And... we're back.
Well, I'm back. There is still no 'we' in the boyfriend or girlfriend sense (or the schizophrenic/dissociative identity sense, for that matter!). I want this hiatus from LJ to be over, at any rate. I haven't been reading any posts, let alone writing anything of my own. I miss all of you on my flist, and the communities I've been part of in the past. It's tough, though, keeping up with everything on here when I get so freakin' busy.
So... I defended my thesis in mid-December, after four months of working consistent insane hours trying to finish everything. Lots of long days, lots of nights where I didn't sleep. I think my record stood at 52 hours with no sleep. The writing process was brutal. More brutal than it should have been. I'm not sure if it was because I just didn't prepare myself well enough, in terms of building up a portfolio of writing about my topic beforehand, but it was tough. On my productive days near the beginning of it - and I have some very productive days - I felt proud of myself and some confidence in my writing that I haven't felt in a long time. That faded as the insanity of the timeline and the hours I was working to meet it grew. But I finished it, even if just barely.
And then I got sick. Very sick. Not hospital-sick, but it was damn close at first. I was just so tired and coughing, and not being able to keep down food... meh. A great way to celebrate Christmas. I started to recover getting closer to New Years, but then got very sick again trying to finish my revisions for the first due date. Missed that, got an extension until my supervisor returned from some field work in South America. Barely made the second deadline, almost had a breakdown on the day it was due, but handed it in and got it approved.
I've been working part-time since January doing theatre and concert tech work for the University's Performance Facilities (hanging/focusing lights, set building, audio troubleshooting, laying cable, general setup/tear-down). I didn't leave myself enough of a gap before I started working, which is why I had trouble meeting the second revisions deadline. The work has been a nice change of pace, that's for sure. It's not taxing in the way lab work is, and there has been enough variety that I haven't gotten too bored with it. I was worried at first because one of my best friends (and former roommate) is one of my bosses. I haven't had to work with him as much as the other guy, but things have been good when we have worked together so I guess my nervousness was unfounded. I just didn't want anything to happen to strain our friendship. Anyway, I'll be continuing with that until the end of April.
I also started another job today, doing an inventory of the University's Animal Archives, a museum collection of fish, bird, insect, mammal, and invertebrate specimens... It's probably going to take at least three weeks. The fish collections, in particular, are in bad shape and the previous inventory has been lost so I'm starting from scratch. I have some assistants, at least for this week... I'm worried that taking this on was a mistake, but I really need the money.
I'm still working for the Grad Student's Association as a vp. It's been tough so far this semester, because I had to let a lot of my productivity with them slide while I was working heavily on my thesis, so now I'm playing catch-up on the things that did not get accomplished during the fall semester. My committee, while very good at coming to meetings and participating there, are not so good at doing homework when I assign them to a particular project. They are getting a bit better at it this semester, perhaps since I've tried to give them a feeling of more project ownership when I've assigned them a task to complete before the next meeting. It's going to take up a lot of my free time to get that stuff done.
Of course, the rest of my free time should be dedicated to getting pieces of my thesis published. I've got to get at least one paper finished, at least to a decent draft, before I start my PhD. But I also need to come up with something in the next month to use for a conference abstract for this summer. Unfortunately, I talked about most of my thesis work at the conference last summer, so I have to present new data. The things that I do have are too small in sample size, or there are some limitations with the methodology and specimens that I used that I'm not comfortable defending at a conference quite yet. I had a plan for something else to get done over the course of this semester, but as of today I've done almost no work towards it.
All this being said, I did take some time off after I handed in my final thesis draft. I did a big roadtrip with a friend to help her move to Calgary. I had a great time, though we did have one very stressful day in Manitoba because it was very windy and the roads were completely ice-covered. Not snow-covered, we could have dealt with that, since we had good snowtires on the car. Ice is something else, though. Anyway... we made it out to Calgary about when I thought we would, and then went skiing the next day in Banff. That was an amazing experience, and I really want to go back some day. I want to see the park in the summer, too, of course. Have to be patient, though, until I get a real job.
The break was exactly what I needed. I was a bit slow getting back into the swing of things, but I think I've hit a comfortable, fast but not excessive, pace for the next few months of work. I've been in a much better mood, overall. I mean, let's face it: the exhaustion and combined with my perennial mental and emotional weaknesses synthesized a very depressive, negative me for quite a while there. I didn't share much of that with you guys on here, though others weren't so lucky. I've apologized to a number of people for being so negative and perhaps at times draining to be around, and also thanked them for being supportive and understanding of what was happening in my life. I have a few more to have that conversation with, but it has been somewhat demonstrative of whether or not some people in my life are fair or foul-weather friends. Useful, I guess.
I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. I went on a date last week for the first time in a long time. It went well, overall, and hopefully I'll see this guy again. Dunno if it's going to go anywhere at this point. It definitely wasn't an 'instant connection' moment, or anything like that, but I think I need something slower in pace and less intense than that. I fear that I will either invest too much in the relationship and let my career progress slide, or invest too much in my career and lose a good relationship... I'm hoping that, even if this doesn't go too far, that it will be a good kind of dating experience, so that I can build upon it in the future and be more emotionally healthy both in and out of relationships.
Well, that's all for me today. I need to get back to work, or at least walk home and work there. I don't particularly feel like going out into the cold right now, though. Bleh. We've had so much back-and-forth with the temperatures that my body can't decide what to be comfortable with. At least back in January when it was positively frigid out, -10˚C felt reasonable, while -5˚C seemed gloriously balmy. When I was out West, after the -40˚C windchill in Manitoba, skiing in Banff in -22˚C weather was just wonderful.
Maybe I should just call it a day and go skating in the town square. Hmm.
Michael
So... I defended my thesis in mid-December, after four months of working consistent insane hours trying to finish everything. Lots of long days, lots of nights where I didn't sleep. I think my record stood at 52 hours with no sleep. The writing process was brutal. More brutal than it should have been. I'm not sure if it was because I just didn't prepare myself well enough, in terms of building up a portfolio of writing about my topic beforehand, but it was tough. On my productive days near the beginning of it - and I have some very productive days - I felt proud of myself and some confidence in my writing that I haven't felt in a long time. That faded as the insanity of the timeline and the hours I was working to meet it grew. But I finished it, even if just barely.
And then I got sick. Very sick. Not hospital-sick, but it was damn close at first. I was just so tired and coughing, and not being able to keep down food... meh. A great way to celebrate Christmas. I started to recover getting closer to New Years, but then got very sick again trying to finish my revisions for the first due date. Missed that, got an extension until my supervisor returned from some field work in South America. Barely made the second deadline, almost had a breakdown on the day it was due, but handed it in and got it approved.
I've been working part-time since January doing theatre and concert tech work for the University's Performance Facilities (hanging/focusing lights, set building, audio troubleshooting, laying cable, general setup/tear-down). I didn't leave myself enough of a gap before I started working, which is why I had trouble meeting the second revisions deadline. The work has been a nice change of pace, that's for sure. It's not taxing in the way lab work is, and there has been enough variety that I haven't gotten too bored with it. I was worried at first because one of my best friends (and former roommate) is one of my bosses. I haven't had to work with him as much as the other guy, but things have been good when we have worked together so I guess my nervousness was unfounded. I just didn't want anything to happen to strain our friendship. Anyway, I'll be continuing with that until the end of April.
I also started another job today, doing an inventory of the University's Animal Archives, a museum collection of fish, bird, insect, mammal, and invertebrate specimens... It's probably going to take at least three weeks. The fish collections, in particular, are in bad shape and the previous inventory has been lost so I'm starting from scratch. I have some assistants, at least for this week... I'm worried that taking this on was a mistake, but I really need the money.
I'm still working for the Grad Student's Association as a vp. It's been tough so far this semester, because I had to let a lot of my productivity with them slide while I was working heavily on my thesis, so now I'm playing catch-up on the things that did not get accomplished during the fall semester. My committee, while very good at coming to meetings and participating there, are not so good at doing homework when I assign them to a particular project. They are getting a bit better at it this semester, perhaps since I've tried to give them a feeling of more project ownership when I've assigned them a task to complete before the next meeting. It's going to take up a lot of my free time to get that stuff done.
Of course, the rest of my free time should be dedicated to getting pieces of my thesis published. I've got to get at least one paper finished, at least to a decent draft, before I start my PhD. But I also need to come up with something in the next month to use for a conference abstract for this summer. Unfortunately, I talked about most of my thesis work at the conference last summer, so I have to present new data. The things that I do have are too small in sample size, or there are some limitations with the methodology and specimens that I used that I'm not comfortable defending at a conference quite yet. I had a plan for something else to get done over the course of this semester, but as of today I've done almost no work towards it.
All this being said, I did take some time off after I handed in my final thesis draft. I did a big roadtrip with a friend to help her move to Calgary. I had a great time, though we did have one very stressful day in Manitoba because it was very windy and the roads were completely ice-covered. Not snow-covered, we could have dealt with that, since we had good snowtires on the car. Ice is something else, though. Anyway... we made it out to Calgary about when I thought we would, and then went skiing the next day in Banff. That was an amazing experience, and I really want to go back some day. I want to see the park in the summer, too, of course. Have to be patient, though, until I get a real job.
The break was exactly what I needed. I was a bit slow getting back into the swing of things, but I think I've hit a comfortable, fast but not excessive, pace for the next few months of work. I've been in a much better mood, overall. I mean, let's face it: the exhaustion and combined with my perennial mental and emotional weaknesses synthesized a very depressive, negative me for quite a while there. I didn't share much of that with you guys on here, though others weren't so lucky. I've apologized to a number of people for being so negative and perhaps at times draining to be around, and also thanked them for being supportive and understanding of what was happening in my life. I have a few more to have that conversation with, but it has been somewhat demonstrative of whether or not some people in my life are fair or foul-weather friends. Useful, I guess.
I'm doing my best to keep my spirits up. I went on a date last week for the first time in a long time. It went well, overall, and hopefully I'll see this guy again. Dunno if it's going to go anywhere at this point. It definitely wasn't an 'instant connection' moment, or anything like that, but I think I need something slower in pace and less intense than that. I fear that I will either invest too much in the relationship and let my career progress slide, or invest too much in my career and lose a good relationship... I'm hoping that, even if this doesn't go too far, that it will be a good kind of dating experience, so that I can build upon it in the future and be more emotionally healthy both in and out of relationships.
Well, that's all for me today. I need to get back to work, or at least walk home and work there. I don't particularly feel like going out into the cold right now, though. Bleh. We've had so much back-and-forth with the temperatures that my body can't decide what to be comfortable with. At least back in January when it was positively frigid out, -10˚C felt reasonable, while -5˚C seemed gloriously balmy. When I was out West, after the -40˚C windchill in Manitoba, skiing in Banff in -22˚C weather was just wonderful.
Maybe I should just call it a day and go skating in the town square. Hmm.
Michael