(no subject)
Even if it is a Jimmy Choo, the other shoe will always drop.
Everytime I get my hopes up. Everytime I get excited about something. Every time. I don't particularly want to go back to the days when I never had positive expectations. I don't want to go around with the knowledge that the fun great idea in my head is not going to work because everytime I think of one there is always some other force beating it down.
It's hard for me to accept that even though I am married and have to ok everything by and make accomodations and considerations for someone else there really isn't anyone else in the world that can fully look out for me. I hate to think that I am the only one that can make me happy even if it is the truth.
No man is an island, yes. Somehow though, I may have ended up shipwrecked and alone.
If you take care of you, everything else will fall into place. What if it doesn't? What if I never figure out what triggers to avoid? What if I have nothing to do with triggers at all? Why can't people just stay in their boxes? I never claimed to be a mind reader but I am afraid of other's demons, of others. I bend my life around for the hope, for the possibility. I change my schedule when often times the result is my loneliness, unproductivity, or my fear for my well-being. How do I assert my independence without relinquishing my intimacy?
Down but not out.
Everytime I get my hopes up. Everytime I get excited about something. Every time. I don't particularly want to go back to the days when I never had positive expectations. I don't want to go around with the knowledge that the fun great idea in my head is not going to work because everytime I think of one there is always some other force beating it down.
It's hard for me to accept that even though I am married and have to ok everything by and make accomodations and considerations for someone else there really isn't anyone else in the world that can fully look out for me. I hate to think that I am the only one that can make me happy even if it is the truth.
No man is an island, yes. Somehow though, I may have ended up shipwrecked and alone.
If you take care of you, everything else will fall into place. What if it doesn't? What if I never figure out what triggers to avoid? What if I have nothing to do with triggers at all? Why can't people just stay in their boxes? I never claimed to be a mind reader but I am afraid of other's demons, of others. I bend my life around for the hope, for the possibility. I change my schedule when often times the result is my loneliness, unproductivity, or my fear for my well-being. How do I assert my independence without relinquishing my intimacy?
Down but not out.