Changed
So I realized today how much I've changed in the past few years. I realized not only how much I've grown up but also how much my ex boyfriend changed me. This change isn't neccessarily for the better either. I was looking at old racing pics today with a friend who I used to be on the pit crew on and it made me realize how much I loved being out at the track and being so involved in stock car racing. When my ex and I got together, he didn't like the same type of racing I did, so in order to spend time with him, I didn't go as much. As our relationship got deeper, him refusing to go to the races with me made it so that I had to quit going so we could spend time together. The worse part of it is that he got me into another type of racing...street racing. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love imports! Its just the street racing part that has always worried me. There's always the possiblity of getting caught and getting in huge trouble, also theres the risk of getting hurt and hurting others at the same time. Yeah in stock car racing there is the possibility of getting hurt, but it is less cause of the requirements they have to fulfil, such as the specific seatbelt, seat, helmet, fire suit, etc. and everyone who is on the track during stock car racing is there to race whereas there is always the possibility of someone who isn't and doesn't want to be involved in street racing coming out onto the street and getting hurt by a racer. I think another big part is that stock car racing is legal, whereas street racing isn't. I miss stock car racing a lot. Hopefully this summer I'll be able to get back into it. I miss who I used to be. I don't like the fact that he pulled me away from something that I love so much to be with him either. Sometimes I wish I could just turn back time and do things over again....but hey, u have to have mistakes in order to learn, so maybe not being strong and allowing our relationship and him to pull me away from stock car racing was a mistake I need to learn from.