Friday, is school nearly over yet?

[lvndr_daydreams]

I am so tired of all this school...of all the hours I spend just to write one page to sound like Im smart. This semester's theme is apparently multiculturalism. In three of my classes, this topic is key, especially in my psychology classes. I just want to survive the semester with good grades...but I already skipped one of three exams in one class...literature. I cant stand Literature, mostly this bullshit that surrounds fiction. I've never been a fan for fiction literature, it just seems so unreal, so much harder to learn from. Id rather crack an emotionally deep book that requires some perspective alterations to understand. Its been a little bit more difficult with Joe home. We get into arguments about silly things, and were both too stubborn to let it go or appologize. Joe's working on getting a job at Tropix in Kailua which is ab-fab because he can start saving money for our appartment next semester. The plan we have thought about is that we'd stay here in Hawaii until I finish undergraduate school and then I'd move to Texas with him and do graduate school. He tells me stories about the house he has near the beach and I wonder if there are really colleges in the part of Texas with a beach. I want him to be with his kid, I love kids and think theyre very important, especially when theyre youre own. I think thats why Ive been thinking about becoming a school counselor. I think about all the good they could have done me and didnt...I wonder if I didnt use them the right way. I wonder if I would be somewhere different if I never met will. I wonder if I would have gone off to college and I wonder if I would have ever fallen in love...but things happen for a reason and Im so glad to be with Joe, he truely holds all of my heart and I hope one day to own a very large piece of his as well. Im getting tired of partying with my friends Jr and Judy. I guess with Alandra there I cant get that comfortable, I dont know why, I dont dislike her, I just feel more unmyself around her. It sucked, I finally felt like I fit in somewhere and now I feel like I dont. I wonder if we hung out with out her if I would like it again, but somehow I doubt it. Joe and I did E two weeks ago kind of as a celebration of him getting out of the Navy. It was awesome, and I think about doing it again, but I know its the drugs that want me to, Im not sure if I do. SCHOOL starts in about 2 hours, I just have two classes today, but they all make me feel like breaking down and crying. Im ready to quit. But I know, that if I keep the pace up...studying about 5-12 hours a day...I'll do well...I'll get my GPA up and one day maybe be a psychologist.

But for now, I just need a break...spring breaks next month, along with 6 month anniversery and possible go-karting. So keep the faith...