Talisman - Sorrow Or The Song?

[luxvalence]

I am wearing the necklace Andrew made. It bothers me that whatever feeling I had associated with wearing it is gone - it's just another piece of jewelry, just a chunk of silver in a pleasing shape, so it goes with my outfit today. Yes, I'd be devastated if I lost it since it's the only tangible proof I have that what I thought was true was true - once upon a time - but I don't wear it like a talisman anymore. I used to be very aware of wearing it, comforted, like it used to be imbued with something... else. Love maybe? Silly to think of an object that way, but it was more about knowing I was loved; that can give a person a sense of, not invulnerability per se, but strength. That any obstacle can be overcome. I hate that I'm bitter enough now to think thats a false hope. Its hard to be an optimist the more experience one has with a bruised heart.

I miss that easy connection. An acceptance of whatever he is and the reciprocation of that. Simple. But ridiculously hard to find.

It still is a pretty necklace though. I guess I'm thinking about it because today I feel more vulnerable than usual today - fragile.

Today is for the studio - ALL day! I'm looking forward to it!

In the beggar's house of wasted thoughts I saw you
You took my hand,
led me to another land
Down past the old picture house we wandered
With no time to be proud,
I have to decide now
If I should follow the sorrow or the song
Where do I belong?
The sorrow or the song?
The sorrow or the song?
How the thought of you clings to me like
How the thought of you clings to me like
A haunting school yard memory waiting
I'll have to wait turn,
sit and watch them burn
The prison wall, the music hall, the tower clock
Is watching over town,
I'll have to decide now
If I should follow the sorrow or the song
Where do I belong?
The sorrow or the song?
The sorrow or the song?