(no subject)
i would be sooo malcontent right now, if i gave a shit. i'd say i'm a sad girl, but i know i'm just tired. not that i'm going to get any sleep tonight, or ever.
last night: prop 8 march, in which i cried like a fucking baby
this morning: pick-up game down the street with a co-worker that resulted in a pulled muscle i am trying to hide because i don't want this guy to think 15 layups are enough to reduce me to a limping shell of whatever buff ideal of me he has in his head
tonight: st. vincent at bimbo's 365
tomorrow: some extraordinarily divey cuban bar in east oakland that does not even have an ENTRY on yelp
friday: hip hop night, if i can find my zebra print tights
saturday: meeting of the minds in the tenderloin to discuss layoffs, life change, why all men are from idiots. then a play downtown.
sunday: baseball game, basketball game, repot begonias
at some point during all of this i also have to mend a broken work-relationship and figure out whether or not i am giving up deadline office space drudgery for a complete lack of security and some srs career excitement.
i also need a haircut. today i put my "bangs" back in a ponytail.
please advise: why do i not give a fuck about everything that was so important to me as recently as 3 months ago? why am i passively dismissing events and people that would've normally driven me into a frenzy?
this morning i missed my 9:53am bus by about half a minute. normally that shit would enrage me, but i feel so dejected and beaten down by all of the shit i cannot control and the shit that means nothing and the shit that is just fucking shit.
at least it still feels ok to write about it here, despite what a CAVERN OF NOTHINGNESS lj has become lately. please update, people. if for no other reason than there are other people relying on you to say "my shit is fucked up, too." i will even settle for "my shit is totally perfect, why isn't yours?"
last night: prop 8 march, in which i cried like a fucking baby
this morning: pick-up game down the street with a co-worker that resulted in a pulled muscle i am trying to hide because i don't want this guy to think 15 layups are enough to reduce me to a limping shell of whatever buff ideal of me he has in his head
tonight: st. vincent at bimbo's 365
tomorrow: some extraordinarily divey cuban bar in east oakland that does not even have an ENTRY on yelp
friday: hip hop night, if i can find my zebra print tights
saturday: meeting of the minds in the tenderloin to discuss layoffs, life change, why all men are from idiots. then a play downtown.
sunday: baseball game, basketball game, repot begonias
at some point during all of this i also have to mend a broken work-relationship and figure out whether or not i am giving up deadline office space drudgery for a complete lack of security and some srs career excitement.
i also need a haircut. today i put my "bangs" back in a ponytail.
please advise: why do i not give a fuck about everything that was so important to me as recently as 3 months ago? why am i passively dismissing events and people that would've normally driven me into a frenzy?
this morning i missed my 9:53am bus by about half a minute. normally that shit would enrage me, but i feel so dejected and beaten down by all of the shit i cannot control and the shit that means nothing and the shit that is just fucking shit.
at least it still feels ok to write about it here, despite what a CAVERN OF NOTHINGNESS lj has become lately. please update, people. if for no other reason than there are other people relying on you to say "my shit is fucked up, too." i will even settle for "my shit is totally perfect, why isn't yours?"