Twenty-Three Birthday Cakes...
It’s funny that I chose not to post yesterday. There was a lot behind that decision, one I figured I’d wait a minute to let myself fully percolate. There’s nothing like ruining a good thought by jumping the gun and spilling the beans too soon. One, undercooked beans are akin to chewing on bullets jacketed in extremely malleable alloy, and two, everyone hates that feeling when they know they spoke before an idea had fully matured. The fastest way to kill a bird is to pitch it from the nest too soon. Or kill it. But let’s not focus on that.
I see in the future opportunity. I see in the future fortune. I see hardship, I see loss, but at the same time I see triumph. There’s no good without bad, and I don’t think being human allows us to enjoy the sweet without the sour. Can a person truly grasp a good thing without first experiencing a bad thing? We are creatures of comparison, without a parallel, the subject matter doesn’t exist, does it? I mean, sure it’s there, but do we really get it? Can we fathom what it is, the object of positive energy, without the trauma of negative energy? Granted, I don’t subscribe to too much philosophy, I believe it’s the person’s individual right to form their own philosophies that work for them, but by that same token, we need to know another perspective.
We turn. We turn with the world and we don’t feel it moving. Maybe its possible, if everyone starts walking in the opposite direction that the earth turns, maybe it will spin the other way. What if Superman was right? What if you could turn back the hands of time by spinning the ball backwards. Will that other ball at Time Square slide back up the pole? Will you undo that one thing you wish you hadn’t done anyway? Consider the fact that you probably might not have enjoyed life as much if you could undue all of your wrongs. It’s our wrongs that form us; they either swallow us or culture us. I say this, because it seems that wrong makes us appreciate right or it makes us worship wrong.
Me, I’m a two sided coin. I enjoy wrong and right equally. Maybe that makes me neutral. Whatever the case, it seems I lack the ability to fully abhor either one. I have to admit, damn it, I like doing wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I like right, sure. I like being able to give, I like being able to help out a friend, but I also like poking holes in someone’s umbrella when it’s raining. Or walking through the mall during Election Week, flipping off the political shippers, giving them dirty looks and saying things like: ‘Get the fuck away from me, I don’t vote. Shove that pamphlet down your throat and shit confetti.’
But back to the subject. Why didn’t I post yesterday…? Well, it was my birthday. I turned twenty-three and only this evening did I realize I’ve actually been fortunate enough to see twenty-three birthday cakes. There are actually people who can’t say that, either because they have some birthdays that they never got a cake or because they don’t like cake, or because they lost their lives in the attempt to see cake twenty-three. Twenty-three birthday cakes… wow. I can’t help but feel like I’ve accomplished something. I’m also kind of frightened by that notion. As everyone who bothers keeping up with this thing knows, I have a very short list of fears, among them are the fact that I’m afraid of the dark, that’s numero uno, and the other is the fact that I’m deathly afraid of turning thirty. I can’t figure out why thirty scares me so much, but I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that at that age, you have to honestly accept adulthood as the rule and not the exception. At that point I really do have to put away my childish things. I don’t want to. I love my childish things so much. I suppose one could argue that part of growing up is loss, but why?
Why do we have to lose things we care about? Is that the ultimate equalizer, death and loss? And if that’s the case, why do we have to seek balance. In some strange way, balance almost feels like a way of cheating us out of having abundance. We’re not allowed to have too much? I would think after a life of good and bad, at some point we could have all good and nothing else. Why can’t we have recess at forty?
Wither way, I’m sure the best has yet to come. As a wise man once told me: Keep living, kiddo. Keep living.
And keep living I shall. We should all be excited about the next fifteen years, looking forward to what might happen, how things will change. Change isn’t always a bad thing. Couldn’t be.
Anyway, hang in there blue star dreamers. Smile big, wish magic and live strong.
Hybrid: Out.
I see in the future opportunity. I see in the future fortune. I see hardship, I see loss, but at the same time I see triumph. There’s no good without bad, and I don’t think being human allows us to enjoy the sweet without the sour. Can a person truly grasp a good thing without first experiencing a bad thing? We are creatures of comparison, without a parallel, the subject matter doesn’t exist, does it? I mean, sure it’s there, but do we really get it? Can we fathom what it is, the object of positive energy, without the trauma of negative energy? Granted, I don’t subscribe to too much philosophy, I believe it’s the person’s individual right to form their own philosophies that work for them, but by that same token, we need to know another perspective.
We turn. We turn with the world and we don’t feel it moving. Maybe its possible, if everyone starts walking in the opposite direction that the earth turns, maybe it will spin the other way. What if Superman was right? What if you could turn back the hands of time by spinning the ball backwards. Will that other ball at Time Square slide back up the pole? Will you undo that one thing you wish you hadn’t done anyway? Consider the fact that you probably might not have enjoyed life as much if you could undue all of your wrongs. It’s our wrongs that form us; they either swallow us or culture us. I say this, because it seems that wrong makes us appreciate right or it makes us worship wrong.
Me, I’m a two sided coin. I enjoy wrong and right equally. Maybe that makes me neutral. Whatever the case, it seems I lack the ability to fully abhor either one. I have to admit, damn it, I like doing wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I like right, sure. I like being able to give, I like being able to help out a friend, but I also like poking holes in someone’s umbrella when it’s raining. Or walking through the mall during Election Week, flipping off the political shippers, giving them dirty looks and saying things like: ‘Get the fuck away from me, I don’t vote. Shove that pamphlet down your throat and shit confetti.’
But back to the subject. Why didn’t I post yesterday…? Well, it was my birthday. I turned twenty-three and only this evening did I realize I’ve actually been fortunate enough to see twenty-three birthday cakes. There are actually people who can’t say that, either because they have some birthdays that they never got a cake or because they don’t like cake, or because they lost their lives in the attempt to see cake twenty-three. Twenty-three birthday cakes… wow. I can’t help but feel like I’ve accomplished something. I’m also kind of frightened by that notion. As everyone who bothers keeping up with this thing knows, I have a very short list of fears, among them are the fact that I’m afraid of the dark, that’s numero uno, and the other is the fact that I’m deathly afraid of turning thirty. I can’t figure out why thirty scares me so much, but I’m sure it has a lot to do with the fact that at that age, you have to honestly accept adulthood as the rule and not the exception. At that point I really do have to put away my childish things. I don’t want to. I love my childish things so much. I suppose one could argue that part of growing up is loss, but why?
Why do we have to lose things we care about? Is that the ultimate equalizer, death and loss? And if that’s the case, why do we have to seek balance. In some strange way, balance almost feels like a way of cheating us out of having abundance. We’re not allowed to have too much? I would think after a life of good and bad, at some point we could have all good and nothing else. Why can’t we have recess at forty?
Wither way, I’m sure the best has yet to come. As a wise man once told me: Keep living, kiddo. Keep living.
And keep living I shall. We should all be excited about the next fifteen years, looking forward to what might happen, how things will change. Change isn’t always a bad thing. Couldn’t be.
Anyway, hang in there blue star dreamers. Smile big, wish magic and live strong.
Hybrid: Out.