(no subject)
A brand-new LiveJournal. A tabula rasa upon which to inscribe my thoughts... Why, one might ask, have I decided to experiment with keeping a LiveJournal? They say that the life unexamined is not worth living. Socrates said it at least, and who am I to argue with Socrates?
Well, there's a question: Who am I? Perhaps it is time for a stock-taking in the inventory room of my life.
I am... twenty-seven, male, bi-sexual, single, balding, romantic, grumpy, lazy, employed, a fur, a role-player, British-not-English, pagan, a philosopher, a clerk, and... rather bad at talking about myself coherently.
Hmmm. Interesting set of priorities my subconscious picks when describing myself. Let's have a look at it, bit by bit:
What about the inner layers, you might ask? Ah, well. Some of them, even I'm not comfortable looking at too often. We all wear masks, especially when looking in the mirror. Stick around, keep reading (assuming I keep writing). Maybe you'll catch a glimpse now and then.
Mostly, though, I intend to write about my days, rant about my latest annoyances, recommend any webcomics that have particularly amused me... and now and then, share a question or observation that has crossed my mind. With luck, I'll make it interesting to people who aren't me. And if not, well... I'm mostly writing it for me anyway.
Well, there's a question: Who am I? Perhaps it is time for a stock-taking in the inventory room of my life.
I am... twenty-seven, male, bi-sexual, single, balding, romantic, grumpy, lazy, employed, a fur, a role-player, British-not-English, pagan, a philosopher, a clerk, and... rather bad at talking about myself coherently.
Hmmm. Interesting set of priorities my subconscious picks when describing myself. Let's have a look at it, bit by bit:
- I am... twenty-seven. It doesn't always feel it, sometimes. Something in my head maintains that I'm still seventeen. Then I look in the mirror, feel the lack of sleep and the need for coffee, the slight aches... and I feel a heck of a lot older. Maybe I should admit to myself that I'm as old as I am. 'Grow up'. But all too often that seems to translate as: 'Stop doing what you like and do what other people think you should'. Not quite yet.
- I am... male. Well, I can't argue with that one, physically at least. And I'm not transgendered - although I have acquaintances who are - I accept that I *am* male. Although, sometimes, I wonder what I'd be like if I wasn't. That might just be 'grass is greener' syndrome though. I also know what my parents would have named me if (as they had expected) I had been a girl: 'Siobhan'.
- I am... bi-sexual. More accurately, I fall in love with both sexes. Sexual attraction without romantic attraction - almost always for women. Falling in love... much more equal. There should be (and probably) is a word for that.
- I am... single. This is, pretty much, my ground state of existence. I had a friend who between the ages of eighteen and twenty-eight reckoned that he had been single for slightly over two weeks. I am not him. My relationships have been few, and I have a terrible habit of falling for my friends.
- I am... balding. Why did I even list this one? It is true. I am. Have been since I was seventeen. I didn't think it bothered me, and I don't try to hide it. Maybe it figures larger in my self-image than I normally think? I'm also over-weight, dark blond (what's left), blue-eyed, short-sighted, hirsute, and lots of other things, but they didn't make it onto the list. Odd.
- I am... romantic. I hide it well, but yes. I love the idea of love. The flowers, the silly little things you say, dancing, holding each other, candle-light dinners and walks on the seashore at sunset. Pity I'm terrible at putting it into practice.
- I am... grumpy. On a bad day, I'm like a bear with a sore head. On a good day, I'm like a bear with a sore head who's taken some aspirin. But seriously, some days, people should just build a concrete bunker round me and leave me ot work it out. the rest of the time, I like to think I'm fairly pleasant to be around. Of course, now I've got an LJ to vent the grump on! Yay!
- I am... lazy. No-one who has seen my house will argue with this one. I will do things if they need doing, at the last possible moment to do them, and rarely otherwise. Probably my worst feature. If we're judged on the Seven Cardinal Virtues and the Seven Deadly Sins, I really hope general low-grade goodness can outweigh the balance of Sloth.
- I am... employed. An exception to the laziness. I am employed because I like little things like food and shelter. And once I take someone's money, I do feel a strong obligation to provide value-for-money. Of course, at my pay-scale, this does not necessarily mean doing as much work as my boss might like.
- I am... a fur. Well, if the avatar didn't give it away. In my head, I can be a lot of different people, and a lot of them aren't human. On the 'Net, it seems that this particular bit of self-identification carries a lot of baggage. I can cope with that.
- I am... a role-player. I've been table-topping for oh, fifteen years or so? It has been my main hobby for the last ten or so. I have a particular fondness for Nobilis, although I've only run it one short campaign, and played it never. Other than that, I'm very taken with White Wolf's Mage, both old and new. I am somewhat notorious for role-playing cross-gender. I like to think I'm fairly good at it.
- I am... British-not-English. My parents are English, I am British. I wasn't born in England, and I didn't grow up here. It's still less than half my life that I've lived here. I think there is still a lot of pride that can be found in being British. I'm less convinced about being English. It seems to have debased a lot faster.
- I am... a pagan. I tend to identify with the Divine in the aspects of the Celtic pantheon, and also through Goddess and God worship in the aspects of the Moon and Sun. I am however, about as devout in my religious practice as many UK Christians are about going to church.
- I am... a philosopher. My BA is in Philosophy and Politics, and I remain interested in ethical philosophy. And, when drunk, I like embarking on long rambling discourses on the nature of reality. It's close enough for me.
- I am... a clerk. An administrative clerk to be precise. The employment mentioned above? This is what it is. I move money around for a major utilities company, and annoy customers on their behalf.
- I am... rather bad at talking about myself coherently? Well. Maybe not.
What about the inner layers, you might ask? Ah, well. Some of them, even I'm not comfortable looking at too often. We all wear masks, especially when looking in the mirror. Stick around, keep reading (assuming I keep writing). Maybe you'll catch a glimpse now and then.
Mostly, though, I intend to write about my days, rant about my latest annoyances, recommend any webcomics that have particularly amused me... and now and then, share a question or observation that has crossed my mind. With luck, I'll make it interesting to people who aren't me. And if not, well... I'm mostly writing it for me anyway.