Welcome to my life...
Wow, I have really been disappointed, hurt, lost and not ok this past week.
Ame, my life partner, left me on Monday and kissed a mutual friend of ours the very next day. Talk about being kicked when I was down.
I am in Beaumont this weekend for a break/retreat from my life in Houston. It has been good for me and today, for the first time, I felt really happy and optimistic. I have so many awesome friends and Jesus to carry me through this devastating time.
So, I've began to look forward to some simple things such as growing my hair out, X and B think it will be really cute...but I must warn you, I am in NO way a hipster...and I know the first clue to tell if someone is a hipster is if they deny being one...but TRUST me here. I also gave myself my first shot in my thigh (instead of butt) today. That really empowered me because I no longer need Ame to give me a shot in my left glute. Sure, she can and might in the future, but today I really needed to do this for myself.
The thing that scares me is that I know that I am going to have many ups and downs. This is my first up and I want it to stay this way because its easier to move on when I am happy. But everyone tells me not to push the pain away, and I think they are right. It's not healthy for me to be in denial right now.
At night, when I am in bed (alone...for the first time in YEARS), I say to God, well I am still not OK today God, but I am a little better than I was yesterday and I pray that I might be even better tomorrow. I am excited to go to mass today to feel some major healing going on pouring from the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I'm getting that tattoo next year, when, hopefully I will be able to look to Jesus for my source of happiness rather than Ame.
In closing, I know a lot of people are mad/upset with/disappointed in Ame right now, but I think that she is hurting too. What we had was amazing and life changing and we really want to be close friends again. With that said, i ask that you do not post any comments saying negative things about her...for my sake.
Ame, my life partner, left me on Monday and kissed a mutual friend of ours the very next day. Talk about being kicked when I was down.
I am in Beaumont this weekend for a break/retreat from my life in Houston. It has been good for me and today, for the first time, I felt really happy and optimistic. I have so many awesome friends and Jesus to carry me through this devastating time.
So, I've began to look forward to some simple things such as growing my hair out, X and B think it will be really cute...but I must warn you, I am in NO way a hipster...and I know the first clue to tell if someone is a hipster is if they deny being one...but TRUST me here. I also gave myself my first shot in my thigh (instead of butt) today. That really empowered me because I no longer need Ame to give me a shot in my left glute. Sure, she can and might in the future, but today I really needed to do this for myself.
The thing that scares me is that I know that I am going to have many ups and downs. This is my first up and I want it to stay this way because its easier to move on when I am happy. But everyone tells me not to push the pain away, and I think they are right. It's not healthy for me to be in denial right now.
At night, when I am in bed (alone...for the first time in YEARS), I say to God, well I am still not OK today God, but I am a little better than I was yesterday and I pray that I might be even better tomorrow. I am excited to go to mass today to feel some major healing going on pouring from the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I'm getting that tattoo next year, when, hopefully I will be able to look to Jesus for my source of happiness rather than Ame.
In closing, I know a lot of people are mad/upset with/disappointed in Ame right now, but I think that she is hurting too. What we had was amazing and life changing and we really want to be close friends again. With that said, i ask that you do not post any comments saying negative things about her...for my sake.