(no subject)
A friends girlfriend today has said that she wants to kill herself but doesn't have the energy. I am reminded of me far to much for my own comfort. She wants to pound it into her head that she isn't wanted. But she is, she just has connected herself to one person so much that she can't see (or develop) any other threads to life. He at elast had friends before they met that were insistant on keeping him as a friend. It doesn't sound as if she has that. And it isnt that she isn't wanted either. It is that love is very hard to keep up at this age and especially at this distance (she across an ocean from him). Why do people tie themselves too closely to one person that they barely know? Why don't they have multitudes of friends that they can bitch to when their sig other is being odd. Or even normal. Everyone needs to have someone to rant to just to release the presure. Regardless of how perfect the sig is, there is no way that the is the only person you can have in your life. It just doesn't work.
And they are both basic depressive to begin with. It seems to me anyhow. She definately is. he, I suspect he might have the tendencies, but won't ever do anything (this is a GOOD thing). She on the other hand wants the attention of cutting on herself and saying that she is going to commite suicide. Even believing that she would. If she really wanted to die, she would. There is nothing that he or anyone else could do about it. Breaking up with her is not the thing that might kill her. Regardless of whether or not he broke up with her, this would have happened sooner or later. As it was, she had sent him a picture of her killing herself and in various states of bleeding a while back. She did have the guts to not only blame herself, but she directed it all wrong. She was saying that he deserved it. This is a valid feeling, but not a rational one. She shouldn't have sent it to him. She shouldn't have drawn it to send to him. She shouldn't make people feel that way. She is blaming herself and telling hiim that he deserves her pain. This doesn't make sense!
He will be better without her. He can grow as a person. Without others (not just one person), a person cannot find out who they are or anything. There is no self without the group.
I can only hope that she will get through it (though if she is as similar to me as it is seeming, she will be fine. It will take her a while and it might make a turn for the worse, I think she will make it. If she hasn't killed herself now, she won't). She needs psych help. She might need medication for a while. She needs to talk to people who know what they are talking about and help her figure out why she wants to hurt herself (I think it is all attention. Those who want to hurt themselve and haven't killed themselves (or have made it a point to show their scars or blood) I think are doing it for the attention).
God, I wish I didn't know these things. I wish that I hadn't gone through this shit once. I wish that .... no, I am glad it happened, at least in retrospect. My ex is alive and doing well. I am alive and doing well. I hope the same for them.
And they are both basic depressive to begin with. It seems to me anyhow. She definately is. he, I suspect he might have the tendencies, but won't ever do anything (this is a GOOD thing). She on the other hand wants the attention of cutting on herself and saying that she is going to commite suicide. Even believing that she would. If she really wanted to die, she would. There is nothing that he or anyone else could do about it. Breaking up with her is not the thing that might kill her. Regardless of whether or not he broke up with her, this would have happened sooner or later. As it was, she had sent him a picture of her killing herself and in various states of bleeding a while back. She did have the guts to not only blame herself, but she directed it all wrong. She was saying that he deserved it. This is a valid feeling, but not a rational one. She shouldn't have sent it to him. She shouldn't have drawn it to send to him. She shouldn't make people feel that way. She is blaming herself and telling hiim that he deserves her pain. This doesn't make sense!
He will be better without her. He can grow as a person. Without others (not just one person), a person cannot find out who they are or anything. There is no self without the group.
I can only hope that she will get through it (though if she is as similar to me as it is seeming, she will be fine. It will take her a while and it might make a turn for the worse, I think she will make it. If she hasn't killed herself now, she won't). She needs psych help. She might need medication for a while. She needs to talk to people who know what they are talking about and help her figure out why she wants to hurt herself (I think it is all attention. Those who want to hurt themselve and haven't killed themselves (or have made it a point to show their scars or blood) I think are doing it for the attention).
God, I wish I didn't know these things. I wish that I hadn't gone through this shit once. I wish that .... no, I am glad it happened, at least in retrospect. My ex is alive and doing well. I am alive and doing well. I hope the same for them.