flashbacks of the past
One of the most painful things is to watch that significant other walk away after leaving you, watching the space between you grow further and further, and whats left inbetween that space?? Is absolutely nothing...or knowing that its nothing...or watching one of your good friends date Rudy...is painful enough...but i dont cry...i just sit and contemplate, about what occured...thinking that she's using that saturday as an excuse to go after him. I know him just as much as she does and at times even more...of course i do we were friends before we were anything either...just like you amy...and everyone saw me hurt and ache for him just as you did...the ironic thing is i was always coming to you because i wanted to call...and you would say that he was ugly and you would try to help me get over it...and now...what did i tell you???? That there was something about him that i couldnt break free from...and up until now she could never comprehend...You know what as much as i am angry at you, because i do feel as if you backstabbed me, your right, shit happens, but remember i backed off from Rey. Because you cared for him so deeply...as i do for Rudy...although we havent spoken (rudy and i), i still do care for him and feel we have unfinished business, because what had happened that last day we were "nina&rudy" we never really closed, and i think that is my reason for never forgetting about him...even up until now...i am happy for amy because although she didnt notice me noticing she ached for love...i know she is doing this to be a bitch but i'm happy for her and rudy...even if i still care for him...i'm sorry but what occurred that 'saturday' was nothing nothing...and she is overreacting...and i hope she's happy because when i was with rudy he made me feel invincible...she even knows..but whatever shit happens ...indiscretion occurs its our blind sited ego that just makes it worse....oh yeah i miss you roger....and jon 'hi'....love always ....Selina