Funny conversations

[luvs_to_write]

Sometimes days have themes. One day a couple of weeks ago it was "the day of vivid imagery" at work because of how my mind was interpreting things people said.

This week has been the week of funny conversations.
For example, an actual e-mail conversation:

[Valued technical co-worker],

I had a very strange thing happen today. I sent the attached invitation to [co-worker 1] and [co-worker 2]. I received an acceptance message from [co-worker 3], which indicated that [2] had forwarded it.

However, [2] says he didn't. [3] also says he thought he saw [co-worker 4]'s name as well. No indication of [3] or [4] in the invite.

How could this meeting invite have been propagated if everyone says they didn't include those people?

Thanks,
Lisa
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People lie.
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-a
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Do you seriously think that's it? I only ask because I have had some weirdness with invitations from time to time, as I have told you.

Thanks,
Lisa
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shhhh, composing long silly e-mail to silly person about her silly calendar thingy
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-a

And then I receive a plausible technical explanation for why this has happened. Please note the seriousness of my reply. I adore smart friendly technical people. A is a riot.

Now to today, which is simply baffling:

Hi Lisa,

I need a copy of the original incorporation papers so that we can apply for a trademark for [Dept. I don't know] and its logo. Could you zap me a copy, email attachment or copies via snailmail...

Thanks,

[Random person whom I do not know]
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[Random person whom I do not know],

I'd be happy to help, but I'm not completely certain you sent this to the right person? Just checking...

Thanks,
Lisa
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Author's note: From here it does not go at all how I expected.

[Common first name] suggested you, so you it was ;) I'll continue my search elsewhere -- but thanks for the willingness to help! I'm pretty sure that we will all need to chat, at the least, possibly have you come down to get me up to speed on the accounting practices on the [dept. I don't know] end.

The [larger entity] accounting system is another issue. I'm not sure exactly how we will get you access to the system. But, if you could let me know what you need,I can make sure I pull and send it to you.

Thanks for your help -- [Random person whom I do not know].
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[Random person whom I do not know],

Are you talking about [Common first name] [Suggested last name name of person I know]? I don't have anything to do with the accounting practices or system, nor am I aware that I need access to anything. There's always a chance that there's something I don't know, though!

Anyway, I hope you find who you're looking for, and I'll be happy to try to assist you if I can.

Lisa
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No, [Common first name] [Not last name of person I suggested and not someone I know]! And, we found the [Dept. I don't know] incorporation papers hiding in one of her files. She wants me to include it in your mailing this Friday,
so that's where it will be. Sorry for the confusion!

[Random person whom I do not know].

The cluelessness of this person is astonishing. I mean really. How many times do I have to tell you that I don't have a flippin' clue who you are or what you want? Did you look me up in the [larger entity] directory that will tell you EVERY FLIPPIN' THING YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME IN MY JOB!!!!!