Sad face...

[luvsongforno1]

Ok so Sean broke up with me last night. Today would have been 9 months. I had a really hard time dealing with it yesterday. Like... really hard. I mean I got off the phone with Sean at like 12:30 and I had to talk to someone, so I called Jimmy. And he was actually really helpful. Like I really appreciated being able to talk to him and him actually staying up long enough to hear me rant and cry and everything. For awhile I couldn't really understand why he would do that (Sean... not Jimmy). I mean I thought everything was fine. And then all of a sudden one stupid comment to a hairdresser sparked a break up. If that doesn't teach you a lesson I don't know what does. I mean... you can't say anything to anyone anymore. But I guess I know that it's not my decision. If this is what he wants I can't stop him from doing it. It just hurts so bad because I was so happy with him. He was like all I wanted for so long and I just had it torn away. My like sole source of happiness, my pillow, my companion is gone now. But he says he just needs some time... maybe he does. But I know I certainly didn't. But if time is what he needs then time he shall get. I just can't help but being scared that he's not going to come back to me... that time isnt going to help us grow closer, just pull us farther apart. I guess it's not exactly the break up that I'm upset about... I'm more scared that I'm going to lose everything that made me happy for so long.
This has to be one of the scariest times in my life, and one of the harder things to deal with.

Nicole