lament to high school
I look back now and I see high school as very distant and bland. There are shadows of memories, but a lot of it is gone. I think I'm happy about that. I used to say that 13 was my worst time, because of the reactions I experienced from experimentation. But, now I guess 2002-2006 was pretty bad as well. A mechanism in my mind, that I never will fight or oppose, is that i block out and shadow those years. I find that I hate nearly all of the people I knew during that time and only can look at them with vengeful eyes. I hate that I am even going back to that time for one second. Then it drags me back to a time of horrible feelings, self abuse and bad poetry.
In the end, I think that all the trouble was a result of being different. Persecute the different. They are wrong. They are not molded and are skewed.
And then ya get out of the pressure and find that you, too, are different. But, are you really? Were you always or do you just think you are now? Or are you just doing the same shit that everyone else is doing?
I am one to not hold grudges. I am a good person inside, despite my cursing and aggressive humor. Though, I cannot look at one person from those years and not feel anger towards them. Not necessary for who they are, but mostly for the time they represent in my life. Time I want to forget.
I feel like age 12-17 molded me a lot. They were very influential years.
Nearly all of the friends I have ever had have fucked me over.
In the end, I think that all the trouble was a result of being different. Persecute the different. They are wrong. They are not molded and are skewed.
And then ya get out of the pressure and find that you, too, are different. But, are you really? Were you always or do you just think you are now? Or are you just doing the same shit that everyone else is doing?
I am one to not hold grudges. I am a good person inside, despite my cursing and aggressive humor. Though, I cannot look at one person from those years and not feel anger towards them. Not necessary for who they are, but mostly for the time they represent in my life. Time I want to forget.
I feel like age 12-17 molded me a lot. They were very influential years.
Nearly all of the friends I have ever had have fucked me over.