(no subject)
its a beautiful day, and though the sun is shining right now and the sky is blue, it can easily turn all around into a fucking terrible storm!
...but at this moment, the sky is blue.
last weekend was my birthday weekend it seemed, and i milked it for all it was worth. Jake took me out to this spa place an hour away in Hot springs north carolina, which was very nice of him. My dad drove up from charlotte and took all my roommates and I out to dinner, which was very nice of him. and then on monday, the day of my birth, we all went out to the chocolate lounge, smoked the birthday blunt, and spent $18 dollars on chocolate. very successful i'd say.
i really have nothing else to write about, most things are peachy keen besides the small stuff involving insecurities and also not having my car.
i miss my car so much, it was kinda like a pet. poor 'ol big blue.
I know its kinda a long time from now, and silly to think about, but i'm scared of this summer.
how the fuck am i just going to go back to charlotte without all these people here that i love?! and how am i going to leave this place that i have established as my new home?! and what the fuck will i do with myself and my 40 hour job that my dad is FORCING me to apply for.
yes i'm spoiled i know it.
i just want to live my life that i'm creating, i want to move into a house here with grace and kelly, and live down the street from jake and friends, and have great house parties and have my own room and kitchen and a fucking front porch! ohhhh i cannot wait for the front porch!
how will i accomplish all of this with the insufficient funding that i have.
these things are trivial when it comes to the grand scheme, i know this. there are people with greater problems and obstacles to overcome, and though it sounds screwy coming from me i'm sure, i pray/think about kayla everyday hoping that she'll be alright. everyone that i dont hear from, i hope they're doing fine. Savannah i hope you're doing fine ya hear?
everyday i love living just alittle bit more, and it definitely didn't used to be like that.