Holy crap, I don't know where that came from.
Computer is back in business, thank God. I've been really busy lately, though, so it's been nice not to have it around as a distraction. I was actually able to get things done. I need to learn to have the willpower to walk away even when it does work, though. I think I'm getting that anyhow.
I've discovered something new about myself in the past few weeks. I want to submerge myself in everything theatre. I am doing a lighting design for stagecraft and I never realized how fulfilling that could be. Conceptualizing and creating, the subtleties and nuances you can create. I always wanted to be able to paint, or to draw, and I'm not the best artist, but I can do these amazing things with color when I put it in front of a light. I can create the beauty that my hand cannot draw simply by hanging a 6x9 and slipping in R51 with a Tough Frost diffusion. And I can create the breathtaking feelings that only lighting combined with scenic design and the context of a beautiful script or score can allow. It is exciting and fulfilling and I haven't even finished the project yet.
And I can pull a curtain, fasten a crosby, and lock it in 30 seconds or less, like nobody's business. Allowing actors to be seen against a theoretically beautiful Austrian Faux. (There were some technical difficulties.)
And I was unbelieveably comfortable in the booth. And looking at those boards doesn't intimidate me. It makes me want to learn how to work them. It excites me.
Painting a set piece, bracing a flat, distressing a costume, even just cutting wood.
And performing in an incredible show, or even an incredible number, one that takes people's breath away, moves them, makes them tear - creating those emotions in people through your words and actions - there is nothing like it in the world.
Creating a character, setting a scene, pulling a curtain, hanging a parnel, cueing lights and sounds. It doesn't matter what I do.
Theatre is my love, my life. I want to learn it all and do it all. I want to know how to work every board, how to build a set, how to call a show.
Looking up at your main curtain, a hideous one at that, and seeing an 8 foot tear, and feeling like someone shot your puppy. Feeling that horror that makes your heart drop, and continuing with the show, locking that curtain like no one else can, despite your shaking hands and sinking heart from the main rag tragedy. Or being sick to the point that you cannot speak, crying while you watch a stage manager change your role & costume five minutes before the last performance, and all of a sudden, your body kicks into gear, and you can speak those lines just loud enough.
That's when you know you love theatre. And that you belong there.
Not just when you do what needs to be done, what is best for the show, but when you overcome adverse situations to do it.
You could just walk alway. But you don't, because you love the theatre.
We choose long nights and early mornings. We choose ridiculous heights, heavy equipment, and difficult dialects.
We break the rules, defy gravity, push boundaries.
Actors, techies, stagehands. We're all alike. Our through-line, our tie? Our passion to create.
We're not crazy for doing what we do, we're passionate. We were born with it and cannot deny it.
We love the theatre. And we are what keeps it alive.
I've never been happier with where I'm at, and I'm glad I've stopped trying to deny it. I'm glad I can say we.
See you on another stage.
I've discovered something new about myself in the past few weeks. I want to submerge myself in everything theatre. I am doing a lighting design for stagecraft and I never realized how fulfilling that could be. Conceptualizing and creating, the subtleties and nuances you can create. I always wanted to be able to paint, or to draw, and I'm not the best artist, but I can do these amazing things with color when I put it in front of a light. I can create the beauty that my hand cannot draw simply by hanging a 6x9 and slipping in R51 with a Tough Frost diffusion. And I can create the breathtaking feelings that only lighting combined with scenic design and the context of a beautiful script or score can allow. It is exciting and fulfilling and I haven't even finished the project yet.
And I can pull a curtain, fasten a crosby, and lock it in 30 seconds or less, like nobody's business. Allowing actors to be seen against a theoretically beautiful Austrian Faux. (There were some technical difficulties.)
And I was unbelieveably comfortable in the booth. And looking at those boards doesn't intimidate me. It makes me want to learn how to work them. It excites me.
Painting a set piece, bracing a flat, distressing a costume, even just cutting wood.
And performing in an incredible show, or even an incredible number, one that takes people's breath away, moves them, makes them tear - creating those emotions in people through your words and actions - there is nothing like it in the world.
Creating a character, setting a scene, pulling a curtain, hanging a parnel, cueing lights and sounds. It doesn't matter what I do.
Theatre is my love, my life. I want to learn it all and do it all. I want to know how to work every board, how to build a set, how to call a show.
Looking up at your main curtain, a hideous one at that, and seeing an 8 foot tear, and feeling like someone shot your puppy. Feeling that horror that makes your heart drop, and continuing with the show, locking that curtain like no one else can, despite your shaking hands and sinking heart from the main rag tragedy. Or being sick to the point that you cannot speak, crying while you watch a stage manager change your role & costume five minutes before the last performance, and all of a sudden, your body kicks into gear, and you can speak those lines just loud enough.
That's when you know you love theatre. And that you belong there.
Not just when you do what needs to be done, what is best for the show, but when you overcome adverse situations to do it.
You could just walk alway. But you don't, because you love the theatre.
We choose long nights and early mornings. We choose ridiculous heights, heavy equipment, and difficult dialects.
We break the rules, defy gravity, push boundaries.
Actors, techies, stagehands. We're all alike. Our through-line, our tie? Our passion to create.
We're not crazy for doing what we do, we're passionate. We were born with it and cannot deny it.
We love the theatre. And we are what keeps it alive.
I've never been happier with where I'm at, and I'm glad I've stopped trying to deny it. I'm glad I can say we.
See you on another stage.