(no subject)
What's the point of compassion if you can't do anything? I mean, what the hell good is it to want to help, to feel the need to help and hurt for someone else if you can't do anything? It makes me wish I didn't feel anything at all.
Fucking just. WHY. Why?! You're smarter than this, you're better than this I don't understand how you could get so warped in the head. YOU ARE TWELVE YEARS OLD. FUCKING TWELVE. I don't know how long I can deal with this if you don't start getting better.
I want to help, all of us want to help but you just lie. YOU LIE to us. Your family. First staving. Then chewing in spitting. NOW YOU'RE THROWING UP. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHY?! You exercise for hours to burn off calories you ate, even when you didn't even eat ANYTHING.
You're right. I "don't understand". I will never, NEVER understand starving yourself or making yourself throw up. Yes, i am overweight. I know this. I have been overweight since I was about your age. I am trying to get better. So is mom. So is dad. And if that had some kind of stupid effect on you, then I am sorry but for fuck's sake STOP.
YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER LIKE THIS. THE PERSON I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT DOESN'T DO THESE THINGS. I wish I could make you change. I wish you could just see that you are beautiful, so beautiful.
It kills me. It hurts me so bad that you can't see it.
And yeah, maybe I act like I don't care when you and you sister say I nag you because you do freaking NOTHING to help out around the house without someone else nagging. But it does hurt. I wish I didn't have to wonder if you still cared about me like a sister.
Maybe you don't love me. You don't have to, I guess. But I love you. And I want you to love yourself.
Fucking just. WHY. Why?! You're smarter than this, you're better than this I don't understand how you could get so warped in the head. YOU ARE TWELVE YEARS OLD. FUCKING TWELVE. I don't know how long I can deal with this if you don't start getting better.
I want to help, all of us want to help but you just lie. YOU LIE to us. Your family. First staving. Then chewing in spitting. NOW YOU'RE THROWING UP. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. WHY?! You exercise for hours to burn off calories you ate, even when you didn't even eat ANYTHING.
You're right. I "don't understand". I will never, NEVER understand starving yourself or making yourself throw up. Yes, i am overweight. I know this. I have been overweight since I was about your age. I am trying to get better. So is mom. So is dad. And if that had some kind of stupid effect on you, then I am sorry but for fuck's sake STOP.
YOU ARE NOT MY SISTER LIKE THIS. THE PERSON I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT DOESN'T DO THESE THINGS. I wish I could make you change. I wish you could just see that you are beautiful, so beautiful.
It kills me. It hurts me so bad that you can't see it.
And yeah, maybe I act like I don't care when you and you sister say I nag you because you do freaking NOTHING to help out around the house without someone else nagging. But it does hurt. I wish I didn't have to wonder if you still cared about me like a sister.
Maybe you don't love me. You don't have to, I guess. But I love you. And I want you to love yourself.