"Stay with me, don't let me go, 'cause I can't be without you..."

[lvlycatastrophe]

Hey there. It's me. I should be doing my broadcast homework or hell, any sort of homework, but I just don't want to. I'm not motivated at all to do it. I'm losing interest in the whole school aspect of my life. I don't want to do this anymore. But my parents and I are shelling out a good chunk of change so I should just suck it up and deal with it. What's going on in the life of me? Not too much, I'm afraid. Same shit as usual. I curse too much. It's not very ladylike of me. I need to stop that. My infatuation with a certain person is as strong as ever. I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling. Lust? Infatuation? Attraction? Something else? Whatever it is, it's consuming me. I just think about it all the time. I want to just cut myself off, but I can't. It's like a magnetic attraction. I'm pulled towards him constantly. He's just...amazing. I don't know what would be better and hurt less...I know that nothing can happen. I've accepted that as well as I possibly can. But I don't know if it would be better for him to want it too even though we can't or if he just isn't interested in the slightest. I don't know. I can't read him anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I'm so tired of wanting what I can't possibly have. I'm just a mess and I'm beating myself up over it and it's just so stupid.

Why'd you have to be so cute? It's impossible to ignore you. Must you make me laugh so much? It's bad enough we get along so well. Say goodnight and go!

We'd be good...we'd be great together...