Frustrated Thoughts
1) Does it ever occur to parents that their children might not want to live the way they expect them to?
2) Does it ever occur to anyone that I might not want to live the way they think I do?
1) Yes. It does. It has to, because they've gone through it too. What amazes me is their incredible ability to pay no mind to what their common sense might be telling them: that their child is better of making decisions on his or her own and that maybe parents should only interfere when their children are doing something detrimental to themselves or society. Surprisingly enough, by forcing their children to develop the way they want, they can actually arrest their child's development, causing inevitable unpreparedness for the outside world. That's the way I see it. I once told my dad that he had gone about all wrong trying to solve one of my issues, and he asked me irately what I would have done- if I could have been a better parent in that case. I told him that I wouldn't have tried to change my child as forcefully... and my dad seemed to think I was wrong because I'd just be letting my child develop all wrong.
Sometimes, letting someone develop a little crookedly is what they need. Developing crookedly is at least development, and you can always work out the kinks later. Telling someone how they need to develop and not letting the develop any other way just puts everything on hold... the person is left clueless, isolated, and throroughly frustrated by life. As soon as the enforcement keeping it surpressed is let out, the person will dart any which direction... at least going somewhere else... without taking judgement into consideration.
It all comes down to pride. Parents often see their children as their creations- which isn't untrue; however, as a person, I would like to be seen AS a person, not as a creation. I'm sure you all can relate- if you create something, you will want to shape it. It's human nature- you take pride in the fact that something is your own, and if you see that it's good, you want to show it off. You want people to compliment you for it. I mean, GOD even did it. But God at least gave people free will and left it at that. Parents tend to do everything they can to prevent that free will from becoming much different from their own wills... as it was probably done to them too.
Parents can expect things from their children, but to force those things to come into being against the child's will is to create a frustrated soul willing to deviate from all sorts of values just so they don't resemble their parents'. There are always exceptions, and sadly enough, I am not an exception.
2) If it has never occured to you, then think again. Nobody- not me, not Joe, not Pastor Brooks, not Jesus- nobody has ever unquestioningly submitted to the will of God, nobody has ever completely accepted it. I hate being looked at as a judgemental person because I'm a Christian. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, and there are several Christian values that I support, not necessarily because they're Christian values, but because I've thought through them and decided it wasn't good for me. Just because I won't participate in certain lifestyles doesn't mean I'll condemn them. Some people believe strongly in changing people because that's how they show they care- by making people better. I'm not one of them. I find out everything I can about multiple aspects of all sorts of lifestyles- if someone shows signs of wanting to change, I'll talk to them intelligently about it, and if it really is in their best interest to change, that's when I'll be more than happy to intercede. (My claims about Joe and Pastor Brooks are completely unjustified, save for the fact that they're human, and my claim about Jesus... well, Jesus himself asked God that, if there was an alternative to saving mankind rather than torturing the guy on a cross, do that instead.)
I get angry when people call me Mr. Righteous, which they do mockingly, of course. I hate that if I laugh at something that you'd probably feel uncomfortable remonstrating to old women in a sunday school class, people look at me as if I have no business laughing at the joke THEY just told. There are things that I enjoy that religious figureheads would probably disapprove of, and I have no desire to give them up. Crude humor is the primary target here- I find it odd (and extremely irritating) that I can laugh with some of my church friends about some off-color humor but in school, around the sort of people you see it coming from all the time, if I participate, they look at me and go "And I thought you were Mr. Righteous." My parents have banned Family Guy from the house because of its crude humor, they claim that it's detrimental to the "righteous and holy path" that they claim I've been walking on for God knows how long. I don't want encouragement from others- I'm fine.
I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, I believe the Bible is true. But this walk is my own, and I don't need anyone- no one from either the secular or religious world- butting in and governing how I walk it. If I want help, that's up to me to ask for it. If I want encouragement, that's up to me to ask for it. I'm tired of being judged by my actions because people have placed me on some pedestal I had no idea existed in the first place.
I recognize that I'm not a textbook example of a good Christian, and because of that, I will not walk around with some neon-sign that says "Christian" pointing to me everywhere I go. I'll plant the seeds where I can, but otherwise, I recognize that professing my faith while keeping my life the way I want right now would more harm the Christian image than help it. I've been forced into "goody-two-shoes" for a long time, and... well, it's time I stopped caring about what everyone thinks I *should* be doing and go out there and find OUT what I should be doing by trial-and-error. Is there anyone out there that can actually claim that their life was completely shaped by something other than their own independent experiences?
I've typed enough, the end.
2) Does it ever occur to anyone that I might not want to live the way they think I do?
1) Yes. It does. It has to, because they've gone through it too. What amazes me is their incredible ability to pay no mind to what their common sense might be telling them: that their child is better of making decisions on his or her own and that maybe parents should only interfere when their children are doing something detrimental to themselves or society. Surprisingly enough, by forcing their children to develop the way they want, they can actually arrest their child's development, causing inevitable unpreparedness for the outside world. That's the way I see it. I once told my dad that he had gone about all wrong trying to solve one of my issues, and he asked me irately what I would have done- if I could have been a better parent in that case. I told him that I wouldn't have tried to change my child as forcefully... and my dad seemed to think I was wrong because I'd just be letting my child develop all wrong.
Sometimes, letting someone develop a little crookedly is what they need. Developing crookedly is at least development, and you can always work out the kinks later. Telling someone how they need to develop and not letting the develop any other way just puts everything on hold... the person is left clueless, isolated, and throroughly frustrated by life. As soon as the enforcement keeping it surpressed is let out, the person will dart any which direction... at least going somewhere else... without taking judgement into consideration.
It all comes down to pride. Parents often see their children as their creations- which isn't untrue; however, as a person, I would like to be seen AS a person, not as a creation. I'm sure you all can relate- if you create something, you will want to shape it. It's human nature- you take pride in the fact that something is your own, and if you see that it's good, you want to show it off. You want people to compliment you for it. I mean, GOD even did it. But God at least gave people free will and left it at that. Parents tend to do everything they can to prevent that free will from becoming much different from their own wills... as it was probably done to them too.
Parents can expect things from their children, but to force those things to come into being against the child's will is to create a frustrated soul willing to deviate from all sorts of values just so they don't resemble their parents'. There are always exceptions, and sadly enough, I am not an exception.
2) If it has never occured to you, then think again. Nobody- not me, not Joe, not Pastor Brooks, not Jesus- nobody has ever unquestioningly submitted to the will of God, nobody has ever completely accepted it. I hate being looked at as a judgemental person because I'm a Christian. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, and there are several Christian values that I support, not necessarily because they're Christian values, but because I've thought through them and decided it wasn't good for me. Just because I won't participate in certain lifestyles doesn't mean I'll condemn them. Some people believe strongly in changing people because that's how they show they care- by making people better. I'm not one of them. I find out everything I can about multiple aspects of all sorts of lifestyles- if someone shows signs of wanting to change, I'll talk to them intelligently about it, and if it really is in their best interest to change, that's when I'll be more than happy to intercede. (My claims about Joe and Pastor Brooks are completely unjustified, save for the fact that they're human, and my claim about Jesus... well, Jesus himself asked God that, if there was an alternative to saving mankind rather than torturing the guy on a cross, do that instead.)
I get angry when people call me Mr. Righteous, which they do mockingly, of course. I hate that if I laugh at something that you'd probably feel uncomfortable remonstrating to old women in a sunday school class, people look at me as if I have no business laughing at the joke THEY just told. There are things that I enjoy that religious figureheads would probably disapprove of, and I have no desire to give them up. Crude humor is the primary target here- I find it odd (and extremely irritating) that I can laugh with some of my church friends about some off-color humor but in school, around the sort of people you see it coming from all the time, if I participate, they look at me and go "And I thought you were Mr. Righteous." My parents have banned Family Guy from the house because of its crude humor, they claim that it's detrimental to the "righteous and holy path" that they claim I've been walking on for God knows how long. I don't want encouragement from others- I'm fine.
I believe in God, I believe in Jesus, I believe the Bible is true. But this walk is my own, and I don't need anyone- no one from either the secular or religious world- butting in and governing how I walk it. If I want help, that's up to me to ask for it. If I want encouragement, that's up to me to ask for it. I'm tired of being judged by my actions because people have placed me on some pedestal I had no idea existed in the first place.
I recognize that I'm not a textbook example of a good Christian, and because of that, I will not walk around with some neon-sign that says "Christian" pointing to me everywhere I go. I'll plant the seeds where I can, but otherwise, I recognize that professing my faith while keeping my life the way I want right now would more harm the Christian image than help it. I've been forced into "goody-two-shoes" for a long time, and... well, it's time I stopped caring about what everyone thinks I *should* be doing and go out there and find OUT what I should be doing by trial-and-error. Is there anyone out there that can actually claim that their life was completely shaped by something other than their own independent experiences?
I've typed enough, the end.