(no subject)
my parents dont get it, but i do...my dad jokes, "well frosty, you always were a heartbreaker" he laughs, and my mother frowned contently for the appropriate amount of time, and then started reading again...why dont they see, dont they see that my heart it faulty, my brain is having an annyurism, and my nose is infected...why cant they see it...
it didnt come as a shock to any of my friends, Junetta said, "i thought you were happy, but once a heartbreak always a heartbreaker" Beth said "not a suprise, boys love Em Jay,but Em Jay's hard on boys" and megan just hugged me, and said "it was a matter of time" i think megan was closest...
it ended like it started, i had a crush on him right away, i fell for him fast, but crushing hurts and falling scars, but i knew i loved him, for sure, the one time i talked to him about love, on the phone, and i realized, for the first time in my entire life, i wanst the only one crying, for once HE was crying too...i realized that he loved me, and that was the end of it too...im bad at being loved, im not used to it, im the best at being hated, but being loved is a whole nother ball game...and i dont get the rules... ive never been loved, not the right way, atleast, so im bad at it, i dont play good, and it has nothing to do with him...
i need to be by myself for now, until i learn to play nice with others, i dont like games, because i will not lose, i will do everything i can to win, even alter the rules to fit my liking, and love is a game, a game i wont be playing, not alymore, not at the risk of hurting him...
it didnt come as a shock to any of my friends, Junetta said, "i thought you were happy, but once a heartbreak always a heartbreaker" Beth said "not a suprise, boys love Em Jay,but Em Jay's hard on boys" and megan just hugged me, and said "it was a matter of time" i think megan was closest...
it ended like it started, i had a crush on him right away, i fell for him fast, but crushing hurts and falling scars, but i knew i loved him, for sure, the one time i talked to him about love, on the phone, and i realized, for the first time in my entire life, i wanst the only one crying, for once HE was crying too...i realized that he loved me, and that was the end of it too...im bad at being loved, im not used to it, im the best at being hated, but being loved is a whole nother ball game...and i dont get the rules... ive never been loved, not the right way, atleast, so im bad at it, i dont play good, and it has nothing to do with him...
i need to be by myself for now, until i learn to play nice with others, i dont like games, because i will not lose, i will do everything i can to win, even alter the rules to fit my liking, and love is a game, a game i wont be playing, not alymore, not at the risk of hurting him...