Shawnne stays home
Yeah, she's staying. Yes, i'm overjoyed.
There's been so much drama though, and I hate drama... but I'd rather deal with drama than get my heart stomped on repeatedly. Unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. Lately it just seems as if I've been giving and giving and not asking for a whole lot in return... but when I want something back, it seems to be a huge deal. I can barely bring myself to talk about this with anybody, because in situations like this that involve a lot of people (especially my two best friends), I dont want to be selfish... so instead I'm trying to be totally selfless about everything, and nothing seems to be working. I just keep getting trampled on in fear that Shawnne will leave to go to Tennessee, or Mike will get upset and just take her away from me and then I'll be left with nobody... almost like what happened with teddy. I've learned something though: in being selfless, you take on all of the pain that you would have had originally, topped off by whomever you're acting selfess towards. So I've got three times what I should, but as always, its okay because Shawnne and Mike are happy. I'm happy for them...
Im going to bed. I've got a lot of crying to do.
-Salizar-
Music for the moment is as follows:
Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learn were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
I'm gonna run away and never say goodbye
There's been so much drama though, and I hate drama... but I'd rather deal with drama than get my heart stomped on repeatedly. Unfortunately, the two go hand in hand. Lately it just seems as if I've been giving and giving and not asking for a whole lot in return... but when I want something back, it seems to be a huge deal. I can barely bring myself to talk about this with anybody, because in situations like this that involve a lot of people (especially my two best friends), I dont want to be selfish... so instead I'm trying to be totally selfless about everything, and nothing seems to be working. I just keep getting trampled on in fear that Shawnne will leave to go to Tennessee, or Mike will get upset and just take her away from me and then I'll be left with nobody... almost like what happened with teddy. I've learned something though: in being selfless, you take on all of the pain that you would have had originally, topped off by whomever you're acting selfess towards. So I've got three times what I should, but as always, its okay because Shawnne and Mike are happy. I'm happy for them...
Im going to bed. I've got a lot of crying to do.
-Salizar-
Music for the moment is as follows:
Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learn were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)
I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind
I'm gonna run away and never say goodbye