stupid little zebra
i assume it was some oddball random one day-showing of PMDD yesterday but maybe it wasn't.
maybe my illness has taken a new shape - one that's smaller in size but not in mite... one that goes unnoticed for days and then like a crazed yet stealth jungle cat, jumps the fuck out of the bushes and eats seven whole zebras in one gnashing of its teeth.
yesterday i felt my will to live slip away. but it wasn't that angry FUCK YOU SO KILL ME shit that usually comes and knocks on my para-suicidal door, either.
it was slow but insistent.
intense yet almost caring...
a come hither sort of courting -
like a fancy, frilly invitation to a tea party, NOT a dungeon-drool tug from hell.
and then today, POOF - it is gone.
not so much as a teacup left out to prove it was there.
and so now, i sit - alert
waiting for the jungle cat like a scared, yet intrigued stupid little zebra.
maybe my illness has taken a new shape - one that's smaller in size but not in mite... one that goes unnoticed for days and then like a crazed yet stealth jungle cat, jumps the fuck out of the bushes and eats seven whole zebras in one gnashing of its teeth.
yesterday i felt my will to live slip away. but it wasn't that angry FUCK YOU SO KILL ME shit that usually comes and knocks on my para-suicidal door, either.
it was slow but insistent.
intense yet almost caring...
a come hither sort of courting -
like a fancy, frilly invitation to a tea party, NOT a dungeon-drool tug from hell.
and then today, POOF - it is gone.
not so much as a teacup left out to prove it was there.
and so now, i sit - alert
waiting for the jungle cat like a scared, yet intrigued stupid little zebra.