Havana Grill
I thought I was done chaging for everyone. That finally I could be myself around everyone who matter. yet i find myself having to change everything, i find myself holding my tounge more that i speak my mind. i hate it. but if i want these people to accept me, shouldn't i accpet them? or is there a line where you say no, i don't have to deal with this, even if you care deeply about the person. what do i have to do for everything to be alright. for everything to be the way it use to be. there are so many thoughts i have, i don't know how to get them all down. everything is so confusing. the pro and con list are so close i don't know what to do. and yet the very things they hate about me, they are causing. the thing about being a friend is that you care, you try, and you atleast pretend to give a shit about the persons feelings. unless im doing somethings like burning down a house or something to that extent i honestly don't see any reason for anyone to treat, talk, or even ignore me that way, especially if its because of how i feel or who i am.
I haven't talked with my dad since the summer, early in the summer, and that was because i called him. recently i told my older sister about how mad and dissapointed i was that he hasn't called once. so she told him, hes been trying to call me, mom talked to him, blah blah blah blah blah blah. i refused to talk to him. so i was thinking of writing him a letter something where i could get my feelings out, be nice, and not have to listen to him talk 10000000000 words a minute about excuses he comes up with. today i got a letter in the mail from him, it says i love you on the back of the envolope. inside is a check for $500 and a print out of an add for his new restuarnt. i guess its doing good. it had a website on it www.havanagrill.com i miss him, even if he never really was much, it still ment something. and thats all that was in the envelope. the website and the flyer are very different styles. the flyer has to blondes with drink and everynight is ladies night! ladies drink free! WOOHOOO. im proud of him, i hope this one lasts tho. maybe i'll surprise him if i can when i go down with ellen.
i wanted to be on the team! tonight is Eddies birthday, hes 30...lol plus 15 woohoo! i love my momma soo much, and jackie, and all my girls. sometimes girls are pains, but i love these ones. i finished applying to all my colleges, well im going to apply to one more now i think. i hope i go roller skating tonight