Quotes from the movie "Slither"
Now, first I have to say I saw this movie for Nathan Fillion and Nathan Fillion alone, I didn't even know what it was about when I rented it, I just saw his name and grabbed it. Now after seeing it I can say I love James Gunn. Now, it's not the same love I have for Nathan (Yes, I need therapy). Nathan I would marry, have his babies and live with until he dies or I kill him, but James Gunn I would hang out with for all eternity, just hang. I always watch the Special Features of every movie and this man is hilarious. Not just that, but the script, it's genius and he wrote it. Then I checked (haven't watched) more quotes by his movies and the man is so good. He's funny, which is something you have to be for me to really like a movie, and with Slither he accomplished just that. I remember I watched that movie twice and went to sleep around noon because of it. Usually when I post movie quotes I just do a copy paste from the IMDB but in this very special occasion, as a tribute to my favorite script writer, I tried my best to post them in order (I wouldn't be surprised if some weren't, just a couple I suspect, since my memory isn't that good) and let me tell you, this movie rocks. I don't like gory movies at all, but if it's James Gunn, I'll watch it. Nathan or no Nathan, James Gunn is amazing to me now all by his itty bitty dysfunctional self.
Jack MacReady: Move the fuck out of the way cocksucker!
Uptight Mom: Howdy Mayor.
[Bill, Margaret and Trevor spot Grant and Starla getting into a car]
Trevor: That's one match I'll never get.
Margaret: [zipping Gina Kid's jacket up] Ain't no mystery. Starla was raised in them shanties off St. Luke, dirt poor. All she ever wanted was to be a lady. Ol' Grant Grant, he's always been made of green.
Trevor: Gold digger, huh?
Bill Pardy: Oh, hell, Margaret! Starla's mother left her, her daddy's a drunk, she was 17 years old. Ol' Grant pulls up in a big ol' Cadillac, house on the hill, *and* college tuition? What would you do?
Margaret: [Lifting a handkerchief to Gina Kid's nose] Blow.
Bill Pardy: Hell, if he had a 'gina, you'd'a married him, too.
Gina Kid: What's a "'gina"?
Bill Pardy: [after an awkward pause] It's a country. You know, where "Ginese" people come from. Learn to eavesdrop better.
Butcher: [Grant Grant is eyeballing a display counter filled with raw meat] Howdy, Mr. Grant.
Grant Grant: Oh, hey there, Killer.
Butcher: What can I do you for?
Grant Grant: Gimme a couple of your ribeyes.
Butcher: How many you need?
Grant Grant: Eight. Naw... ten. Uhm, no, no. You know what? Gimme fourteen.
Butcher: Having a party?
Grant Grant: Yeah, something like that. It's a... little surprise for the wife.
[from trailer]
Starla Grant: Baby, what happened to your face?
Grant Grant: It's just a bee sting.
Jack MacReady: [panicked] We need to find this Grant, and I mean yesterday. Town council's lit a Roman Candle, stuck it up my ass.
Bill Pardy: Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.
[they are discussing what caused Grant's transformation]
Jack MacReady: It's obvious the bastard's got lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: What?
Jack MacReady: Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces, and then you... eat a sandwich without washin' your hands. You got your lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: And that makes you look like a squid?
Wally: Like finding a needle in a fuck-stack.
Charlie: He looks likes something that fell off my dick during the war
Brenda Gutierrez: [Brenda has become a giant pregnant stomach] Something's wrong with me.
Brenda Gutierrez: The little fuckers are tearing me apart!
[from trailer]
Bill Pardy: Don't let them in your mouth!
Jack MacReady: This shit is about as far from God as shit can get!
Bill Pardy: [sighs to himself] My easy-going nature is gettin' sorely fuckin' tested.
Jack MacReady: Bitch is hardcore!
Bill Pardy: [to Kylie] What's with the spitting?
Jack MacReady: If I wasn't shittin' my pants right now, I'd be fuckin' fascinated.
Jack MacReady: You mean like Martians?
Bill Pardy: Martians are from Mars!
Jack MacReady: "Martian"'s a general term for space fucker!
Jack MacReady: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb!
Jack MacReady: I want my goddamn mister pibb
Kylie Strutemyer: What are we gonna do now?
Bill Pardy: I don't know. Probably turn into a couple of these fucked-up things.
Bill Pardy: Thank you for saving my ass back there.
Kylie Strutemyer: You're welcome.
Bill Pardy: Of course, when I tell that story, it's gonna be the other way around.
Bill Pardy: [after seeing a zombie become apart of Grant] Well now that is some fucked up shit
Jack MacReady: [Jack staggers towards Bill with alien growths on his face] Bill! Shoot me!
Bill Pardy: [shoots Jack in the head without hesitation]
Grant Grant: I've been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me?
Bill Pardy: Yep.
Bill Pardy: [in pain] What was that, that really hurt
[pulls out the tubulale]
Kylie Strutemyer: You need two of them things to get all womby
Bill Pardy: [in pain] oh, that's awesome
Jack MacReady: Move the fuck out of the way cocksucker!
Uptight Mom: Howdy Mayor.
[Bill, Margaret and Trevor spot Grant and Starla getting into a car]
Trevor: That's one match I'll never get.
Margaret: [zipping Gina Kid's jacket up] Ain't no mystery. Starla was raised in them shanties off St. Luke, dirt poor. All she ever wanted was to be a lady. Ol' Grant Grant, he's always been made of green.
Trevor: Gold digger, huh?
Bill Pardy: Oh, hell, Margaret! Starla's mother left her, her daddy's a drunk, she was 17 years old. Ol' Grant pulls up in a big ol' Cadillac, house on the hill, *and* college tuition? What would you do?
Margaret: [Lifting a handkerchief to Gina Kid's nose] Blow.
Bill Pardy: Hell, if he had a 'gina, you'd'a married him, too.
Gina Kid: What's a "'gina"?
Bill Pardy: [after an awkward pause] It's a country. You know, where "Ginese" people come from. Learn to eavesdrop better.
Butcher: [Grant Grant is eyeballing a display counter filled with raw meat] Howdy, Mr. Grant.
Grant Grant: Oh, hey there, Killer.
Butcher: What can I do you for?
Grant Grant: Gimme a couple of your ribeyes.
Butcher: How many you need?
Grant Grant: Eight. Naw... ten. Uhm, no, no. You know what? Gimme fourteen.
Butcher: Having a party?
Grant Grant: Yeah, something like that. It's a... little surprise for the wife.
[from trailer]
Starla Grant: Baby, what happened to your face?
Grant Grant: It's just a bee sting.
Jack MacReady: [panicked] We need to find this Grant, and I mean yesterday. Town council's lit a Roman Candle, stuck it up my ass.
Bill Pardy: Jack, your leisure activities ain't my business.
[they are discussing what caused Grant's transformation]
Jack MacReady: It's obvious the bastard's got lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: What?
Jack MacReady: Lyme disease. You touch some deer feces, and then you... eat a sandwich without washin' your hands. You got your lyme disease!
Bill Pardy: And that makes you look like a squid?
Wally: Like finding a needle in a fuck-stack.
Charlie: He looks likes something that fell off my dick during the war
Brenda Gutierrez: [Brenda has become a giant pregnant stomach] Something's wrong with me.
Brenda Gutierrez: The little fuckers are tearing me apart!
[from trailer]
Bill Pardy: Don't let them in your mouth!
Jack MacReady: This shit is about as far from God as shit can get!
Bill Pardy: [sighs to himself] My easy-going nature is gettin' sorely fuckin' tested.
Jack MacReady: Bitch is hardcore!
Bill Pardy: [to Kylie] What's with the spitting?
Jack MacReady: If I wasn't shittin' my pants right now, I'd be fuckin' fascinated.
Jack MacReady: You mean like Martians?
Bill Pardy: Martians are from Mars!
Jack MacReady: "Martian"'s a general term for space fucker!
Jack MacReady: Where is the Mr. Pibb? I told your secretary to pack Mr. Pibb. It's the only Coke I like. Goddamn Brenda exploding like a water balloon, worms driving my friends around like they're goddamn skin-cars, people are spitting acid at me, turning you into cottage cheese, and now there's no fucking goddamn Mr. Pibb!
Jack MacReady: I want my goddamn mister pibb
Kylie Strutemyer: What are we gonna do now?
Bill Pardy: I don't know. Probably turn into a couple of these fucked-up things.
Bill Pardy: Thank you for saving my ass back there.
Kylie Strutemyer: You're welcome.
Bill Pardy: Of course, when I tell that story, it's gonna be the other way around.
Bill Pardy: [after seeing a zombie become apart of Grant] Well now that is some fucked up shit
Jack MacReady: [Jack staggers towards Bill with alien growths on his face] Bill! Shoot me!
Bill Pardy: [shoots Jack in the head without hesitation]
Grant Grant: I've been around a million years! You think you can fuck with me?
Bill Pardy: Yep.
Bill Pardy: [in pain] What was that, that really hurt
[pulls out the tubulale]
Kylie Strutemyer: You need two of them things to get all womby
Bill Pardy: [in pain] oh, that's awesome