Top Ten Reasons To Watch The Leprechaun
1) The acting. The Acting is so astronomically bad that it's comical on a gut-busting level. I suggest you don't eat or drink when watching this film, as spontaneous bouts of laughter are sure to follow.
2) Watching four white people, three of them adults, run from a midget in a green leisure suit, is even more rib tickling than the first excuse. And it's just plain pleasing to see them react in a completely over-blown manner.
3) The Leprechaun looks like Verne Troyer's daddy on steroids. Look, it's Mini-Me before he was an itch in his daddy's breeches.
4) C'mon, the little bastard murders somebody with a pogo stick; punctures his chest repeatedly in such a way as to make the bone and cartilage crunch audibly. What more could you possibly want?
5) Like we can't tell that those moments when The Leprechaun moves oh-so-fast are just sped up camera tricks. God that's lame.
6) Watch as Irish people everywhere are mocked by not only having their legends butchered, but also having it done by we Cocky Fucking Americans! Laugh with me: Hah-Hah-Hah-Hah!
7) Watch and be amazed as several times, the cowardly grown people stick back in hiding while they send the kid or the Token Retard to go do the difficult stuff. 'Fix the engine little Easily Forgotten Child, while we sit in the car and play lookout! Don't let the Leprechaun get you, as stupid as that sounds!'
8) Never in your wildest dreams could you ever imagine plot holes growing this large. Not even when you watch Anime will you ever be exposed to holes this wide, vast and powerful. I'm talking Black Holes here. If a four-leaf clover from the patch by the well can kill the Leprechaun, why didn't he die when he walked through that very patch an astounding EIGHT TIMES throughout the entire movie?
9) Shotgun shells, they blow apart pieces of automobiles but, even though our Leprechaun is impervious to them, his mild 3 foot stature and diminutive weight manages to ignore the impact value of ballistic collision at that speed and intensity and he merely falls over. Must be those magic boots.
10) Laugh uproariously as the retard is absolutely... FUCKED. UP when the little 3-foot bastard goes crazy, leaps on him, yanks off his belt buckle and proceeds to beat, his fucking, ASS with it. Never before have I seen such vehement disregard for another's well being where shoe parts were involved. This little fucker goes ape shit on the Tard's face like nobodies business; slashing, cutting, stabbing and prodding until little remains but a bloody mess and stained white painters overalls. Yet hope still remains, the fat bastard lived.
And finally, a misnomer reason that isn't included because most people wouldn't bother to think of it in these terms: Watch in horror as an already shitty script, plot and idea spirals down the toilet when a movie that makes no bones about making fun of itself tries to get serious at the end with the death of O'Grady and his final words to the poor heroine of our tale. He tells her how to kill the Leprechaun... While swinging upside down from the roof of an elevator, bloody and beaten thanks to our little green friend. And if that wasn't 'heart-wrenching enough', watch as the Leprechaun, despite proving earlier on in the film that his coins were the source of his power, gets all but 1 of the hundred coins back and yet displays no new talents, even after saying, 'My powers are returning'. What powers? If you're such a badass as this movie dictates, why is it that three corn fed Iowa white kids and a fat dimwit kick the SHIT out of you and then blow your sorry ass up in a well (full of water, mind) with gasoline and a match!? Leprechaun, you SUCK. Get the fuck off my TV before I call the INS on you and have your ass sent back to Scotland Yard or, whoever the fuck sponsors the Midget Olympics. - Also, as a side note, look out for that lame Product Placement by Lucky Charms when our Leprechaun friend gets a hold of a box and proceeds to sample it.
Hybrid: Out.
2) Watching four white people, three of them adults, run from a midget in a green leisure suit, is even more rib tickling than the first excuse. And it's just plain pleasing to see them react in a completely over-blown manner.
3) The Leprechaun looks like Verne Troyer's daddy on steroids. Look, it's Mini-Me before he was an itch in his daddy's breeches.
4) C'mon, the little bastard murders somebody with a pogo stick; punctures his chest repeatedly in such a way as to make the bone and cartilage crunch audibly. What more could you possibly want?
5) Like we can't tell that those moments when The Leprechaun moves oh-so-fast are just sped up camera tricks. God that's lame.
6) Watch as Irish people everywhere are mocked by not only having their legends butchered, but also having it done by we Cocky Fucking Americans! Laugh with me: Hah-Hah-Hah-Hah!
7) Watch and be amazed as several times, the cowardly grown people stick back in hiding while they send the kid or the Token Retard to go do the difficult stuff. 'Fix the engine little Easily Forgotten Child, while we sit in the car and play lookout! Don't let the Leprechaun get you, as stupid as that sounds!'
8) Never in your wildest dreams could you ever imagine plot holes growing this large. Not even when you watch Anime will you ever be exposed to holes this wide, vast and powerful. I'm talking Black Holes here. If a four-leaf clover from the patch by the well can kill the Leprechaun, why didn't he die when he walked through that very patch an astounding EIGHT TIMES throughout the entire movie?
9) Shotgun shells, they blow apart pieces of automobiles but, even though our Leprechaun is impervious to them, his mild 3 foot stature and diminutive weight manages to ignore the impact value of ballistic collision at that speed and intensity and he merely falls over. Must be those magic boots.
10) Laugh uproariously as the retard is absolutely... FUCKED. UP when the little 3-foot bastard goes crazy, leaps on him, yanks off his belt buckle and proceeds to beat, his fucking, ASS with it. Never before have I seen such vehement disregard for another's well being where shoe parts were involved. This little fucker goes ape shit on the Tard's face like nobodies business; slashing, cutting, stabbing and prodding until little remains but a bloody mess and stained white painters overalls. Yet hope still remains, the fat bastard lived.
And finally, a misnomer reason that isn't included because most people wouldn't bother to think of it in these terms: Watch in horror as an already shitty script, plot and idea spirals down the toilet when a movie that makes no bones about making fun of itself tries to get serious at the end with the death of O'Grady and his final words to the poor heroine of our tale. He tells her how to kill the Leprechaun... While swinging upside down from the roof of an elevator, bloody and beaten thanks to our little green friend. And if that wasn't 'heart-wrenching enough', watch as the Leprechaun, despite proving earlier on in the film that his coins were the source of his power, gets all but 1 of the hundred coins back and yet displays no new talents, even after saying, 'My powers are returning'. What powers? If you're such a badass as this movie dictates, why is it that three corn fed Iowa white kids and a fat dimwit kick the SHIT out of you and then blow your sorry ass up in a well (full of water, mind) with gasoline and a match!? Leprechaun, you SUCK. Get the fuck off my TV before I call the INS on you and have your ass sent back to Scotland Yard or, whoever the fuck sponsors the Midget Olympics. - Also, as a side note, look out for that lame Product Placement by Lucky Charms when our Leprechaun friend gets a hold of a box and proceeds to sample it.
Hybrid: Out.