the willy nilly windy wheel

Dec 09, 2008 20:49

my brain has hit a wall. (my skull, i guess!)

if my brain had wheels capable of exploring and traversing new terrain, imagine my skull is a giant wall preventing forward movement.... that my brain wheels are spinning in place - smacking and re-smacking the annoyingly in the way wall o bone.

it spins by the wind of the following thoughts: study criminal justice and forensic investigation or be a teacher.

doesn't sound like a strong wind but let me tell you....

when the small volume of the brain gets caught and filled with the intense current of fixating thoughts - especially when they are few enough in number to cause damage, wind can cyclone. (it is easier to feel the madness associated with few thought fixation - with many thoughts, however, you can almost chide yourself into thinking you are ok!)

eyeballs get puffed out from within
your ear drums beat til popping
your cheeks even puff up a bit
and your tounge thrusts out

even then there is still to much pressure created between the two competing thoughts.

petrified of making the wrong call or ruining the future with the wrong degree,
i sit here, 3mm away from a bony wall, staring at nothing, re-thinking the same useless cycle of nothing, wasting my present.... ruining today....

how dumb
this skull staring
cheek puffer-outer
thought re-thinker
is

all in a strange, ironic attempt to make a better tomorrow, i willy nilly dick fuck today.

paralysis, teacher ed, reflection, fixation, behavioral science, forensics

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