(no subject)
You know, i dont think anyone takes me seriously. I act so happy all the time even if im not. i dont know why, its almost like a habit because being sad to me, is a concept that isnt accepted..? I really couldnt say why, but people don't realize that i get depressed too, or that i understand things that they think are too mature for me. I was talking to (blank) the other night and (blank) really understands me, but (blank) goes through things a lot worse than me though. So we were talking about being depressed, about cutting, about suicide and lots of other shit, and (blank) said you know, if (blank) tried to commit suicide but lived people would take (blank) seriously, friends wouldnt give (blank) shit anymore, and people would understand. I agree so much with (blank) sometimes. But at times i wonder, what comes after death? do we get another chance at something or is this it? and if this is it then why are we caused so much pain? Sometimes when i get really depressed and i am disrespecting myself, i guess you would call it, i realize that this could be all i get. But i would give anything for people to understand me, i feel like i am just judged so quickly, people meet me and think i'm immature perky isabelle, who likes horsies and cant spell her own name. Those kind of people are the ones that would make me want to try something. People dont believe me when i tell them certain things, i dont even care who the fuck reads this, if i were to say to someone right now that i had cut they wouldnt believe me for a second, or being anorexic? or trying to commit suicide? because thats not isabelle right? i'm just happy all the time, well fuck you