Four of Spades - Censorship
No bloody way. Whoever decided to whine and call in the authority down can bloody well get bent.
In the words of the dear departed Tom Lehrer, a political science professor at MIT, “I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it. Unfortunately the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it owing to the nature of the laws as a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on but we know what's really involved: dirty books are fun. That's all there is to it. But you can't get up in a court and say that I suppose. It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days I have here a march for mine.” That said, there’s a reason censorship will never work. There’s too much innuendo in the English language to allow it to work properly. Take the following song for instance:
Good mistress, I'm a plowman and I've come to plow your field,
to slip my blade beneath the soil and see if it will yield.
Good sir, I have a bonny field that many a plow would see.
If you know of a blade more firm than yours, please send him here to me.
Good mistress, I'm a locksmith, with a key to fit your door.
I'll slip it in more smoothly than was ever done before.
Good sir, the key is not what matters. Locks are but as good
as the length and strength of the sturdy bolt they thrust into the wood.
Good mistress, I'm a cutlerer with a dagger for your sheath.
But lift your skirt and try it on. You'll find it fits beneath.
Good sir, though I'm no highwayman nor soldier in the wars,
I prefer a manly broadsword, not a penknife such as yours!
It’s obvious what they’re talking about. It’s obvious that it’s the sort of thing the administration is trying to crack down on. It’s also obvious that it’s not censored at all. Life is funny that.
In any case, I’ve complied a list of substitute words until the ban is over:
Bloody
Balls
Frak
Gorram
Frell
I bite my thumb at you. (Included in honour of our play of course.)
Fubar
Snafu
Drek
Frag
Banging
Fsck
If you don’t understand any of the items on this list, I’ll explain them when the ban is lifted. Until then, you’ll have to wait. In then end though, I'll have to end this with Monty Python.
"I don't wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal foot trough water! I'll fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of elderberry!"
OOC: Mods, feel free to tell me if any of this is censored.
In the words of the dear departed Tom Lehrer, a political science professor at MIT, “I do have a cause though. It is obscenity. I'm for it. Unfortunately the civil liberties types who are fighting this issue have to fight it owing to the nature of the laws as a matter of freedom of speech and stifling of free expression and so on but we know what's really involved: dirty books are fun. That's all there is to it. But you can't get up in a court and say that I suppose. It's simply a matter of freedom of pleasure, a right which is not guaranteed by the Constitution unfortunately. Anyway, since people seem to be marching for their causes these days I have here a march for mine.” That said, there’s a reason censorship will never work. There’s too much innuendo in the English language to allow it to work properly. Take the following song for instance:
Good mistress, I'm a plowman and I've come to plow your field,
to slip my blade beneath the soil and see if it will yield.
Good sir, I have a bonny field that many a plow would see.
If you know of a blade more firm than yours, please send him here to me.
Good mistress, I'm a locksmith, with a key to fit your door.
I'll slip it in more smoothly than was ever done before.
Good sir, the key is not what matters. Locks are but as good
as the length and strength of the sturdy bolt they thrust into the wood.
Good mistress, I'm a cutlerer with a dagger for your sheath.
But lift your skirt and try it on. You'll find it fits beneath.
Good sir, though I'm no highwayman nor soldier in the wars,
I prefer a manly broadsword, not a penknife such as yours!
It’s obvious what they’re talking about. It’s obvious that it’s the sort of thing the administration is trying to crack down on. It’s also obvious that it’s not censored at all. Life is funny that.
In any case, I’ve complied a list of substitute words until the ban is over:
Bloody
Balls
Frak
Gorram
Frell
I bite my thumb at you. (Included in honour of our play of course.)
Fubar
Snafu
Drek
Frag
Banging
Fsck
If you don’t understand any of the items on this list, I’ll explain them when the ban is lifted. Until then, you’ll have to wait. In then end though, I'll have to end this with Monty Python.
"I don't wanna talk to you no more you empty headed animal foot trough water! I'll fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and you father smelt of elderberry!"
OOC: Mods, feel free to tell me if any of this is censored.