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Wow...LiveJournal...can u say crazy high school memories? Sweet lordy...esp 9th and 10th grade! What I wouldnt give to go back to then...I think I would take the worst day from back then over a day 2day...I miss the way things used to be soo much...I feel like I have lost so many friends...I feel like I have lost myself...I read all these old entries and cant help but wonder where that person that wrote them went...alot of them just seem so much more fun and upbeat...its like I lost the outgoing, fun-loving person, confident person I used be somewhere along the line...I just feel like a TOTALLY different person...and to me its not a better change...I read some of the things I wrote and Im like wow, I would never say that to anyone besides myself...its like I forgot how to speak my mind and let other people know how I truly feel...I feel like I keep everything to myself and find myself censoring the things I say because Im afraid someone is gunna get mad or something...I miss just being able to hang out and not worrying about this or that and just being able to have fun...I guess thats part of growing up...you have to take things more serious
I cant believe all this stuff going on w Heather...part of me wants to let her back into my life but idk...its so hard letting someone who hurt you so much just walk back into your life like nothing ever happened...the friendship we had was so different than the friendship that I ever had with anyone else and sometimes it hurts so much to think about how close we were then and how we are so far apart now...maybe slowly things will change and whatever is right will happen...maybe I'm the problem...it seems like I have lost all of my friends but Jessica & Cait...they are really the only constant people I have in my life...I love them so much I dont know what I would do if I ever lost them as my friends...
Wow...wut I wouldnt give for things to just be the way they were before...idk know what happened to all the dreams and expectations I had for myself...
I cant believe all this stuff going on w Heather...part of me wants to let her back into my life but idk...its so hard letting someone who hurt you so much just walk back into your life like nothing ever happened...the friendship we had was so different than the friendship that I ever had with anyone else and sometimes it hurts so much to think about how close we were then and how we are so far apart now...maybe slowly things will change and whatever is right will happen...maybe I'm the problem...it seems like I have lost all of my friends but Jessica & Cait...they are really the only constant people I have in my life...I love them so much I dont know what I would do if I ever lost them as my friends...
Wow...wut I wouldnt give for things to just be the way they were before...idk know what happened to all the dreams and expectations I had for myself...