(no subject)

[lvepps]

I began this post the night it happened.  and i decided to stop.  I could not finish what i was trying to say. I could not begin to express how i was feeling and though i cannot completely do it now, i've come the realization that he should be remembered and cherished for the happy times he brought all of us.  Aaron was one of my best friends. I spent almost every weekend over at his house and i fell in love with his charisma, his honesty, and his completely gorgeous outlook on life.  I really don't know how to feel. It feels like perhaps he's just on vacation and that he'll be returning home shortly, but i know he wont.  When i heard the news, i was the one that had to share it with all of his friends. I called everyone that knew aaron the way i did and we all cried together. It was the best thing and the worst thing, being together holding eachother feeling our hearts break.  That night we decided to hold a gathering in Aaron's honor. I was so glad to see how many people showed up, and i could picture the smile on Aaron's face when he realized all those people were there for him. he'd say " oh you guyyssss," with his little bashful smile.  Its not fair that something like this happened to someone so wonderful, but is it ever fair?  We all lit candles and participated in Aaron's favorite things, listening to his favorite music, talking about all the great things and all the funny stories, we lit candles and poured out a fosters, which Aaron would have considered sacrilege but it was for him.  I'll miss him everyday, and talking to him about my problems and him saying "epps, is that it? is that all thats going on? you've got it good epps, don't complain you've got it good"   I know now that i do.  I have people in my life that were so close to him, our only connections left with him are eachother.  When i saw the report on the news i broke down. I was furious and saddened at the same time. They portrayed him as just another casualty to drunk driving. And while i hate him for it now, that was Aaron, stubborn and sure of himself in every situation. He was in no way a stupid kid, he was one of the smartest, most promising, and responsible kids that i knew. He had everything going for him and was cut out of this world too soon. way too soon.  I really hope that where he is now, he's looking down laughing at us knowing that we still have to put up with this hell of a world we're living in.  I know that we all miss him, I know that Sammy misses him, I can't even imagine how his family feels, but as one of his close friends, his ally, and a confidant, i can say that the impact that he made on my life is one that could never be forgotten.  I hope through all of this that he saves lives. That everyone that he was close to, or even those who just knew him, or knew of him, will never make the same mistake.  Life is too precious to risk.  Things happen and we can't take them back, Please, don't cause anyone else this heartbreak that i'm feeling. its not worth it.
I love Aaron and i Always will.