What About Now? : Nightfall (5/?)
Title: What About Now? (Nightfall, 5/?)
+Author: Izzi, luvmeanddespair
+Pairing/Characters: Currently: YooSu, JaeHoMin, JaeChun.
+Rating/Genre: This part PG-13, some angst and fluff.
+Summary: Nightfall: A change happens in the group, supposedly for the better, but can the group survive?
+AN: Hey...guys. -_-;; It's been almost three months. I am so, so sorry. I don't have classes, but I do have a job that I've been busy with and I also hit a really bad roadblock. I'm still not happy with this chapter, but I'm just going to grit my teeth and post, because it can only get better, right? Right. Expect the next installment before the end of the month as I'm currently working on an exchange fic for minho_yongwonhi. Again, my apologies for the ridiculously long hiatus without warning. If anyone's still reading.
Nightfall: 1, 2, 3, 4
Yunho had woken from a deep sleep he hadn’t had for days. Memories of Changmin and the night before at the forefront, but as he stumbles out from the bathroom and into the kitchen they fade in favor of new thoughts. Jaejoong is humming, cleaning up items, breakfast still sitting on the table. He sits down and starts eating, letting his mind wake as he watches Jaejoong move about.
“Jaejoong-ah, you weren’t with us last night,” he finally says.
Jaejoong sets a plate on the drying rack and turns to lean with his back against the counter.
“I was helping Yoochun.”
“All night?” he says around a mouthful of rice, and then swallows.
Jaejoong doesn’t look at him. He frowns, gets up and walks over to him. Jaejoong’s gaze is still elsewhere, and it’s setting off a kind of internal alarm. He tilts the man’s chin up.
“He needed me, Yunho,” Jaejoong whispers.
Something cold coils in his chest, because if this is what he thinks it is, his worst nightmare has come true.
“You…slept with him?”
“It wasn’t like how it is with you and Changmin,” Jaejoong says, voice still quiet.
A rush of red-hot anger cuts through the cold dread.
“I see.”
“No, you don’t,” Jaejoong replies, predictably. “You never have. Every time I’ve tried to explain, I’ve given up because…it’s so complicated. That was wrong of me, Yunho.”
“That’s not the only thing that is.”
“I know. Yunho-ah, there’s just so much going on with him. Yoochun and I…we’re like brothers. We’ve told each other so many things, he’s my best friend, Yunnie. I know you want me to say that I’m sorry, and that I regret it. But I can’t. It had to happen. But maybe now that it has, I can finally tell you about how it is with us.”
It hurt that he wasn’t sorry. Part of Yunho wanted to hit Jaejoong, just for that. But that wouldn’t solve anything and it certainly would change anything. So instead he pulled the blond to his chest, holding him tightly.
“Everything, Jaejoong, you need to tell me everything that happened.”
“All right. But you have to listen.”
He’s about to protest, when the meaning sinks in and then Yunho nods, starting back towards the bedroom for privacy.
+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+
He laughs again, Changmin’s bright smile, only encouraging more. There’s a faint knock on the door and Yoochun sits up a bit in Changmin’s embrace.
“It’s open.”
Yunho’s head appears first, followed by the rest of him and he looks over them. Changmin is curled sitting up, an arm around Yoochun’s waist.
“Hi, Yunho-ah,” Changmin murmurs. “Hyung and I were talking.”
The relief is clear, if you knew to notice the slight flash of his eyes. Yoochun sits up more, tugging at his shirt collar, all too aware of the mark Jaejoong left.
“That’s good, Min-ah. Thank you for keeping him company,” Yunho says, a careful amount of praise injected along with appreciation.
“Did you and Jaejoong talk?”
Yoochun has rarely been able to understand the silent language the three of them speak, but the meaning behind the audible question is surprisingly clear. Are you angry with him? Is everything okay?
“Yes. He explained everything,” Yunho replies offering a hand in Changmin’s direction.
Yoochun caught one last smile as Changmin got up, hand lingering on Yunho’s before he went out of the room, closing the door. Yoochun scoot over a bit more, allowing Yunho to sit down on the bed.
“…he said you wouldn’t kill me.”
Yoochun winced as his mouth took off without him, glancing away at once. What he gets in return is a snort from Yunho. The tension eases a bit and he looks back up.
“To be honest… as far as you were concerned, I was more afraid then angry. Not that I wasn’t angry.”
“Afraid of what? That I’d steal him? I would never-”
“I know that. I think, I’ve always known. But you and Jaejoong have something that I don’t think any of us will ever have. I wanted that too, and I couldn’t understand why he would go to you sometimes instead of us. It would drive me crazy.”
“And Jaejoong couldn’t explain it worth shit,” Yoochun offers, smiling lopsidedly.
Yunho laughs, running a hand through his hair. “No, he couldn’t. Which made it worse.”
“At least I know I wasn’t paranoid for thinking you were glaring at me all those times we hung out.”
“Not all the time. Just most of the time.”
Yoochun felt his smile widen. “God, I thought for sure you were going to rip my head off.”
Yunho let out a sigh. “Yoochun-ah. I don’t know how to apologize for Junsu.”
He stiffened and shook his head. “Don’t. You can’t change that either.”
“I feel like I should have known. I’m the leader, for god’s sake.”
“Yunho-ah. It was everything to him,” Yoochun found himself murmuring. “Everything he wanted, what he’d been training for. It was his dream and he could finally touch it, be it after all these years.”
“But you, Yoochun. How could he just leave you?”
“I thought you talked to Jaejoong?”
“He told me about you and him, and he told me about some of what Junsu had said to you but he didn’t say why.”
“I didn’t need to tell him why.”
Yoochun wet his lips and shrugged. “He didn’t think it would be fair for us to try and keep out relationship like it was while he was off doing things. So we agreed to postpone it until the solo stuff is out of his system.”
“What do you mean, out of his system? I talked to management; they said he was solo.”
“He promised that he’d come back. He said that he needed his chance to stand alone and now was the time. But he also said that nothing could ever break us up, the five of us have been together so long that he’d probably end up missing us too much for him to stay alone.”
Yunho breathes, relieved. “Thank God.”
Yoochun nods. “He couldn’t tell me how long, though. Just that he had to leave and that he’d be back for our next concert.”
“I’m still going to kick his ass for not saying anything.”
“Yah, don’t kick it too much,” Yoochun replies smile curling his lips.
Yunho laughs and then pulls Yoochun into a hug. Yoochun let his arms wrap around Yunho, resting his chin on the man’s shoulder.
“Chunnie-ah. I want to thank you for taking care of my Jaejoong when he needs you…”
He nods, hearing the ‘but’ before it’s spoken.
“But don’t ever let it happen again,” the words are low, breath hitting the mark Jaejoong has left on Yoochun’s shoulder. “I want to believe you needed it, and that he needed to do it. And I want to believe it won’t happen again, like he says it won’t. But you have to promise me the same, Yoochun. Never again. I don’t want to hurt you, but I swear to God…”
“I’d let you, Yunho-ah,” he whispers back. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+
“Yoboseyo?”
“Yoboseyo!”
“Yoboseyo? Moshi moshi? Anyone there?
“Yobosey-Changminnie put this thing on speaker!”
“I am!”
“Faster, he’s going to hang up!”
“I’m working on it!”
“Yoboseyo! HELLO?”
“YOBOSEYO!”
“JUNSU-AH!”
“Yah! Deafen me, why don’t you!” yelps Junsu at the other end.
Jaejoong laughs, Yoochun smiles and Changmin rests his head against Yunho’s lap as the crowd around the speaker of the phone.
“Junsu-ah, how’s Tokyo?”
“Boring! Barely anything’s changed. How’s Korea?”
“Boring!” shoots back Changmin.
“Junsu-ah, they said you were coming back this weekend, you know what songs we’re singing, right?” asks Yunho, rubbing Changmin’s shoulder.
“Of course I do! Chunnie-ah?”
“Here Su-su…”
“Chunnie-ah, I miss you. I had to turn on the air conditioning in my room!”
Yoochun laughs, blinking rapidly. “I knew I could corrupt you!”
“Chunnie-ah!”
“Yes?”
“I miss you.”
“You just said that!”
“I know, but I really miss you! Do you miss me?”
“No, he’s forgotten all about you!” cut in Jaejoong. “He’s going out with Boa now, and he’s writing romantic songs for her.”
“Yah! Joongie-ah-”
Junsu laughs and Yoochun leans over the speaker.
“I miss you, too, baby. I love you, Su-ah.”
“Awww…”
“Shut up, Joongie-hyung!”
He’s coming home. It’s been weeks but he’s coming back.
+Author: Izzi, luvmeanddespair
+Pairing/Characters: Currently: YooSu, JaeHoMin, JaeChun.
+Rating/Genre: This part PG-13, some angst and fluff.
+Summary: Nightfall: A change happens in the group, supposedly for the better, but can the group survive?
+AN: Hey...guys. -_-;; It's been almost three months. I am so, so sorry. I don't have classes, but I do have a job that I've been busy with and I also hit a really bad roadblock. I'm still not happy with this chapter, but I'm just going to grit my teeth and post, because it can only get better, right? Right. Expect the next installment before the end of the month as I'm currently working on an exchange fic for minho_yongwonhi. Again, my apologies for the ridiculously long hiatus without warning. If anyone's still reading.
Nightfall: 1, 2, 3, 4
Yunho had woken from a deep sleep he hadn’t had for days. Memories of Changmin and the night before at the forefront, but as he stumbles out from the bathroom and into the kitchen they fade in favor of new thoughts. Jaejoong is humming, cleaning up items, breakfast still sitting on the table. He sits down and starts eating, letting his mind wake as he watches Jaejoong move about.
“Jaejoong-ah, you weren’t with us last night,” he finally says.
Jaejoong sets a plate on the drying rack and turns to lean with his back against the counter.
“I was helping Yoochun.”
“All night?” he says around a mouthful of rice, and then swallows.
Jaejoong doesn’t look at him. He frowns, gets up and walks over to him. Jaejoong’s gaze is still elsewhere, and it’s setting off a kind of internal alarm. He tilts the man’s chin up.
“He needed me, Yunho,” Jaejoong whispers.
Something cold coils in his chest, because if this is what he thinks it is, his worst nightmare has come true.
“You…slept with him?”
“It wasn’t like how it is with you and Changmin,” Jaejoong says, voice still quiet.
A rush of red-hot anger cuts through the cold dread.
“I see.”
“No, you don’t,” Jaejoong replies, predictably. “You never have. Every time I’ve tried to explain, I’ve given up because…it’s so complicated. That was wrong of me, Yunho.”
“That’s not the only thing that is.”
“I know. Yunho-ah, there’s just so much going on with him. Yoochun and I…we’re like brothers. We’ve told each other so many things, he’s my best friend, Yunnie. I know you want me to say that I’m sorry, and that I regret it. But I can’t. It had to happen. But maybe now that it has, I can finally tell you about how it is with us.”
It hurt that he wasn’t sorry. Part of Yunho wanted to hit Jaejoong, just for that. But that wouldn’t solve anything and it certainly would change anything. So instead he pulled the blond to his chest, holding him tightly.
“Everything, Jaejoong, you need to tell me everything that happened.”
“All right. But you have to listen.”
He’s about to protest, when the meaning sinks in and then Yunho nods, starting back towards the bedroom for privacy.
+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+
He laughs again, Changmin’s bright smile, only encouraging more. There’s a faint knock on the door and Yoochun sits up a bit in Changmin’s embrace.
“It’s open.”
Yunho’s head appears first, followed by the rest of him and he looks over them. Changmin is curled sitting up, an arm around Yoochun’s waist.
“Hi, Yunho-ah,” Changmin murmurs. “Hyung and I were talking.”
The relief is clear, if you knew to notice the slight flash of his eyes. Yoochun sits up more, tugging at his shirt collar, all too aware of the mark Jaejoong left.
“That’s good, Min-ah. Thank you for keeping him company,” Yunho says, a careful amount of praise injected along with appreciation.
“Did you and Jaejoong talk?”
Yoochun has rarely been able to understand the silent language the three of them speak, but the meaning behind the audible question is surprisingly clear. Are you angry with him? Is everything okay?
“Yes. He explained everything,” Yunho replies offering a hand in Changmin’s direction.
Yoochun caught one last smile as Changmin got up, hand lingering on Yunho’s before he went out of the room, closing the door. Yoochun scoot over a bit more, allowing Yunho to sit down on the bed.
“…he said you wouldn’t kill me.”
Yoochun winced as his mouth took off without him, glancing away at once. What he gets in return is a snort from Yunho. The tension eases a bit and he looks back up.
“To be honest… as far as you were concerned, I was more afraid then angry. Not that I wasn’t angry.”
“Afraid of what? That I’d steal him? I would never-”
“I know that. I think, I’ve always known. But you and Jaejoong have something that I don’t think any of us will ever have. I wanted that too, and I couldn’t understand why he would go to you sometimes instead of us. It would drive me crazy.”
“And Jaejoong couldn’t explain it worth shit,” Yoochun offers, smiling lopsidedly.
Yunho laughs, running a hand through his hair. “No, he couldn’t. Which made it worse.”
“At least I know I wasn’t paranoid for thinking you were glaring at me all those times we hung out.”
“Not all the time. Just most of the time.”
Yoochun felt his smile widen. “God, I thought for sure you were going to rip my head off.”
Yunho let out a sigh. “Yoochun-ah. I don’t know how to apologize for Junsu.”
He stiffened and shook his head. “Don’t. You can’t change that either.”
“I feel like I should have known. I’m the leader, for god’s sake.”
“Yunho-ah. It was everything to him,” Yoochun found himself murmuring. “Everything he wanted, what he’d been training for. It was his dream and he could finally touch it, be it after all these years.”
“But you, Yoochun. How could he just leave you?”
“I thought you talked to Jaejoong?”
“He told me about you and him, and he told me about some of what Junsu had said to you but he didn’t say why.”
“I didn’t need to tell him why.”
Yoochun wet his lips and shrugged. “He didn’t think it would be fair for us to try and keep out relationship like it was while he was off doing things. So we agreed to postpone it until the solo stuff is out of his system.”
“What do you mean, out of his system? I talked to management; they said he was solo.”
“He promised that he’d come back. He said that he needed his chance to stand alone and now was the time. But he also said that nothing could ever break us up, the five of us have been together so long that he’d probably end up missing us too much for him to stay alone.”
Yunho breathes, relieved. “Thank God.”
Yoochun nods. “He couldn’t tell me how long, though. Just that he had to leave and that he’d be back for our next concert.”
“I’m still going to kick his ass for not saying anything.”
“Yah, don’t kick it too much,” Yoochun replies smile curling his lips.
Yunho laughs and then pulls Yoochun into a hug. Yoochun let his arms wrap around Yunho, resting his chin on the man’s shoulder.
“Chunnie-ah. I want to thank you for taking care of my Jaejoong when he needs you…”
He nods, hearing the ‘but’ before it’s spoken.
“But don’t ever let it happen again,” the words are low, breath hitting the mark Jaejoong has left on Yoochun’s shoulder. “I want to believe you needed it, and that he needed to do it. And I want to believe it won’t happen again, like he says it won’t. But you have to promise me the same, Yoochun. Never again. I don’t want to hurt you, but I swear to God…”
“I’d let you, Yunho-ah,” he whispers back. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+<+>+
“Yoboseyo?”
“Yoboseyo!”
“Yoboseyo? Moshi moshi? Anyone there?
“Yobosey-Changminnie put this thing on speaker!”
“I am!”
“Faster, he’s going to hang up!”
“I’m working on it!”
“Yoboseyo! HELLO?”
“YOBOSEYO!”
“JUNSU-AH!”
“Yah! Deafen me, why don’t you!” yelps Junsu at the other end.
Jaejoong laughs, Yoochun smiles and Changmin rests his head against Yunho’s lap as the crowd around the speaker of the phone.
“Junsu-ah, how’s Tokyo?”
“Boring! Barely anything’s changed. How’s Korea?”
“Boring!” shoots back Changmin.
“Junsu-ah, they said you were coming back this weekend, you know what songs we’re singing, right?” asks Yunho, rubbing Changmin’s shoulder.
“Of course I do! Chunnie-ah?”
“Here Su-su…”
“Chunnie-ah, I miss you. I had to turn on the air conditioning in my room!”
Yoochun laughs, blinking rapidly. “I knew I could corrupt you!”
“Chunnie-ah!”
“Yes?”
“I miss you.”
“You just said that!”
“I know, but I really miss you! Do you miss me?”
“No, he’s forgotten all about you!” cut in Jaejoong. “He’s going out with Boa now, and he’s writing romantic songs for her.”
“Yah! Joongie-ah-”
Junsu laughs and Yoochun leans over the speaker.
“I miss you, too, baby. I love you, Su-ah.”
“Awww…”
“Shut up, Joongie-hyung!”
He’s coming home. It’s been weeks but he’s coming back.