cARdBOard-ed
something is wrong with my brain.
(more than usual, i mean)
my thoughts are beyond scattered.... i simply cannot collect them.
i have no idea what mood i am in, no idea what i feel like doing, have ZERO ability to read a book and am certain that whatever it is that i AM doing, isn't the right thing.
i feel both disconnected AND uncomfortable.
therefore i must be at least a little connected to something to feel yucky about being so disconnected.
i don't feel interesting, fun, altered but instead, i feel some sort of depersonalization - the shitty sort.
i don't feel all "cool" and poetic - existential and provocative but instead i feel flat, mismatched, automatic and cardboard.
i am not depressed but not happy.
i am simply here - sitting, typing to stay alive (to the moment)
i am not hungry, thirsty, tired, bored, active, lonely or bothered.
i am just flesh upon bone with my brain seated far far away from my mind.
(more than usual, i mean)
my thoughts are beyond scattered.... i simply cannot collect them.
i have no idea what mood i am in, no idea what i feel like doing, have ZERO ability to read a book and am certain that whatever it is that i AM doing, isn't the right thing.
i feel both disconnected AND uncomfortable.
therefore i must be at least a little connected to something to feel yucky about being so disconnected.
i don't feel interesting, fun, altered but instead, i feel some sort of depersonalization - the shitty sort.
i don't feel all "cool" and poetic - existential and provocative but instead i feel flat, mismatched, automatic and cardboard.
i am not depressed but not happy.
i am simply here - sitting, typing to stay alive (to the moment)
i am not hungry, thirsty, tired, bored, active, lonely or bothered.
i am just flesh upon bone with my brain seated far far away from my mind.