losing friends for the gain of happiness...
So it seems that I've lost a good friend of mine due to the fact that I can't be with him...wtf?
he got all pissed off at me because i can't fall in love with him. It's complete and total bullshit...
He stranded me at a party saturday night...stranded me, with a bunch of people I had never met before in my life..who does that? I don't think he even realized how quickly that could have gone bad..
I mean, yeah sure, they turned out to be really nice people...but they could have just as easily have been really fucked up people...and he left because I didn't want to sleep next to him...what a fucking baby!! oh well. he doesn't realize how easy it is for me to remove people from my life...he fucked me over...so he's dead to me.
I saw Jon yesterday!! that was AWESOME!! I've missed him sofuckingmuch!!! lol
We went and saw "I Am Legend" it was a really good movie...then i ran around with him while he did a bunch of shopping. it was fun. :] I can't wait to chill with him again!!
Things with me and Justin are really fantastic. I am happy with him. It's nice to have someone that actually wants to spend time with me, and doesn't just want sex.... he actually cares about me, and I adore him!!
Somehow out of all the good things that are going on right now, there's so much that I'm still not happy about..I mean I am happy, and I'm smiling again, and things seem to be fucking dandy...but when I start to actually think...thats when things get turned around..that's when things get fucked up. I guess I just think too much...It cause me to come to conclusions that are waaaaay out of touch and just plain crazy..idk..i suppose i just need to accept that things might actually be going good for once and that there's nothing to be worried about...it's just so hard to do that when you've been fucked over alot of times...
man it's fucking cold in here.
he got all pissed off at me because i can't fall in love with him. It's complete and total bullshit...
He stranded me at a party saturday night...stranded me, with a bunch of people I had never met before in my life..who does that? I don't think he even realized how quickly that could have gone bad..
I mean, yeah sure, they turned out to be really nice people...but they could have just as easily have been really fucked up people...and he left because I didn't want to sleep next to him...what a fucking baby!! oh well. he doesn't realize how easy it is for me to remove people from my life...he fucked me over...so he's dead to me.
I saw Jon yesterday!! that was AWESOME!! I've missed him sofuckingmuch!!! lol
We went and saw "I Am Legend" it was a really good movie...then i ran around with him while he did a bunch of shopping. it was fun. :] I can't wait to chill with him again!!
Things with me and Justin are really fantastic. I am happy with him. It's nice to have someone that actually wants to spend time with me, and doesn't just want sex.... he actually cares about me, and I adore him!!
Somehow out of all the good things that are going on right now, there's so much that I'm still not happy about..I mean I am happy, and I'm smiling again, and things seem to be fucking dandy...but when I start to actually think...thats when things get turned around..that's when things get fucked up. I guess I just think too much...It cause me to come to conclusions that are waaaaay out of touch and just plain crazy..idk..i suppose i just need to accept that things might actually be going good for once and that there's nothing to be worried about...it's just so hard to do that when you've been fucked over alot of times...
man it's fucking cold in here.