The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything (for me)
As many of my friends know, one of my guilty pleasures is in reading romance novels. It started when I was working the box office at the movie theater and had plenty of time on my hands to finish an entire novel in one day. Since then, I find that romance novels are the perfect way to reset my brain after a grueling test or paper - mindless drivel-ish fun, as it were.
So, today I was in Bartell's picking up a couple of things I needed and figured it wouldn't hurt to peruse the book racks. I often am initially drawn to my book prey via the titles and the covers. It used to be that the best romance novels had covers where the shirtless man clasped the heroine to himself. Usually both of their clothes were in some sort of disarray, hair blowing in whatever tumultuous things were going on. Often there would also be some sort of disaster scene in the background - shipwrecks, fire, death and destruction. Good stuff. Nowadays, they can be much more subtle, and there is a plethora of romance novels with plaid on the covers. But I loves me a rakish Scotsman, so, yeah. And, really, the worse the book is, the better.
Anyway, I didn't see anything good in my perusal until I turned around. There, beckoning to me was "Pirate's Promise." I approached and picked up the tome in my hand.
The open shirt, the crashing waves. The tantalizing tag of "He offers nothing but pleasure..." It seemed like I had found a good one.
But then, something struck me as...odd...not quite right. I took a closer look.
Seriously, that has to be the GOOFIEST looking hero ever put on a book cover. The deeply dimpled chin. The pseudo-stubble. The eyebrows that are threatening to meet each other in the middle. The half-grin that seems to indicate that even he thinks he looks like a fool. Where *did* his upper lip go? And is that a cell phone around his neck? This guy looks more like a low-end car salesman than a swashbuckler. I'll bet he could get you an awesome deal on that used Kia!
Ultimately, the book stayed at Bartell's...for now. After seeing that it got TWO HOLE STARS on Amazon.com, I may need to cough of the $6 plus tax and bring this literary masterpiece home.