
Not releasing Jensen’s hand, Jared opened his draw and pulled out a couple of pairs of board shorts. Jensen didn’t argue or pull a face; he simply took the black pair and slipped them on. Their hands were separated for only a couple of seconds and then they were together again, Jensen taking Jared over to the bed.
They lay down, eyes gazing into each others and Jared thought he was going to cry. Jensen’s ability to give him exactly what he needed when he needed it would always marvel him, that Jensen could be tender and careful or rough and possessive, and Jared never had to tell him, he just always knew.
Jared felt his eyes closing as Jensen’s fingers brushed over his face, guiding wet bangs off his forehead. The last thing Jared felt was Jensen’s lips, pressing a tender kiss to his lips and then he was asleep, curled up with his boyfriend, his lover, the person he belonged to.
Chapter Twelve part two