homesick
if you are not careful, life can seem so small.
the small (or even big) group of friends you have can feel like the only people on earth.
the streets you drive down can become the only roads you will ever take.
the conversations you have will sound like circles of repeated nonsense.
the bars or stores or malls you visit will appear to be filled with the same people - those you have dated; those you would never date; and those same annoying teenagers you yourself were once.
so you take a road trip or go on vacation with a boyfriend or friend and then one day move to that very place that felt so different; that made life feel so much bigger than that small life you left behind.
and then one day you wake up and the cycle starts again.
new friends become not so new.
your new place is filled with the same stuff you carried from your last place and though in different corners and hung on different walls, it starts to look just like it once did... in that other, way too small place.
the streets start to become too familiar as they lead you to the same place of work you have been driving to for half a year... even the deer you pass on the way, seem to recognize you.
if you are not careful, life can seem so small.
unless you think big.
unless you allow yourself to connect those roads - the ones you drove to high school with the ones you drove to college with the ones you drive now to work. and then of course, with the ones that you will take on new vacations with new boyfriends and friends and maybe even the new place(s) you may live.
if you make the mistake in thinking that wherever you are is all you are, your world will shrink. but if you allow yourself to remember all the roads you have taken and those yet to take, you will realize the world is much bigger than what you see before you today.
and even if you never take a new road again, the knowledge that you could may just be enough.
the small (or even big) group of friends you have can feel like the only people on earth.
the streets you drive down can become the only roads you will ever take.
the conversations you have will sound like circles of repeated nonsense.
the bars or stores or malls you visit will appear to be filled with the same people - those you have dated; those you would never date; and those same annoying teenagers you yourself were once.
so you take a road trip or go on vacation with a boyfriend or friend and then one day move to that very place that felt so different; that made life feel so much bigger than that small life you left behind.
and then one day you wake up and the cycle starts again.
new friends become not so new.
your new place is filled with the same stuff you carried from your last place and though in different corners and hung on different walls, it starts to look just like it once did... in that other, way too small place.
the streets start to become too familiar as they lead you to the same place of work you have been driving to for half a year... even the deer you pass on the way, seem to recognize you.
if you are not careful, life can seem so small.
unless you think big.
unless you allow yourself to connect those roads - the ones you drove to high school with the ones you drove to college with the ones you drive now to work. and then of course, with the ones that you will take on new vacations with new boyfriends and friends and maybe even the new place(s) you may live.
if you make the mistake in thinking that wherever you are is all you are, your world will shrink. but if you allow yourself to remember all the roads you have taken and those yet to take, you will realize the world is much bigger than what you see before you today.
and even if you never take a new road again, the knowledge that you could may just be enough.